Stephanie Moniuk

Stephanie Moniuk is an Emotional Fitness Coach and her goal is to help women break free from people-pleasing, perfectionism, and pain! She was inspired to help others after she self-healed from over 20 years of chronic back pain at the age of 23. It was the alchemy of the unlikely combination of pain science, applied behavior science, and competitive boxing that allowed her to explore how she could transmute pain and fear into power. Stephanie currently coaches others on their own path to transformation and healing.

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Stephanie Moniuk And Her Transformational Story of Battling Crippling Emotions to Crushing Life and Conquering Fear

Pamela Bardhi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of underdog. Today I have an amazing guest here with me, Stephanie, how are you?

Stephanie Moniuk
I’m doing well. Thanks so much for having me.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, my gosh, thanks so much for being here. You are radiating and I’m just so excited to hear you and your story. It’s so dynamic. It’s so fun. And I just can’t wait to get into it. Thank you so much for being here, my friend.

Stephanie Moniuk
Thank you. I’m excited.

Pamela Bardhi
So I’m going to start you off with the most loaded question humanly possible. What started you and what inspired you on your journey to where you are today?

Stephanie Moniuk
Yeah, it was really a necessity more than inspiration, I was in chronic pain. I had chronic back pain for years starting when I was a teenager and I just had enough I wanted out of pain. And wanted to try to figure out what was going to work for me. Because the typical things that they prescribed were not working. That was the start of the healing journey for me. And then I applied what I knew and was able to put that to work to help other people.

Pamela Bardhi
In a nutshell, what did you want to be when you grew up? Just curious

Stephanie Moniuk
Are you kidding me? I wanted to be a marine biologist. And then I wanted to be like sports medicine, I have a lot, I was kind of all over the place, I get a lot of things interesting. I’m a very curious person by nature. So if something excites me, like I just want to know more about it. And I can really like get into that world for a while and then be like, okay, cool. What else is out there? Which has actually served me I think really well because trying to find my way, required me to really investigate.

Deeply investigate all the different things out there and figure out. What was going to be the magic combination for me, as opposed to. Because what ends up happening, especially anybody who has had that chronic back pain. Or any kind of chronic pain, you end up just being at the mercy of the medical system, I was tired of that. So when you start feeling like, Alright, I need to figure this out. You know, you just need to be like, I’m going to spend some time I’m going to invest some energy in this and learn everything I can.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. So when did that pain start for you?

Stephanie Moniuk
Teenager, and it was on and off, I attributed it to playing sports and stuff. And then in my 20s, it got extreme, that’s when I got my first big diagnosis. You’ve got degenerative disc disease and multiple disc herniations. You could possibly be disabled at some point, like, lots of scary, scary stuff was a lot. And then I was told I wasn’t a surgical candidate, because it was degenerative. That even if they repaired it, it would continue to happen and then some other changes in my back. I actually had some pieces of herniated disk, like splinter off. So they actually had to go in and do surgery to remove them. But even then, maybe that will be the thing and then that didn’t help it, and then concurrently, I need to figure this out.

And I had watched Dr. Ben Benjamin tells the story several times. I was just on YouTube. Just like desperately searching and this video popped up about Dr. Lee. Looks like a man in a white coat with people on massage tables doing like these. Like really non-massage looking things like very medical hands-on. Almost like a sports or athletic trainer might do or a physical therapist a little bit that was like who is this guy? What’s this about? And I looked into it and I was like what medical massage is a whole thing and amazing. Usually what you end up doing is you feel like I’m gonna learn how to do that, so I can figure it out myself.

Unfortunately, his school had closed in the meantime, I’ve actually met him. I’ve been offended as a client several times, so it was pretty cool to be able to meet him in person. But anyway I ended up just enrolling in massage school. Deciding that I’m going to make my business painful, I’m gonna figure it out. Why people you know have pain and what can I do that was always my thing. I didn’t want the spa massage, I had no interest in doing what I wanted like that. How can I get in there and really, you know, fix this so massage school? Of course, you know educationally when it comes to deep science.

