Hanneke Antonelli Shares Her Unique Journey Using Mindset & Manifestation to Uplevel in All Areas of Life

Pamela Bardhi
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of underdog. Today I have an incredible guest here with me. Hanneke How are you?

Hanneke Antonelli
Hi Pamela. I am so excited to be here with you today. I’m doing great so I feel very lucky and grateful to be here with you today. Thank you so much for having me.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you so much for being here. You’ve been a rock star in my world for quite a long time and I’ve had the privilege of being on your podcast and now here we are now.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yeah, exactly exactly.

Pamela Bardhi
So on my podcast, I always start off with the most loaded question. Known to man which is what inspired you on your journey to where you are today. Because you have such a tremendous story. I just can’t wait to get into it.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yes Yeah, so I think life happened that’s what inspired me to do this but no. So I had just pretty severe depression in my teens and I was put on medication and then I went to university. And I’m pretty sure that like University lifestyle you don’t eat properly and you’re consuming a little bit too much alcohol probably. Wasn’t really working with the medicine and that really threw me into a very bad downward spiral. To the point where I had to, unfortunately, be put in a psychiatric ward over a weekend while they adjusted my medicine. And so while I was in this Ward I really just had this epiphany of I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be in this mental state for the rest of my life.

And I’m going to do everything that I can to get better and to heal myself. So I went on to do a lot of personal development. I’ve worked with a lot of coaches, therapists counselors over the years. And so through all that work, I got better pretty quickly about a year. Or so and I moved to the UK where I landed this job on Wall Street and it was such a fun job at 23. You got a company credit card and I was like whoa I made it. I’m here and then pretty quickly I was like no I really honestly this isn’t for me. This isn’t who I am, it’s not really aligning with my strengths and so through. I hired another coach. Through working with her I realized what I need to complete like do.

A 180 here and it’s been when I had already made my husband and I moved to the United States. I was then working in New York City and still on Wall Street and I was going to quit. I’m going to start my own Pilates business, I didn’t know what I was doing like that. When you work in corporate it takes you quite a while to get out of that mindset. Now of course I look back I’m like you silly girl. But anyway it’s all part of the journey. It’s all the things that shape you because all of the mistakes that I’ve made. All of the knowledge that I learned while building that first business I know use in my coaching business. So how I ended up starting my coaching business is I didn’t want to become a YouTube sensation.

I didn’t want to open a brick-and-mortar, I wanted flexibility and freedom. It’s also pretty burnt out at that point, I didn’t really see a way that I was gonna be able to scale this of course now, I look back. I’m like there are so many ways to get a girlfriend now. But anyway, I was over it, but I decided what was going to be next for me. And I had so many ideas and I landed on I really want to actually give this gift back to people of what coaching did with me. Because when I really sit back, coaching saves my life. It’s not just a very dramatic thing to say, but it’s truly dead.

And so I was like you know what, I’m going to ask my coach, whether she thinks I would be good at this. So she was like, Yeah, absolutely, you’re proof that it works, so go for it. And so how I became a business coach. My niche picked me and they always tell you this in coaching schools. You’re gonna find that you attract certain people and so it just sort of happened, I mean, I love business, I love brainstorming.

I worked on Wall Street, I’ve got a business degree, I grew up with an accountant for a dad. So these things just kind of come naturally to me and then I absolutely love working with my clients and overcoming them. The things that might be blocking them their blind spots just getting out of their own way. And really getting down to business and building their dreams. So that is me in a nutshell.

Pamela Bardhi
I love it oh my gosh your story has so many important elements and she just peruses through them like it’s absolutely nothing. The Wall Street no big deal.

Hanneke Antonelli
I know I was on a podcast the other day and the guy was like wow, he pulled me through. When you’re telling your own story you’re like well that’s just kind of what happened. So there were a lot of twists and turns. I moved countries twice, actually three times. Because my visa expired once and I had to go back and it’s a big rigmarole.

