Holley Mignosi

Holley Mignosi is recognized as one of the top and renowned “Embodiment Coaches”. Holley is a speaking coach, storyteller, and body language expert. She helps speakers, experts, and leaders master the art of hypnotic body language and the neuroscience of charismatic communication so that they can maximize their influence and income on ALL of life’s stages. Holley has helped over 250,000 “Embody” their message with passion and dynamic stage presence.

She is a former owner of both a top modeling/acting agency and a fitness studio, she has been teaching people how to supercharge their confidence, charisma, body language, and physicality since 1995. Holley is a certified Neurolinguistic Practitioner and holds certifications in Conversational Hypnosis and Hypnotic Presentation Skills through the San Diego Hypnosis Institute.

Among her noteworthy accomplishments include:

Spoken on over 100 stages nationwide official in house TEDx speaking coaching over 90 guest media appearances helped over 250,000 people embody their message story of F.A.T.E-Addiction to entrepreneurs in less than 6 months grace the stage with Jack Canfield, Kim Kyosaki, and Janet AtwoodOver 8000 social media connections

Connect with Holley and her awesomeness here:

Website: https://www.holleymignosi.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/holleymig/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holleymignosi/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/holleymignosi/

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Holley Mignosi Shares her Transformational Story of Living from Pain to True Life Purpose

Pamela Bardhi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of underdog. Today I have an incredible guest here with me today. Holly, how are you?

Holley Mignosi
Hey, so good to see you. I’m excited to be here and honored to be here.

Pamela Bardhi
It is such an honor to have you seriously. I’m so pumped about our conversation today to hear your story and your awesomeness you just radiate. And it’s wonderful.

Holley Mignosi
Thank you, thank you as well.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you. You’re so awesome. So I always start off with the most loaded question known to man when it comes to these. These podcasts interviews, what led you on your journey to where you are today?

Holley Mignosi
Drugs and perfectionism. Yet?

Pamela Bardhi
Drugs and perfectionism sound like something that a lot of us can relate to.

Holley Mignosi
You know, you’ve seen a movie about it.

Pamela Bardhi
Right? Exactly. So walk me through that journey a little bit.

Holley Mignosi
Yeah, well, I couldn’t stop using cocaine. Because if I did, Pamela, I would lose my job. Now I know if you stop for a second and go, Wait, it’s supposed to be the other way. You need to stop. So you can keep your job. If I stopped, I would lose my job and what I mean by that is I was modelling and acting in my early 20s. And I loved what I was doing every day I was in fashion shows, TV commercials. I was even watching some shows. And then at night, I was teaching at a local acting and modeling school in my hometown. I was working with kids from the ages of four all the way up to 74 84 years old. Even people that want to do it as a hobby and I felt really good about myself.

I was doing what I loved, making good money and helping people. That was like the secret to life until one day when all of that completely changed. And my boss called all of us runway instructors into the room and announced that he was taking the company globally. He wanted his company to be the number one company in the world and in order to do that. We had to look like celebrity models and actors and Pamela, I don’t look like a celebrity model. Celebrity models are 510 511. I’m five, eight, and they have a very specific physicality. They’re long and lean and I’m just more curvy and athletic. I guess you could say. And in my early 20s, I had great self-confidence. But my boss pulled out a measuring tape.

And he asked for all of us run by my coaches to step on the runway. He began to measure us, our bust, our waist, and our hips. I can just feel if you’re listening right now, you’re probably cringing. Because these days, that is a huge No, no, but this is back in the 90s. And he called up the first runway instructor, measured her, and said, perfect. I knew he would cuz her physicality was perfect. Then he called up the second runway instructor. He measured her and he said, perfect and she stepped down. Then he called me and I got up on that runway. Exhaled all my air and tried to squeeze every ounce of my curvy self inward. To make myself smaller and he measured my bust in my waist, which was fine.

But when he got to my hips, they were not one, not two, not three, but four inches too big. And to you and me right now that seems like nothing. But in the industry, it actually meant I was fat. Even though I was a size four. He looked at my hips, pointed, looked at everybody else, and said, If any of you have this problem, fix it or you’re fired. I was the bad apple of the batch and at that moment. My self-confidence just plummeted, I felt ugly, I felt humiliated, I felt embarrassed. And not just in front of my co-workers, but the workers, my co-workers. These were my friends. I was the bad apple of the bunch. Everyone else was perfect.