You’re not going to get fat, you know, really much deeper than what I was looking for. I want to know how the brain functions in terms of how the pain you know. We got kind of an overview, as much as you need to do this kind of work. But I knew I was going to need more. So I just embarked on my own sort of investigation and came about Cross Dr. Lorimer Moseley. Who’s an Australian researcher, who does a tonne of work about basically Nervous System sensitization. Which essentially is just that, like pain, like getting amped up. And that you can have that in the absence of structural damage. That the structural damage that we’re seeing on MRI rise is really just happenstance.

You know, that doesn’t necessarily and usually not cause for the pain. And that was just this massive light bulb, I was like, oh my God. So I’m putting these two things together. And then the more I started to read his work, I just noticed, I haven’t done anything different. My back was already calming down, I was having fewer flares in the chronic. Because in massage school with chronic back pain, that sucks, I bought an inversion table. I was upside down on my partner every night after clinic. Okay, I’m gonna do this because I get very, like, it may take a while to kind of figure out where I’m going to go. But once I decide, I’m freaking down, like, I don’t care. It’s happening, It’s happening.

So I was like, hanging upside down like a bat-like all throughout massage school. Doing all that stuff on the side trying to really learn all this and then it came to pass that I was like, oh, wow. I really got to a point where I could just turn that down, just using the understanding piece. And what I realized was that I no longer had fear. Because when it doesn’t move your back, you might break something, don’t move your back. You’ve got that brittle herniated disc in my mind and picture in a stack of Pringles. Don’t breathe, don’t sneeze, you’re done. And you can’t live like that, your body is constantly amped up, you’re constantly tense. So how do you move when you’re like that and that is so many years of conditioning physically.

And that’s basically, Unfortunately, the sad part is it’s really an unintended side effect for a lot of people. When they go and they get this information from doctors and they don’t really get the whole story. Because if it was followed up with, actually, you have this, but just so you know. There have been studies done on MRIs of people’s backs that have pain and don’t have pain. There’s no correlation in the pain group with the condition of their back. There are people with perfect MRIs that have back pain. And then, there are people that have MRIs that look like a warzone and they don’t have back pain. So it’s not structural. It’s not it was, like, oh, okay, all right, now it’s making sense.

And then after that, I discovered Dr. John Sarno, a little late to the party. I was on it because I had discovered his work years earlier. Because he wrote some of his early books in the 80s. So I absolutely could have come across them and didn’t. He was the one that talked about the fact of the mind-body split. With that Cartesian influence with medicine, we’re going to cut the mind from the body and they’re two separate entities. And he believes that the increase in a lot of these autoimmune issues, physical pain, maladies, back pain, you know. The instances of back pain in this country are outrageous and he was talking about this back then now, it’s even worse.

He believes it because we repress as a culture, we repress things, what I like to call things that make us feel gross. We repress our anger, we repress our shame, all those really uncomfortable feelings. And whether that be because you’re sensitive or because you’ve experienced trauma, there’s a whole host of reasons. But at the end of the day, we’re pushing things down, you know. When holding a beach ball underwater, how long can you do that? Eventually, it has to come out and it comes out in our bodies, in pain in our immune system attacking ourselves. Because it’s got to come out somewhere. And then I was like, Oh, he has a whole, a whole list of personality traits and people that tend towards what he coined as tension myositis syndrome.

Which basically means muscles get tight, but he believes it’s a response to psychological stressors. But there’s a whole list of personality traits, people-pleasers, he calls them good ists. People like perfectionists, people with poor boundaries, you know, people that just want to be liked. There’s a whole personality type that’s prone to this. And I was like, Oh, boy, that sounds really familiar. I saw myself in his words and then started spending a tonne of time really turning into myself, I think probably the first time in my life. It never even occurred to me to look into the prospect that sensations occur in my body that I’m not aware of. Or that I should be aware of. And it wasn’t such a foreign concept to me. It was like, what do you mean and that emotions aren’t thoughts.

Emotions or feelings, but we attach the words and say I feel mad and not the feeling in our chest. That swelling of anger or whatever it is that we’re like pushing down. We don’t even know about it. So once I saw that I was like, this all makes sense and this is the direction that needs to go. And then I decided, I wanted to fight and become a fighter. That was all kind of happening at the same time and I even used a lot of those techniques with that. Like playing with the emotion of fear, so that when the stakes were high. I was already used to it, I would like practice. Intentionally invoking a fearful state and myself. And then calming myself down, I would picture myself, like getting in the ring to fight and then allowing all that, holy-shit to build up.