So I’ve had to start from scratch multiple times and reinvent myself in different cultures. And I mean you can relate a little bit I think to Pamela like with your background. It’s interesting as an immigrant in a country, even if I feel I’m an extremely privileged immigrant, right. I did speak the language when I moved here, I had the means to get the visas and all that to get here but still, it’s a huge learning curve.

Pamela Bardhi
It absolutely is. And I want to reel it back a little bit too on your story so were you born in South Africa.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yes, I schooled in South Africa University everything there. So in South Africa, you don’t borrow money from Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. You don’t get these ridiculous deals on your student loans. When you’re done you owe like commercial bank. Your student loan at the prime minus one percent. And so at that point in South Africa, we had high-interest rates. It was at seven and a half percent. This isn’t gonna work, I think I’m gonna go and do this, two-year working holiday visa thing in the UK. Because that was a thing back then that they gave to all of the Commonwealth countries. So that I can work even then the exchange rates. Because I’m gonna work the exchange right and work in a stronger currency and pay off the student loan.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s awesome. So question for you. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Hanneke Antonelli
I actually wanted to be a ballet dancer and I have two very creative brothers. And I think after my parents kind of looked at them, they’re like, you are not doing that. Even though they’re both super successful. Like one of them is an artist in South Africa. He’s made a really good living from the South, the other one works in London. They’re very successful as people but I think as a woman my dad had. You need to be able to take care of yourself. And so let’s go do something practical so that you have a practical skill to back you up.

So when I brought up the idea that I wanted to become a ballet instructor. My mom and my dad were like no, let’s do maybe something else. And then I was going to be an actuarial scientist for like a hot minute. That was a guidance counselor’s idea for me and then after that. I remember when I was 17, watching this movie with Jenna Elfman and Edward Norton, and Ben Stiller. Called skeaping the fight and she had this really big corner office. And she was definitely in New York City. I’m gonna be here one day and so that was like, okay, go get your finance degree and let’s go.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s awesome. See, it always correlates as a kid with certain things that you envision. But you visualize that like you went to the UK. And then you came to New York?

Hanneke Antonelli
And I remember six months before moving to New York City. I never had any plans of living in New York. Like that, the US was never on my radar, like the rest of the world where, you know. So you never really think, I will live there one day, I remember being in New York for my very first visit. And I was crossing the street and I was looking down this massive Street. In London, the streets aren’t that wide, the buildings aren’t that tall and I was like, we’re at that stage. The buildings aren’t that tall.

They’re getting a little taller now. Anyway, so I’m looking down the street and I was like. I’m gonna live here and so six months later, I was living in New York. It’s interesting how you visualize these things and then you’ll come back to what you really want. Because I wanted to become a ballet instructor. And then I kind of stayed on this other path, which was good and I’m so grateful for that journey. I came back to fitness in the end, and now it’s time to move into something else.

So yeah, life is interesting. And I always love hearing people’s stories when you’re sitting with friends, and they’ll be like, Oh, yeah. When I was working at and they’ll name a random job and you’re like, What? You work there, tell me how that happened. So just having these conversations. And life’s twists and turns aren’t funny.

Pamela Bardhi
It really is. And you had said that in the UK so you hired a coach? Yes. Yeah, yeah. It was amazing and she helped you manifest your husband.

Hanneke Antonelli
We had such a good time and he could really see that I just had to talk. So he recommended this thing called life coaching to me, which back then was 15 years ago. This wasn’t a thing like nobody knew what it was and so I went back to London and I found a coach and it’s the turning point. Her name was surely and she happened to be from South Africa. And so I started working with her, she just immediately gave me. So many things that I didn’t get from therapy, where there were more skill sets. When I look back now, it definitely was a little bit more, like the CBT model, like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

But then she also actually went into the three principles, which are all things that I draw from when I’m working with people these days. And how I created this thing in the app. Devil project called, the up-level formula to help you to sink into where is my mind today? How do I align things to then get what I want? But anyway, with her I actually hired her originally, also. Because I was having boy trouble at 23 years old and to the point. Where lies, the bad boy that I had looked someone from four years ago, behave the same, they look the same now too. So it was just yeah, that’s how it all worked. And so she just helped me to make better decisions.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s incredible that you had gone to that prior to and that you said, your coaching saved your life and found you. So that’s amazing. And I also want to thank you so much for sharing your early years, too. Which is something that a lot of people don’t talk about.