And at that moment. I do what a lot of people do when you’re in a lot of pain. You decide I will never Feel this level of pain again. So I went on a search. I’m going to do any diet, exercise program, anything I can get my hands on, to help me lose the inches. And I tried pills and powders and shakes, everything guaranteed. To help you lose weight or your money back, but nothing worked. Pamela like I was me and I was actually the best version of me at that time, but I didn’t know it. Did something that you knew wasn’t good for you? But you did it anyway, cuz you wanted love? Well, after a few weeks, a friend held up a little bag of white powder and she said, try this.

Well, I’ve tried everything else and I did it and it was cocaine. And within just a few weeks, it worked. I was walking down the hallway and my new sleek physique. Getting compliments from coworkers and accolades from my boss, Pamela. I got a raise, I got a promotion, I was positively rewarded for doing this. What I was doing in private and on the outside, it looked like I had everything together. But on the inside, it was a whole different story, I had headaches, heart palpitations, sleepless nights, I was not very nice to be around. That stuff makes you kind of cranky and worst of all, I was a fraud, I knew that if I stopped, I would gain the inches back. And I was afraid of what would happen, I was afraid of that pain.

That’s what started my 10-year relationship on and off. Using different kinds of drugs to really just manage my weight. Until I was in my early 30s and things got really dangerous. I met someone, I got married, we got pregnant, I had a beautiful baby. And I was able to quit drugs while I was pregnant. Because it’s okay to gain weight while you’re pregnant. So I was able to quit. But by the time she was about three years old, that old friend of mine came back into my life with cocaine. Because we had problems in the marriage. And I was using it to medicate and to get back to that pre-baby, wait until things got really, really dangerous.

I remember one day I walked into my house with my husband at the time. And our little blond-haired blue-eyed ball of joy greeted us at the doorway and she said, Mommy, Daddy, where were you? You know, come play with me and my husband was exhausted. He said I’m going to bed. So he went to bed and I had been using it for several days and I was exhausted ready to just sleep it off. But half out of love. Half out of guilt. I was like, Okay, I’ll play with you. So we sat down and we had a Tea Party. She had the pink cup and I had the blue one and she had this beautiful little mash pink tutu that had petals all over it. And then I actually got really thirsty.

So I went to the kitchen to get some water back and she wasn’t in the living room. I was like, okay, so I went to her bedroom, I opened the door. She’s not there. Okay, I go to her bathroom, I open the door, she’s not there. And I looked down the hallway and the bedroom doors opened just a few inches. You know that feeling that you get like, intuitively, when you know something’s not right. And I walk into my bedroom to my left. My husband is asleep and on the floor is our beautiful three-year-old. Holding my drugs in her hands. I was terrified that she had ingested it, so I rushed to her and checked her mouth. Nothing there.

Thank God, I’d gotten there just in time. Grabbed the drugs, threw them away, grabbed her, picked her up, and held her. And then something really interesting happened, I got what I call a divine download. I heard a voice that wasn’t my voice. It was a voice and this voice said, what if you didn’t get there in time, what if you had to call the police? What if you had to call the CPS? Because you’re using? What if she was taken away from you, what if she went into foster care? And then the worst question of all, what if she ended up Never knowing you? But she was just like you and I sat back.

And it just shook me to the core. It was like a snap. I saw the possible future, that if I didn’t change things now, this wasn’t just hurting me. This was hurting my family and my daughter, possibly not just in this moment, but for life. So I made a decision, I said I’m going to quit three things. I’m going to quit drugs, my marriage, and my job. Because once I quit drugs and I gain weight, I don’t feel credible anymore. So I had no idea how I was going to do it. You know like so many times in life like you really don’t know, but you know, it’s the right step. And in the modeling and acting industry that had taught me to fake it until you make it.

But at this moment, I needed to fake it until you can make it if you know what I’m talking about. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I can’t do this. And I was so embarrassed, you know, I really I qualified to get help like Narcotics Anonymous or something. But anyone you want to know. And when we need help, we need a mindset shift. We need mentorship, we need somebody to show us the way. So it was like, Okay, well, what can I do. Because the cravings are a hellacious palette, it was like 10 years of getting rid of this habit.