Then I’m really good, but you’re really not this is just in your head, you’re cool that I’ve calmed myself down. And I would do that over and over again. So that leading up to it, if I did kind of have a moment of panic that I’d already addressed it like, No, we’ve been here, we’re cool. We can do this. That was the other thing, I also have PTSD diagnosis. So I was very wary. As much as I desire to do this. I was like, the real fact is, I’m practicing and ready. And then I get in the ring and then just have a panic attack. What is one of the Brady Bunch when the red light comes on?

I gave myself here, wow, I mean, I think I can do this I in my heart, I know I could do this. But something is going to happen if the conditions are different. The crowd, the lights, the music, like that is going to trigger something in me. Where I’m gonna be like, you know, in freeze up, so I wanted to make sure that that wasn’t gonna happen. But it was just incredible. Bob, I know I’ve gone on for quite a bit about this. But it is all the same thing.

And I think that’s really what I want to impress upon people is that like, all of that is the same stuff. It’s that connection between the mind and the body, It’s the stuff that we push in that. We don’t want to feel, we don’t want to feel fear, we don’t want to feel shame. And we don’t want to feel anger, because our subconscious has decided that those are inappropriate emotions. Especially for women and it makes us push them down and push them down. When you don’t realize that’s been happening and you’re like spinning out of control, health-wise, it’s just flipping a switch. All of a sudden, you’re like, oh, wait a minute, you know, this is really all much more under my control than I ever thought possible.

Pamela Bardhi
Right? And I love what you’re mentioning about the mind-body connection. Because of traditional medicine, it seems like everything’s just so separated, oh, take this for a headache. But the side effect of me you might get, I don’t know, stomach cramps. It’s just like crazy. Like modern medicine just drives me up a wall, like how do you give antidepressants that have side effects of suicide? If you just go back to ancient teachings. And then teachers that you mentioned, that talk about this is all interconnected and everything is energy. So those people who don’t have back pain, probably have other emotions that are suppressed. You can easily see those MRI-like energy is everything.

And I’ve also learned recently that emotions can get stored in certain parts of your body. You can cure these autoimmune no matter what it is if you just address that friggin emotion and it’s just so mind-blowing. But I love that, in the last five years. Healing has taken on a whole new wave of additional healing like what you’re talking about, cured yourself. I mean, because I can only imagine dealing with chronic back pain and how the ability that is. And it’s like a constant mental battle. But then when you said you, you turned inward, and that kind of changed the game. Because before what were doctors telling you. What were they even prescribing for?

Stephanie Moniuk
Like, bed rest so this is like back in the early 90s. Wow, this was a couple week of bed rest, modified duty, you know, all this stuff. Here’s a bunch of it because this is a pre opioid epidemic. So here you go when my knee hurts, What’s happening? Like, I have weird pains and other parts of our body. I’m like, this probably isn’t the right stuff. Yeah, they’re here just take whatever. And then when it comes out the problem is that I think that the whole mind-body connection in medicine has a marketing issue.

That’s why I believe it’s got really poor marketing. Because Mind-Body immediately sounds very, like yoga-ish. And all the more mainstream kinds of folks aren’t going to be on board with what they’re going to be like, what mind-body? What is that some kind of like their you know, they kind of hear. It means something that it doesn’t and then you look at Western medicine does. They turn around and call it psychosomatic. I mean psychosomatic means psycho, you know, meaning your psychology your brain, and so means the body.

It means the medical term, Latin root for mind-body, but instead, it’s been used as a derogatory term to say they’re faking it. You hear though, it’s psychosomatic. That’s the intent behind it, even though it’s not even what the term means. But the intent behind it was all in their head, you know, not like it’s all in your head. Because your head and body are connected. And that’s a major issue and it’s just as frustrating because there’s no money in this. You know, Dr. Sarno, if anyone’s curious, look up his story. Here’s a guy who was derided by his peers. They made fun of him behind his back and then. Because he would look at someone and be like, Oh, you’re fine.

Here’s what you need to do. And he would have lectures and have people come in and he would tell them the truth and people would have spontaneous remissions. Meanwhile, some of these doctors were from the Rusk School of Medicine and part of NYU. They secretly wanted to see him. Like they don’t want anyone to know. But he’s still never ever got anywhere close to the accolades that he deserved. There’s a few Memorial websites where people might post their stories. Howard Stern is such a big fan of his teacher at Howard Stern, Lary. David.