And the reason why I started this podcast of like suffering from different things like depression. Which nobody wants to talk about the struggles of that, you know, as a teenager and you find yourself in the psych ward. How and you were like, Listen, I want to make this decision to change. Yeah, what were some of the steps that you took? Because I guarantee you there’s somebody listening that either know they’re going through it. Or somebody they know is going through it? What would be your advice in that respect, based on your experience?

Hanneke Antonelli
Yeah, so based on my experience, I never once asked for help. I think that’s like the number one thing and I was lucky, I had this friend and I am so grateful for her, I had been going to her house and using her as the therapist. I have seen this with people now. Since that is where you will show up and you will use this friend. Or your friends and family as your emotional soundboards and your main tools. They’re not trying to help you, you’re not doing your relationships any favors.

So go see a professional and I was lucky enough that a friend cared enough for me that she took me by the shoulders. One afternoon she was like Hanneke, I cannot anymore, can you please, you need to go get help. And that moment I was a little taken aback. Of course, it hurt a little bit. But to this day, I am so grateful that she did that. So if you have a friend that is constantly coming at you. I actually just recently said this to someone. Because I think they were kind of trying to use me for free coaching.

And so every time they would show up and be in my presence, they would be in panic mode. I have a lot of capacity to hold space for people even in my personal life. But it became a pattern and I just was like, well you’re either gonna have to book in for a session with me. Or you need to go see a therapist and I can tell you right now what I’m seeing, you need a therapist first.

So if you’re listening and you’re on the receiving end of that. There is a way to say this in a very kind way, I just did it very matter-of-factly. I was a little bit more discreet when I was saying this to my friend. So ask for help or tell the person that you can see who is in pain. Help them to get help, make it okay for them to go, get help suggested to them.

But ultimately if you’re the person suffering from depression, you can get help, but you have to take that step. Nobody can do it for you and it is scary because I think the biggest fear is like, Oh shit, what are they going to find? I was 17 when they diagnosed me with depression, my depression comes from anxiety. So managing my anxiety and knowing. How to run a routine to ensure that I keep things I keep my mind and jack is super important. But these are all the skills that I kind of learned along the way. Because I decided I was going to take action and I was going to keep taking action. Even if it was hard and painful and sad.

And I also just want to say this, it’s not going to be in business isn’t like this life isn’t. It’s not like a helmet, you’re climbing and it’s like or the bottom of the hill and you’re driving straight up the hill, It’s like the bottom of the hill. And oh, guess what you kind of misjudged these hills for hills that are sitting back to back to back. So you’re gonna be down in a valley again, and then you’re going to move around, and then you’re going to go this way, and sideways and up. But it’s just trusting that process and I’m seriously just asking for help was the biggest thing.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that. But yes, I totally agree with you asking for help. Once you put it out there to the universe, all of a sudden, certain things start to flow your way. And you’re just like, Oh, just ask.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yeah, this is in the whoo world is like the saying if the quickest way to manifest anything is to just ask for it. Yes. And it really is that simple. Specifically Depending on personality types, etc. Like the second you ask something your network might just know someone and they will put you in contact. Yeah. And also what I’ve also realized through sharing this story and other vulnerable. More vulnerable stories throughout life. Is there always someone who can relate or who is going through a similar thing than you are. Or who is inspired by your story and I think that was the feedback overall about the optimal project. My book is like, it’s not just another business book with like, just a list of regurgitated business facts.

It’s my story, and it’s a lot more detailed. And we’re going in here today and I’m obviously doing that for good reason. Because I want you to go and read the book and get the lessons. But most of the feedback that I’ve gotten, because the story is so vulnerable. Is that people aren’t entrepreneurs they’re getting what they’re like.