The toxins in my body and I was doing it cold turkey, like cold turkey. I just stopped which, by the way, I don’t recommend if you are someone. Your love is going through this, help them get help. Don’t do it by yourself. But for me, this was my journey, but I knew I needed help. So I needed to get healthy. I was very physically still unhealthy, so I hired a trainer. And I hired Tom the trainer, he was tall, six to Italian, good looking, his muscles had muscles like, you know, it was like, Okay. I’m not gonna miss one workout.

I was highly motivated if you’re talking about. But it was really the first time that like, somebody reflected something completely different to me. And he gave me kudos not for being skinny, but for being strong and not for skipping meals. But for eating the right meals and so through his support and you know, doing what I loved. While I always loved exercise, you know, you wouldn’t know that. I actually had a passion for health and fitness, but I did. So I started to take care of myself. And at that moment, everything changed. I needed a job and he said, Well, you’re pretty good at this. Why don’t you think about being a trainer?

So I was like, okay, and within four months of knowing each other. Tom and I opened up our own personal training studio. And it was called Beyond Fitness, Personal Training in northern San Diego and we were an instant hit. Like we were packed, we were booked and it was like, Okay, finally, you know. I can just have my body the way it was meant to be and just be healthy. But I had a new problem. My new problem was that I was still hiding. Because here I am supposed to be a model of health and fitness. And just six months ago, I was doing drugs. Like what if my clients found out? You know, it’s interesting, because life will give us this like problem solution. Oh, new problem solution. A real problem just kind of gives us these challenges,

Right, which are actually gifts. If you know how to see them that way, I was terrified that my clients would know that I was using drugs. But a little bit of my story seeped out to one of my clients. She made this powerful connection and she said, I get it. Like you weren’t addicted to food, you were addicted to drugs, but addictions, addiction. Which is why you have so much compassion for people like me. And I never thought that you see when we share our story from the heart. We share our authenticity, our audience, our friends. Or whoever’s listening will make their own connections, things we couldn’t possibly dream of. And all we have to do is show up and be authentic and share from the heart and obviously, I was not in it anymore.

I had already cleared all that out of you know, my life. So I was really communicated from a place of victory. She took my story to her church. And she shared it with everybody and something incredible happened. It doubled our business. All the people came because Pamela’s facts tell but stories sell. Like if you’re in business or you have your own story. That story shares that know like and trust factor and our mind are already pre-wired to share stories. Because human beings have been doing it for over 150,000 years. Like that’s how we passed on history. That’s how we passed on lessons back in the caveman days. So she brought all this new business to us. And it was like, Oh my gosh, this is incredible.

I had no idea how healing it would be how freeing it would be. And honestly, if somebody would have told me. You’re going to tell your story and it’s going to bring you business, I said, you’re smoking crack. But that’s what happened. And then I started to feel this inner shift like okay, I think I’m going to go back to speaking and onstage. But I’m not going to be an actor. I’m not going to be a model and I’m being myself and I want to share my story and help women. Embrace the beauty of their body at any size. So I started studying storytelling with the best in the business. I had already studied and been through Tony Robbins coaching programs and Ben. The coach through his programs.

So I started studying storytelling with both Easton and Roger love and Brendon Burchard. And Chalene Johnson and all these fantastic people who speak globally. That’s when I started to feel the shift like, wow, okay, um. I feel it pivot to move away from fitness and actually to help people tell their story on stage. It made so much sense when you look at the timeline of my life. And the things that I was learning along the way.

It was just a perfect combination of experience. Street credit and then just having that passion for women on stage and knowing what it feels like to be embarrassed. You don’t want to get on stage or tell your story. Because you don’t want to be humiliated or you don’t want to be judged. Like I get it. But I also get what a gem it is. It’s a hidden gem that you have, that can build connections, like nobody’s business. Especially if you’re doing business online.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. My gosh, thank you so much for sharing your story. That’s unreal, I could feel all of it like you said. Individuals make their own connections to certain stories. Yeah, I definitely felt that as you were talking about. I mean, it’s just, it’s crazy because we all respond differently to rejection. It’s such a fear ingrained in our minds and then we have that trauma. And then it’s like, how do we deal with this drama? Well, and trying to find different ways to sort of cope with it. And sometimes we don’t have the best options. We don’t make the correct decisions.