Pamela Bardhi
I’m just so intrigued. But what was his process?

Stephanie Moniuk
My process was basically saying, you got to feel your emotions, dude, stop suppressing your anger. Like that’s the thing. It was a no treatment. That’s what sucked because they couldn’t profit off because he’s not cutting. He’s not drugging, he’s not doing anything. You’re totally fine. You’ve got some repressed anger there and you need to work on getting that out. And he had a system that he would prescribe. It was a three-list system and it was a past-current personality. So on your past list, you would write down bullet points like everything that ever pissed you off as a child. Anything traumatic when the kid made fun of you when you wet your pants. That really horrible thing that happened with the uncle, like no matter what it is, it goes on the list and then you do another list.

That’s current day. What is it about your life today that’s really stressing you. And then the third list is personality traits. What are my personality traits contribute to this? And then it was like inexpressive writing activity, you know, what he wanted was to really expand to not intellectualize. Well, I understand as a child, it could have been hard. No, it should be like an asshole for doing that. To me. That’s the real shit. We spin a story so that it sounds good in our head and that we can repeat it. It’s not supposed to be that, It’s supposed to be the ugly dark thought. Sometimes I hate being a mother and I hate my kids. That’s the stuff that he wants people to put down on paper and then you can get rid of you throw it away.

This isn’t like a nice journal that you’re passing down. But it was a way of emptying that rage. One of his documents called all the rage, it’s that all of that shit, all of those gross emotions. They go somewhere and it just becomes this really just mucked up repressed anger, resentment, rage, again. All those gross things people don’t want to feel, because they’re so uncomfortable. So again, it was like, but at the same time, it’s like, he’s a specialist. They’re looking at him like you’re doing what? And he’s like here, right, these lists, you’re fine. You know, there’s nothing wrong, you know, and sometimes that would be enough. And they were like, he’s a nut. But he wasn’t. He was brilliant and very, very, very dedicated.

Pamela Bardhi
Wow, I’m gonna definitely check him out. That’s incredible, that’s incredible, so for you. So you went to massage school. And then after that, like, walk me through your trajectory of after that happened.

Stephanie Moniuk
I’ve been seeing a lot of people and I started seeing it myself. I had seen it in myself and then I would see clients at this get to know people, they share things here and there. And you’re like, this isn’t all just physical injuries. I work with a lot of athletes in my business. So sometimes, like, absolutely that’s clear. But these people have these things that have been going on for months and years. All of a sudden you get to talking to them. And they’re like, That’s why I worked with a woman who was the CEO for a big huge company, was just having these chronic issues and her body.

Just chronic pain and she was active and stuff and but like really was a big way. And very well known and she ended up all of a sudden was like feeling great. I’m like what happened you like I sold my share in the company. She’s like, all of a sudden when all those pressures were lifted off of her physically, she just felt so much better. So I started seeing that pattern over and over again. And I’m like, there’s definitely more to this, I think. So I started coming up with ways that people can have like exercises that people can do to sort of explore that emotional terrain. I did an educational series, beginning of this year, called a brain boot camp.

Where you kind of learn about how your brain kind of like trying to debunk a lot of the beliefs about the way it works. And the mind-body connection and how those things intersect. And then how it affects us because then as a subset of that I ended up now I have a Facebook group. Where I work with a lot of women called no boundaries, because that people-pleasing, it’s a little sneaky thing on my part. Because when you have chronic pain, and you try to talk to someone about their chronic pain, they don’t want to hear how their chronic pain isn’t something that’s broken. They’re like, no, it’s my back. Like they don’t want to hear I need to do this emotional work if you can reel them in using something different.

Like let’s work on your boundary issues and your people-pleasing, and you can get them to focus on the actual behaviors. Then all of a sudden has that ancillary effect of like, oh, wait a minute, because now what happens, I’ve got some boundaries, I’m not feeling so resentful. I’m able to carve time out for myself. And that turns down the dial because of your nervous system being constantly cranked up like everyone’s pulling at me and I have to be say the right thing or do the right thing or whatever pressures that people put on themselves. It’s kind of a nice way to get in through the back door be like let’s work on this or even just doing simple like tolerating uncomfortable emotions.