Oh, my word like this helped me and that helped me. So when you show up with all your shit and your skeletons in the closet. And all the things that you don’t want people to see that you think they’re going to judge you for. That is when you actually are at your most impactful self and for some other reason we’ve all been taught to hide that and that’s not acceptable. So yeah, just be yourself, I think it also. Maybe you can relate to that I’ve just sort of gone. I don’t give a shit until this point anymore because I will go well, this isn’t my country.

You know, so who cares? I can be whatever here. But then my husband will joke with me and he’s like you are a United States citizen at this point. You gotta stop saying you people, it’s we people.

Pamela Bardhi
Love the kids. Thank you so much for sharing all of that honestly, it is truly a blessing to hear about your story and how you’re utilizing it to impact others. And truthfully, like, I’ve seen so many parallels between us. Because it was the same thing for me before this podcast. I was that person that was always the strong one, right? Like the one that’s not going to be vulnerable. That’s not going to I’m the resilient one. I’m like the tough one. And like doing something like this and sharing the story of the first time I was like.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yeah, and it’s not fun, It’s not easy, It’s not gonna be easy, It’s not gonna be polished. It’s not gonna be eloquent and it doesn’t matter. Yeah, I also want to say this. There is this misconception that we can either be strong, power through, don’t show your weaknesses, or you’re weak and vulnerable, and yada, yada, yada, yada. And there’s actually you can exist with both, you can be powerful and vulnerable. You can have your strengths shine and you will have certain weaknesses or things going on you. That’s maybe not so strong and it’s all welcome.

Pamela Bardhi
Yes, absolutely. Learning that vulnerability is actually a strength was a big one for me. Yes, absolutely a big one. I was like, yeah, cuz How are other people supposed to connect and I was like, this is the problem. Like people aren’t talking about this and then people feel disconnected because they’re like crap.

Hanneke Antonelli
My favorite thing is someone’s client comes to me, a potential client comes to me. That I call my business is just so different, my industry is just different. I’m like, No, it’s just relationships. Do you have something that someone else wants? And they’re gonna buy it from you? Yes. Okay, well then the business is good business. Their race is old, like the stuff that we’ve put in our head that’s making it so complicated and making us. So separate from everybody else and that can be, that’s hurtful and it can cause a lot of damage. And I’m not saying that you are not unique, you are unique. Absolutely. I can help you to run your business in your unique way. But your business isn’t so different that nobody can relate or help you.

Pamela Bardhi
Right? Amen to that and back to how you sort of started this coaching business, which I find so remarkable, so you want a six-figure job on wall street that tuning benefits.

Hanneke Antonelli
Right, a company apartment like you know just gooshie.

Pamela Bardhi
Things like you had the golden handcuffs and there’s a lot of people in this situation right now. That is listening or knowing somebody who is caught by those golden handcuffs. How did you break free from that and what were your first steps, because you went into a totally different realm?

Hanneke Antonelli
Oh yeah, I did it the way that I would advise you not to do, I overstayed my welcome at Wall Street. Where I was desperate to get out so I just got up one morning and quit literally that’s how it went. I thought about it for a week but I didn’t really know what I was going to do. Pilates was sort of an idea I think my first business plan in little air quotes. If I just made $100 a day I should be okay like you know $100.

Is a lot for certain people absolutely. But if you’re sitting where I was sitting then that’s like kind of not actually. Also just showing you how not big I was thinking at the time how desperate. I would just do anything to get out instead of really taking some time. But the first step that I did was I went back to what I really loved and enjoy when I was younger. And that was what I really loved moving my body, I love Pilates. I still do it even though I’m on wall street, I still make time to go and do that. So I’m going to do this. I’m going to become an instructor.

Because an instructor in London somewhere had noticed my form. And she was like if you ever thought about becoming an instructor because you’d be good. So I was like Oh okay, well that’s kind of nice, like the light student in the lightest class little validation and so I yeah. And then I just enrolled and I just started. I literally didn’t have a lot of guidance, but that’s my personality type. So my personality type is I need about 20% information and then I’ll take an action and I will go with it. And I’m gonna make a lot of mistakes and I’m gonna hit my head. A lot of bouncing around, which is why it’s good for me to work with a coach, but I’ll get there and that’s a drive that is just a nightly in me. I have a lot of grids.