And this is why addictions happen because they fill the void temporarily. Never works full term. Absolutely works and you know, thank you, again, so much for sharing that. And so at that moment, after you decided to make that change. What do you think was the hardest thing to battle there? Like, what would be a tip there, save somebody? Somebody is facing this at this very moment and it’s weird. Because it was last week that I got a call from this attorney and he was saying, He’s like, you know. I’ve been struggling with addiction for a long time.

And he’s like, actually, lawyers. We struggle a lot with things like cocaine, and nobody talks about it. You know, especially through law school and even just through work and all these things, and like. Nobody talks about it and I’m like, Well. First of all, you need to free yourself from that. And know that it’s okay and you’re not alone. You know, that’s first and foremost. So I love that you’re talking about it and that this is an authentic thing that people go through. Not just in the modeling industry, but across finance law. 

Holley Mignosi
Nurses, doctors, I mean, my clients that come to me to help me, help them craft their story. The things that they share with me are very personal and private. Then I show them how you can craft a story that actually showcases the lesson. And so you’re sharing from the place of victory, not from the place of victimhood. So you stand on your story, not in your story. And so usually, it’s like, if you want to call the problem addiction, there were actually a few villains in my story.

Another one was perfectionism. Yep, another one was doing anything to be loved. You know, I wanted that acceptance from others, even though it costs me my health. When you’re sharing a story from the place of crafting a story to share with others. My first tip is don’t make any person, the villain. So the villain in my story is not my boss. Actually, I’m very appreciative. I’m very appreciative for what he taught me. He taught me so many amazing things. And that was just one thing that he taught me. But the real villain is my own battle. This needs me inside to be accepted to be perfect. And to not have a standard for myself, like, I’m not willing to do this, to get your love.

So that speaks volumes, not just when it comes to addiction, but in relationships. You know, setting those boundaries, in work environment and personal relationships all over the board. We have to have high standards for ourselves for our own self-care. And really be clear with others. I also want to just say one thing about the modeling and acting industry. Because I don’t want to speak badly about it. It taught me so many amazing things. And you know that now I’m carrying into my business helping entrepreneurial women share their stories on stage. For some women, it’s actually the reverse. They’re extremely thin and they don’t feel good enough because they’re not curvy enough. So, you know, my story is about perfectionism, It’s about addiction.

It’s about embracing your physicality, no matter what shape or size it is. As long as you’re being the healthiest person, but also secrets. You know, addiction and secrets go hand in hand. And if you’re someone that’s listening or you know, someone who’s using, you know. The drug or the alcohol is not actually the problem. You know, they’re medicating from something else that’s happening. So I would say, you know, no, you’re not alone, like you said, number one, and reach out and get help. And the first thing you’ll be feeling perhaps is shame and that’s normal. Shame stopped me from telling my story, shame, made me cry,. Shaking the first time, I told my story in front of others.

And I was afraid to be judged, I was afraid that I would be seen as a horrible mom. But that actually is good, that I have shame. That means I care, but we don’t want to keep it. Like, feel it and let go of it, yes, release it. Yes. And what I found over and over with the experts that I work with. Is in the beginning, when they tell their story, you know. They’re afraid they’re trembling, they may be tearful. But after they share it a couple times and you’re in a safe environment. Which is what I provide with my coaching programs, then you get your strength reflected back to you. Your vulnerability, the brilliance of your vulnerability, your willingness to take a risk. My willingness to leave, drugs, you know, marriage, and my job all at one time.

Like, I look back and go. Wow, just doing one of those things by themselves, is extremely difficult. Oh, yeah, I can’t believe I did all three at a time when I was even detoxing, like. The human spirit is so strong and the last thing I would say is find your why. Find your why, like, my daughter was my why and she knows it. Now she’s gonna be almost my team and she hears me tell the story on shows. She hears me tell it from the stage. And actually, on the first time, she heard me tell it from the stage. I had her come with me when I was speaking and just take some pictures from the back of the room. It was a small group, it was like under 100.