I have an exercise where that we don’t recall the worst thing that ever happened in your life but let’s keep this reasonable but everyone has those like middle of the road shameful moments where you know, you said the wrong line for school play and you can think about that and feel your cheeks flush just thought of it is like, yeah, that’s the stuff that we push away. So bring those things up and sit with them. And ask them like, Hey, what’s going on? Like, what are you doing here? Like, what? What do you need for me? Do you need anything? You know, is there anything I can do for you and, you know, sort of just treat it as like, it’s part of you that’s come up with that, maybe then can lead it doesn’t have to stick with you forever.

Or at least that you know that you can now tolerate that emotion. Because a lot of times, it’s the fear of what’s going to happen, if I let those big, bad, scary feelings in and that we have a lot of fear around that I’m afraid to let those big scary feelings. But the thing is again, just using that dial, just letting a little bit in and going, Okay, that wasn’t so bad. I mean, it wasn’t great marinating in my own gross feelings, but I did, right. And then you do it again. And then all of a sudden, when I try to convince people because they’re like, you already do what the sounds like the worst, I’m gonna pay you for what to help what I want to I’m gonna feel worse. Look, I don’t want any part of this.

And I’m like, No, you’re gonna just ride it out. Because once you get to the point where those things aren’t, like, prickly when you feel them, but opens the door, like now all of a sudden, you’re powerful and impervious. And you’re like, all of a sudden, things don’t bother you as much anymore. Your nervous system isn’t as easily triggered. The things that used to set you off before no longer do because you’ve got better control over I call it emotional fitness. I mean, most of us are very emotionally unfit.

Really, when you think about it and fitness, like anything else that requires exercise, I would usually say like, hey, I need to work on my abs. Well, you don’t just think about your abs and talk about your abs, you got to do some setups. And this is the same thing. You can’t just say I want to have better boundaries, I want my back pain to go away. I want you have to like actually do something, do some kind of work that brings you towards that goal. And in order for it to happen.

Pamela Bardhi
Totally. I love that when you got out of massage school, did you just start your own business right away?

Stephanie Moniuk
Yeah, I did start out right away, I still do. I’m kind of like half and half. So like COVID of course head. So I basically like went off on my own and immediately got into doing cupping therapy with athletes, that was kind of my jam, which I still do. And then when COVID hit and then everything was kind of shut down. I worked last year was working with just primarily with chronic pain patients via zoom. And I did that for a while and then I started getting more into the behavioral piece, the behavioral coaching. Because I guess it’s like that sneaky way in, because they’re actually I mean, even women that I’ve worked with that they come to me through like that I need to set better boundaries.

And then in talking, come to find out, they’ve got chronic pain issues, or they’ve got a chronic autoimmune condition. I believe it is so strong that it’s all connected. And I’m not saying 100 You know, there are certainly people walking around out there that might have an issue with, you know, people pleaser, boundaries and don’t but it’s interesting when you start to see the same patterns, you know, you start to recognize it. And then, you know, being able to, like connect those dots for people I think is really powerful. Because most of the time I think women you know when it comes to things like that we kind of tend to have a fixed mindset of like, like empaths, I’m an empath period, you know, oh, I’m like that because I’m an empath.

And it’s like, you know, my life sucks because I’m an empath I take on everyone else’s stuff. Like that’s what they’re saying. Usually, it’s some sort of a rationale for the way things are not going well. And it’s like, should be a period there should be like, okay, you know, you can say I’m a sociopath. You know, that’s like, okay, there’s really nothing we can do about that. But you know, when you know, even when you are taking other people’s things on, you still can work on setting some boundaries around those things, you can still work on being in control of those things and not having it control you. So that’s like always the thing I get on about I feel like is like, you know, these things should are never should be like a stop sign.

You know, like fear, to me isn’t a stop sign. Fear means go, that’s how I know like, it’s all I know, I’m on the right track, when all of a sudden I’m like, Oh, God, I feel awful. I’m like, Oh, shit now means I got to do this thing. Because that’s my, that’s my body’s way of going, Oh, no, no, no, you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. But you know, you’ve got something, you know, that’s where you need to be. So to use it as a tool, you know, don’t fear, use fear as a tool of like, this is something my body’s telling me. It’s trying to protect me from Why? Why, you know, if you’re walking down a dark alley, it makes sense. You’re sitting at your desk brainstorming, it doesn’t make sense. It means like, oh, wait a minute.