So that’s like the first thing is just starting and really being honest with yourself is like what, what is your ideal life look like? Even asking yourself? How much money do I really need? You know, I think that’s why my $100 a day was at that time. The thing I was like, well, I kind of only really need this much and I will be fine.

And I’m not saying don’t dream big but sometimes we’re living under this false illusion that you need a $500,000 a year job. If you don’t like it, maybe you can just start being a little bit smarter with your money. And how you’re investing in and whether you’re spending it on things that you actually enjoy. Or what I was doing was just throwing my money at anything to make me happy. I was trying to buy happiness even though I wasn’t getting the fulfillment out of my daily life. So yeah, I don’t know whether that helps a lot.

Pamela Bardhi
I love it, I absolutely love it because there are a lot of people that are stuck in that situation where they’re not happy, but they’re bound by these handcuffs. And how do you break free and every story is so different and I’m very much like you where. I’m just like, let’s go see Yeah, well, I think I would. I wouldn’t advise either but that’s how I am.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yeah, no, absolutely. And we think that only Wall Street can pay you big bucks for certain industries. But I know certain artists and Pilates instructors and you know who else that is. Making really, really good money has an amazing impact. And so I would challenge you to really get good. You know, a part of my book is also talking about whatever you believe whatever you think you say. Those things are going to be your results, because what you focus on expands. So if you want a certain result, you have to adjust your beliefs, your feelings, your thoughts, and what you say. Because that’s going to influence how you act.

And I don’t remember what I can never remember the president that says, and I quote him so much, I really should tuck this up. But there’s a president that said. Only a fool will show up and do the same thing over and over and over again. Expecting different results, and I’m ad-libbing. And now, but you gotta take responsibility for how you’re acting?

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. And I love that you put your passion into purpose in turn that basically opened this coaching business. Because you didn’t have a book of business or any of that. You were just starting from scratch and for the entrepreneurs listening. Who are maybe involved in the startup or thinking about it, what would be your advice to them?

Hanneke Antonelli
Wow, okay, if you’re in a startup, if you’re just starting out, this is a hard one. Because you have so much to learn when you’re starting out. And you are also then you’re most susceptible, to be told it’s not possible and believe it because you’re doing something very risky. You’re doing something that you’re new at, so you’re a little insecure. So I’ll tell this story when I just started my Pilates business apps were starting to come out. And I was like, man, it was really cool because I was doing Pilates DVDs and I’d like it was so fun. So I speak to this friend of mine who’s a software engineer, and like the guru at that time, a person that I know who is really great at his field.

So he must know the future of the staff and could be giving me good advice, so I ran by him. I really want an app. Do you think I should get an app? And he was like, you know, I don’t think apps are going to be around for much longer. Because the websites are getting so quick and uploading. And so I never pursued my app, because I gave my power to someone who I thought was the guru. But my initiative wanted to go do that. Now, this is a very, like a silly example, I’m not angry with my friend or anything like that. But I’m simply telling this story, to remind you to not give the keys to your business to someone else.

It’s the same with like, I’m starting to have a problem with $20 networking events. That insight and bring a business struggle and we’ll brainstorm it for you. Who’s in this room? I don’t know if it’s in that room? Like, what kind of business entrepreneur are they number one. Number two is like I’d like to have some more security in. Where I’m sharing my ideas and who I’m sharing with. So I know when we’re starting out, you know, our budgets are small and all of that. But really find yourself a key group of people who believe in you who believe in your idea.

And who can give you feedback in a way that is encouraging and not discouraging you from moving forward? Because your aunt Matilda, I’ll be like, You’re stupid. That’s never gonna work. No, I’m not giving you my inheritance. And then you’re not gonna go and create the next million-dollar thing. Because aunt Matilda doesn’t know anything about the industry that you’re going in.

Pamela Bardhi
I love it. Thank you so much for sharing that. Yeah, no, I mean, it’s so interesting, because the startup entrepreneurs are always my favorite, because they’re like, What do I do? How do I build the book of business? Especially when it’s a business? Like coaching. Where? Yeah, so long sales process, there’s all these things and it’s like, how do I say real estate. Like a real estate agent? The average sales process is roughly three months.