And after I told the story and I started answering some questions, you know. My daughter came over to me and she was kind of standing on the side. I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. And she looked at me and I looked at her and I was like, are you okay? She was like, I just want to hug you. So she ran up to me and right there at that moment, it was like. The most incredible healing moment for myself, for my daughter, for our lineage, for our legacy.

And I believe that and that wasn’t scripted. I wasn’t like, okay, at the right time, you know. Cry a little and come on over and of course. But I think at that moment, it was also really powerful for the audience to see something in real-time of the healing process. That can continue to happen and she’s such an important part of my journey. And you know, she was three and she’s my wife, she’s my motivation.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s incredible. Holley, thank you so much for sharing all of that. And how to basically turn your vulnerability into strength. Which is the hardest thing, the hardest thing to do. So I do know a few people who’ve gone through addictions and actually still struggling with it. And it’s very hard from the outside looking in to help them, for example, like you were saying, The medicating part. It’s like, how do you help somebody?

I know that they have to do it themselves. But how do you help them to release those emotions so that they can stop utilizing that thing? What would be your best piece of advice in terms of that? Because I think that that’s a huge struggle, you know, in that it has to get released. But how do you help them release? Do you know how you do it? It’s such a big question in my book, personally, from people that I know in my own family,

Holley Mignosi
Well, first, let me say I’m not a doctor, I’m not a therapist. So I’m not going to give medical advice. But I can give you a suggestion from my heart, right, as I bet on the other side, right. And what you can do is, number one, love them when they’re being their best self. Love them, even more, when they’re down and they’re not and they’re making the wrong choices. Provide that safe space of unconditional love and have consistency. Continue to speak to them, that they can do more, be more, have more. And that this isn’t who they really are and to mirror to them, their greatness. Mirror to them all that they could be.

And you may start to create a little crack in that outer wall. That outer shell of those old beliefs, right. Because one of the most driving forces in our human behavior is to be consistent with who we think we are. So if you can mirror them, you know. How you remember them when they were a kid. Bright, shiny, joyful, determined, curious, passionate, playful. All of these qualities that maybe they haven’t been in touch with for a while. And if you can mirror them.

Who they are and what are their dreams. And get them back in touch with all that they want to create and then, of course, professional help. There’s really no substitute for professional help where they can really get support. In that way, whether it’s working with a facility or if you go a different route, like through hypnosis. I mean, there’s all different routes that you can take. But love them, have a great space for them, be consistent, and mirror to them their greatness.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s fantastic. Thank you so much. Relax, sometimes just you know. When you see somebody struggling, you just want to be like them. You almost wish you could take away their pain and you can’t, right. Because it’s got to be their choice, they’ve got to be ready. And they’ve got to be able to do it. Because they mean, you could say it over and over and over until they’re ready. Nobody can make that change for them. You know. But there is hope, which is incredible, which is credible. I love your story so much and what I love even more is that you are vulnerable, you are okay to be vulnerable. And I know it was probably extremely terrifying at first.

Holley Mignosi
Yeah, now it’s easy peasy. Now I just tell the story. And I know that I’m going to share something and that someone’s going to hear it. Someone’s going to listen, someone’s going to feel like oh my gosh. I can see myself in some of the things you went through, maybe not exactly. But some parts of it are going to resonate with someone. And it’s going to give them that hope and that inspiration to take that action to stop hiding. Or whatever that thing is whether you know, it’s quit drugs. Whether it’s perfectionism or whether it’s stand up for yourself.

I easily could have told him, you know, that’s not right. This is my body. I’m healthy. And I’m perfect just the way I am. But that wasn’t my road, because I think I was actually always meant to be a performance stage and speaking coach. And that experience gave me an incredible not just story to tell. But a deep level of compassion. A deep level of compassion for others who are struggling with their own story.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s incredible. I mean, I love how it happened on accident, kind of where one of your clients like she made that connection. You did it? You’re like, no, no, no.

Holley Mignosi
The funny thing is, too is when I started to feel that higher calling to learn more about storytelling and be a speaking coach. And pulled together my history, there was so much resistance, I was so resistant. Oh my gosh, imposter syndrome. I was like the queen, you know of imposter syndrome, I was like, I can’t tell my story. Oh, no, no, I can’t help others tell their story. Like I left stage. I’m not going back there again. And then I kept feeling it. I kept feeling the calling. Yes, you will see that person on stage. You can help them and I would have these thoughts, gosh, if they would just not do that with their body. If they would just be more open with their body or when they make their offer on stage, If they would not put their hands up.