I was just thinking about something that probably something I should be doing. And you’re like, we don’t want to do that that might be put because here’s the internal dialogue. We don’t want you doing that. Because then you’re putting yourself out there, then you’re opening yourself up to rejection and shame. And we don’t want you to ever feel bad because that’s a horrible thing to feel. So we’re going to tamp this down and you’re going to keep on doing what you’re doing. So and that happens over and over and over again. So just knowing that’s what’s happening is our brain is you know, as intelligent as it is when it comes to managing our emotions. That reptilian part of the brain is like a major dope like it just doesn’t get it.

Like woolly mammoth new business idea, they’re the same, like, it’s the same to the brain, the brain is like, I don’t know. I think you should stay away, I’m gonna make you feel really short of breath and kind of like you might want to run off. I’m gonna make you feel this energy in your legs that you might need to fleet, which of course is not reasonable. But we take that and we go, I think I have an anxiety disorder. Or we don’t see it for what it is. It’s basically it’s our it’s almost a form of intuition. Really, if you want to look at it that way, that your fear is trying to tell you something.

Pamela Bardhi
Yes. How do you break through those people that are like, No, I have pain, but it’s not related to emotions. I’m talking specifically about I don’t know, a toxic masculinity type. How do you break through them to be like, Hey, buddy, old pal? How do you do that?

Stephanie Moniuk
The hard thing with that is you really, you really can’t. You can provide them with the information and provide them with the information, but the willingness has to come from them. Because so much of the process requires an internal shift in thinking I equated to trying to work with someone who should be in recovery, who’s you know, what an addict, the person’s not going to do, what you want them to do until they’re ready to do it until they’re ready to see it. And it really is the same thing, especially with chronic pain, because people identify with it, like, seriously identify with it. And to kind of chip away at that it can be a little bit dicey. So I’m always very careful if someone’s like, very fused with their identity as a chronic pain sufferer.

And I’ll be honest, social media doesn’t do us any favours. these support groups end up being more toxic than the problem you had in the beginning. A lot of these if you look at, you know, collective consciousness, I mean, basically, there were a few chronic back pain groups. I was in on Facebook, trying to, like, do a little educating. like, I’m more people, I understand you, oh, man, did I get shut down? They were like, hate me. And but even It was interesting being in the group because all they would talk about are symptoms. and I get it, you need that place to mend. But then, as a result, I mean, everyone ends up more symptomatic. I mean, I can’t be the only one, you know, I’m reading it.

And as I’m reading it, I can feel my own back kind of. So it’s like, is that really the most beneficial way to join a group and all band together and have the same kind of, you know, this energy floating around wherever just pass it around? Like, my back’s worth worse than yours, kind of, you know, like, I’ve got herniations at four levels. I’ve got them at three, I’ve got 25 rods, I’ve had four backs, And some of the stories you hear I have failed back surgery syndrome, which is an actual real diagnosis now. And I’m like, no, that means that your pain problem wasn’t surgical, and they did surgery, and I’m not shitting on I absolutely understand how it happens.

But then when you get to a point where you’re like, you know, like, you’re throwing money after that piece of crap car I’ve already put in 400, like, how many more surgeries you’re gonna get, like, clearly this isn’t fixing it. Another rod isn’t going to do it another fusion isn’t the answer. And it’s incredible. I mean people know it. A lot of the doctors know it. And there’s evidence out if the research is out there to show the efficacy of a lot of these procedures is just doesn’t function.

It’s no better than a placebo, which so sucks. It really sucks. So getting back to your you know, your question is, it’s extremely hard. It’s extremely hard. And it has to be the first step is always willingness, you have to be willing to look at it from a different way. You have to be willing to take what you think you know and look through a different lens.

What Would Stephanie Older Self Tell Her Younger Self

Pamela Bardhi
It’s fascinating stuff, but it’s all so real because your mind is so powerful. And oh my god, it’s incredible. Now, this is always my favorite question. What would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know now, especially throughout your journey?