Hanneke Antonelli
Right? Yeah. And that Yeah. Or longer, building your book of business and I think this is the other thing, like being patient. Be patient and give yourself a lot of grace and celebrate all of the small little wins. Like the small little things that are going to keep you going. And to your point of like where do you start business relationships. So just start with the people that you know already, that might have people. That’s how everyone started. They didn’t start on Instagram. I had zero followers at one point, and they were making money. So how do they do that?

Pamela Bardhi
Right. Amen. And I love that you talk about the formula and the up-level project as well. Because that book came out recently and any other advice. I know you’ve been dropping gems throughout the whole interview, other pieces of advice, we don’t want to spoil the book. But any advice from the book that you would encourage anyone to listen to?

Hanneke Antonelli
It’s that funny. The other day I started reading, I was like, Oh, yeah, I should take my own advice on this one. So let’s see, actually, this is the biggest one. And it’s one of the later chapters and it’s about like. Every day connecting to your dream, every day thinking into why does it kind of feel like well. How excited are you going to be? What are you going to say to people? Because you need that, sometimes it can be months before you have a big win. And especially now we’re kind of coming out of the pandemic, like depression or whatever we’re gonna call it. The economic recovery is a little slow.

So you may get a lot of no’s and, by the way, you’re gonna get another nose. You will always get more nose than yeses, that’s just gonna be the thing. So you know, because conversion rates are, they’re not 100%. If you’re 100%, converting, then your prices are too low. Or please call me because you’re doing something amazing. But so definitely, the more you can sink into what you’re working towards and keep your eye on what am I building this for? What’s my why behind this? How awesome is it going to be, how many people Am I going to impact with this, how proud Am I going to be? That’s really going to give you a lot of energy. And it will most likely also give you the steps of how to get there.

Pamela Bardhi
Love it, love it. And now I have a personal question for you

Hanneke Antonelli
Haven’t been personal at all, like, you know, hey, go for it.

What Would Hanneke Older Self Tell Her Younger Self

Pamela Bardhi
And this is my favorite question. What would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know now?

Hanneke Antonelli
Be patient and have more fun at the moment. Stuff we’re living for, like the future.

Pamela Bardhi
Same thing for me, I was always looking at the next thing and the next thing and the next thing and that kept me so out of the moment. And I was encouraged to be present, Pam? Because the present is present for a reason.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yes. It is.

Pamela Bardhi
Amen. I love that. And now question, what are you up to now, what’s up? What’s up in your world? Like, what are you up to next, because you are a powerhouse.

Hanneke Antonelli
Yeah, there’s lots of stuff going on. And I’m having so much fun. So number one. I’m doing a lot of little book events. Unfortunately, the sad thing is that I haven’t been able to have in-person events for the launch of the party, so I did a bunch of online things. But now I’ve actually really liked doing them. So we’re continuing to do that. I also have a virtual and an online retreat coming up in the fall. And then after that, I’m actually launching the companion course to the app level project.

Again, this will be the third time that it runs. It’s called the up-level program where I go very deep on the principles. Some of what we discussed today to help entrepreneurs really uplevel their resiliency. Their leadership skills and get really clear on where they’re going and all of that. So if anybody’s interested to do get in touch, and oh, you can find the book if you’re interested in the book. The up-level Project book.com is how you will find that.

Pamela Bardhi
You are a rock star. Thank you so much for that and where can everybody find you.

Hanneke Antonelli
You know, I hang on Instagram I hang out on LinkedIn quite a bit as well. So you can find me there. The name is a little bit weird to pronounce and spell it’s a tonic and to Navy. But if you can’t remember that just the up-level Project book.com is going to redirect you to my website. So you land on my website when you go to the app level Project book.com and then you can find me all over the web from there.

Pamela Bardhi
You are amazing, my friend, thank you so much for being here today. Being the runner in the light that you are, I’m so excited to see what you do in the world and just see your impact continue. You’re just a rock star