Which is communication to say stop if they would actually go like this. You’re just saying Come with me, be with me and you know. Heart-centered and all of these little body language things. I would start seeing it, and then that I’d have that inner fight going on. Like No. I’m not good enough and then eventually, it got to the place where like. Okay, I just have to explore this. Let me just see what happens if I dip my toe in a little bit. And so if anyone’s listening to this or you’re listening to this thinking, yeah, there other things I want to do in life. There’s other things I want to be and I’m kind of conflicted. You know, am I good enough?

Am I smart enough, am I bold enough? And I just think life is a playground. Life is a playground where we’re meant to take on the adventure. Because as adults, I think we get so used to being right. And so used to know, like, this is what I’m going to do. This is how it’s going to result like we have that level of certainty. Then we stop taking chances. We stop taking risks. That’s not true and that’s where the adventure and the excitement and feeling alive.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s so incredible. I mean, I just adore your transformation so much because it’s just incredible. And it takes great strength like you said to do all three I can’t imagine what were some of your tips to get through that. I’m hearing you speak. I’m just like in awe, like. How the hell did she do? Yeah, like what?

Holley Mignosi
Yeah, I can’t even begin to explain. Well, the first step was decide. The first step in any transformation, Decide. D means of the side is killed, right. So I’m going to cut off, I’m going to kill any other option. And second, have a why. It wouldn’t have happened without my why. My reason was saving my daughter’s future so that she didn’t have to grow up with a mom who used. She could grow up with a mom who is healthy and happy. And in a good relationship and loved her job. Like I was role modeling the complete opposite on all levels and so she was my why. So first decide, no matter what decision you’re working with. Decide that that’s what you’re going to do and cut off any other option. Second, find your why because that’s your motivation.

Even in fitness, I’ll have clients, right, like when I was when we had a brick and mortar business. It was all about what’s your why and I would have clients that would come to me. And when all of a sudden they gained weight. Like they had that physical change that women go through and all of a sudden. They gained 1020 pounds, they don’t know how to get it off. So what’s your why? Will my why’s all of a sudden I gain weight and I want to get it off. I had one client and she was Gosh, we worked out together for probably about five or six years. So consistent. Only once a year, she’d go to Hawaii. And when she would go to Hawaii, she would drop an additional 10 pounds. Then she’d come back and she’d gained that 10 pounds back.

Why? Because that’s her why. Her Why was I want to be in a swimsuit. I want to feel great. Even better on the beach. So what’s your why so decide, find your why cuz that’s your motivation to move towards pleasure and away from pain. And then be consistent, just be consistent with your actions. Then the fourth thing is set up an environment where the people won’t let you back down. So I had to quit working in the modeling and acting industry. Because I knew that environment, I would be too tired to teams again, way too tempted. It was all around me, it would be easy access, so I had to leave that environment. And then really leaving the job was about creating a different environment.

That’s why I actually left that and went over to health and fitness because I need to get healthy. I’m not healthy physically, mentally, emotionally. And I knew if I got my body healthy, it would help my mind and I can detox faster all of that. But I didn’t know that it was going to lead me into a new career, which is pretty cool. So decide, find your why. Make sure that you know you have that consistent action. And then set up an environment of people that have the same values reflect you. Your greatness, and won’t let you quit.

Amazing. I love that the five steps to transformation. Yeah, that’s it. And then teach it like whatever you learned. If you want to take it to the next level. Whatever you learn from that experience, share it, teach it. Because when you share it and give it to others, something magical just flows through you. And you become like a channel, a vessel if you will. For that transformation to inspire others and it helps you be consistent as well.

What Would Holley Older Self Tell her Younger Self

Pamela Bardhi
I love it, Holley. And now I have a question for you like what would your older self tell your younger self, based on what you know now? I’m sure there’s a lot but if you had to pick one thing, what’s the most important?