Stephanie Moniuk
Oh, boy, my older self. Don’t listen to anybody. Don’t listen to any questions. You just don’t listen to anybody. Know, your own self. And the problem is I think we listen and then we allow that to change our opinions. So maybe Listen, but don’t necessarily believe it all, internalize it. I’ll own it all, do your own research, do your own homework, but at the time, you know, you’re just gonna go with what’s available.

Just be like, Oh, this is what I’m supposed to do. Alright, so this is what I’m gonna do. Don’t be so compliant. I guess maybe that would be a better thing. And that would be across the board just in general. Don’t be so compliant. It’s okay sometimes to be a dissenter.

Pamela Bardhi
For me. I’m always like the rebel. I’m just like, okay, but why is that okay? But why and that, like, people will answer your question and then they’re like, what response Do you expect from like, I’m just wondering why.

Stephanie Moniuk
Be inquisitive.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, I love that.

Stephanie Moniuk
I was not like that. Growing up I was like, I was a good girl. There was no about why

Pamela Bardhi
For me, it was all I was always questioned. I still do. Everyone’s like, Pam, like, Why are you so hard-headed? And I’m just like, well, because I know that there’s another answer. And I know this a different way every single time. So you can’t tell me that it’s just that I’ve been a punk ramble forever. And now What are you up to in your world and like the next six to 12 months, what’s happening? Well, it’s exciting.

Stephanie Moniuk
So I have a couple of things I’m working on, I have my boundary boot camp, which shouldn’t be running over the summer. And then I also have a separate class I’m working on for empaths boundaries for empaths. Because that tends to be kind of a little bit of a separate thing that I’m working on. And then obviously doing like someone on one coaching. So I have a few things. And then I’m definitely trying to build my Facebook group, no boundaries. And it’s for women, it’s been really fun because it’s just it’s all organic, everyone’s very helpful. And people will just post things about, like, I have to have a conversation with my boss, or Oh my God, I set this limit at work, you know, everywhere.

And then everyone’s like jumping in and is each other’s cheerleaders. And then it’s the snowball effect like someone will post like, I did this today. And then there’ll be like three or four other people within a week, there’ll be like, I read that she did this, I’ve been wanting to do something. And now I decided I’m gonna do this. So it’s really cool. It’s been a nice, you know, just that energy of people. Women just deciding, like, screw this, it’s okay, I can say no. and then and then they’ve got the group to kind of rely on me, like, I feel like crap. Everyone’s like, I know, I did, too. But everyone holds each other up, you know, and kind of, you know, keeps everyone going.

So it’s been fun. So definitely been trying to grow that because it’s a free group. And it’s a nice space for women to go and connect to kind of talk about. It’s weird, because there’s so much to talk about, even if you’re just talking about setting boundaries and people-pleasing. There’s just so much to talk about just with those like those two categories. But I feel like I haven’t really seen it anyplace, anywhere else that they have a home on the internet. And maybe I just haven’t seen them.

But I feel like I’ve had people say oh my god, my friend told me I had to join this group or I’ll have someone reach out and be like, I haven’t really posted anything. But I’ve been reading the stories that I wanted to share something with you privately like all these awesome little moments will come up. So it’s really it’s cool. I definitely recommend for anybody, any with any of the women out there that are feeling like they could use some support around boundaries and people-pleasing or just you know, it’s just a fun, fun group of ladies.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. And I was definitely working everybody finds you and you’re awesome. This.

Stephanie Moniuk
Let’s see, I’m on the My website is And I am also on Instagram, same call wellness. And the Facebook page is no boundaries. I think that about covers it. Those are the biggies that I’m on. I have a Tiktok that I occasionally post some cupping. I’m like I can’t learn. I don’t think I can learn anything else at this point. Yeah, if anybody wants to reach out through any of those mediums, and you know, want to talk more about any of this, I love talking about this stuff, because it’s just, it’s so interesting to me.

Pamela Bardhi
Well, it’s life-changing. It could be worth it for a lot of people out there. So thank you so much for sharing that your story. You’re absolutely incredible. They know much so so much for being here today, Stephanie.

Stephanie Moniuk
Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.

Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my incredible interview with the amazing Stephanie Moniuk.

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The Underdog Podcast host is none other than Pamela Bardhi. She’s rocking the Real Estate Realm and has dedicated her life as a Life Coach. She is also Forbes Real Estate Council. To know more about Pam, check out the following:

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