Holley Mignosi
Yeah, this is a tough one. Because one might think that I might say don’t use drugs, but I wouldn’t have the story. I wouldn’t have the life experience, I wouldn’t be so committed to the path that I’m on now. So could I have learned that lesson without drugs? I don’t know the answer to that, I truly don’t know, I don’t think it was really just about drugs, I really think it was about perfectionism. Yeah, and not accepting myself. And so I would probably tell my younger self two things. Number one, I would tell my younger self, all your dreams, goals and desires are going to come true. It may not happen the way you think it’s going to. But they are. So stay on your path and have confidence in yourself.

And then that second thing, I would tell myself is while you’re going through hard times. While you’re stressed out while you’re feeling down, while you’re going through something that’s really challenging. Be kind to other people be kind, I could have handled things much better. With my daughter’s dad, when we divorced, I was cold, I had to cut everything off. I was very cold, I was possibly very harsh, I was going through my own stuff, hurt people, hurting people. We know that saying so I think I would just tell myself to just be a little kinder. And be a little more compassionate, give people their space. Also maybe talk to my daughter at her level of what was going on. Because we didn’t really have a good conversation with our daughter.

And so from her perspective and that’s something that, you know. When you’re going through your own problems, you rarely consider points of view. Other people’s points of view, you rarely consider how this is affecting them, how is this affecting them? How is this affecting my husband at the time houses affecting our three-year-old? If I could have had the wisdom to sit down and tell her. You know, we’re going to go through all these changes as a family. And things are going to look very different.

But mommy and daddy love you very much. And that love is always going to be there. Even though our family is going to shift and change a little bit. And everything we’re doing, we’re doing for you and we may not do it. You know, we might make mistakes. But if we are making mistakes, and you want to share something with us. Doors open, always open or I could speak for myself, you know. Please talk to me about anything.

I think she was going through her own challenges. You know, as I was quitting my job leaving my marriage, and detoxing, I don’t think it was very present. No, yes, now I am, you know and we have a very open dialogue about this. Now she and I, she’s a very old soul. She’s so good at listening, she’s very empathic, she feels other people’s feelings. And she’s just too bright a light and so now Yeah, we share everything. But I think I would say treat people with kindness.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you so much for sharing that you’re so incredible. And again, thank you for your story. Just an absolute Rockstar and just straight from the heart and I could feel it all just incredible. And so I would love to know, what are you up to in the next like six to 12 months, like, what’s going on in Holley world?

Holley Mignosi
Thanks for not saying Hollywood. So I am doing a Facebook challenge, which I’m running through my Facebook group if you are a woman entrepreneur. And you want to start speaking to sell your products and services. If you want to speak virtually, maybe it’s on a podcast like I’m doing here. Or maybe you want to be on a big stage or TEDx or maybe it’s just something, you’ve always been afraid of. And you want to tackle, you know, that challenge and learn how to share your story in a way that positions you as vulnerable and credible. Then you’re going to want to come into my Facebook group. It is called shine on stage and it would be my honor to support you and to help you gain confidence on camera.

I haven’t the competence to share your story and how do you not fake it, like. How you come from a place of real authenticity. And craft a message that is powerful in itself and creates transformation from others. So I’m really excited about the challenge. I also have a body language checklist. So maybe you want to use body language as something, like a tool that you could use to be a better communicator. You can download my 15 hypnotic body language tips. That can make you a more charismatic speaker and more persuasive speaker, so for that. You would just go to holleymignosi.com. And I think we’ll have the link for them.

Pamela Bardhi
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Holly, thank you so much for sharing that. And then for anybody to connect with you in general, where can they all find you?

Holley Mignosi
Inside shine on stage, you can get me for real there. In-person, that’s the best place there. And then also, I have a website, of course, but if you really want to connect with me in person. Jump into shine on stage, send me a pm in messenger. I’m a real person. I’ll connect, I’ll respond. And I would love to support you on your journey as well. So it would be an honour. Thank you Pamela for the opportunity to share all that.

Pamela Bardhi
You are amazing. Holly, thank you so much for being here sharing your story, your tips, your advice, my God, like you have blessed all the listeners. Today’s thank you so so much. I appreciate you.

Holley Mignosi
And I appreciate you too. Thank you for creating this amazing platform for people like myself to come in and share inspiration and to create more transformation in the world. You are a gift so thank you.

Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my incredible interview with the amazing Holley Mignosi.