Brian Bachand Story of Truth, Purpose, and Evolution

Kevin Harrington
Hi, I’m Kevin Harrington, an original Shark from the hit television show Shark Tank and you’re listening to the underdog podcast

Pamela Bardhi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of underdog today. I have an incredible guest here with me, Brian, how are you my friend?

Brian Bachand
I am great, Pamela, it’s such a joy to be with you.

Pamela Bardhi
It’s such an honor to have you. I know our first conversation, I was like blown away. I was like, oh my god, I love Brian. He is so dynamic. So awesome, I just can’t wait to get into his story. So I always start out with the most loaded question known to man, which is what inspired you on your journey to where you are today, my friend?

Brian Bachand
Well, I love that question. And again, it’s a joy to be here with you and your community. We’re both native Bostonians. So that’s a special bond as well. I think truly what has inspired me to be on the journey where I’m at now is owning my story and sharing my story of who I am. And bringing my gifts together to help inspire others to live their life aligned with their professional goals and their personal goals to make the greatest impact in the world.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. And so, question, what did you want to be when you grew up as a kid? What was your dream?

Brian Bachand
You know, when I was a kid, what I wanted to be was a teacher. I wanted to be a teacher, I loved, loved, loved all of my elementary school teachers. And to this day, I can still name every single one of them. Inspired by my teachers, I felt truly loved as a student, I felt inspired. I used to play school, I had an aunt who is a teacher. So every August used to invite me to go set up her classroom and loved it. And that’s what I wanted to be. But then, I made a decision that was a little bit different later on.

Pamela Bardhi
Tell us more.

Brian Bachand
To tease it out, you get a tease about. At the same time, I wanted to be a teacher growing up, which I really do. And I still identify in so many ways that I am a teacher. I remember I grew up on the north shore of Boston. So you’re a fellow Bostonian. You know where that is, I was raised Catholic. And I remember it was a Sunday, we went to church, and we sat in the church, and we were there. Our family was always early. We’re like one of those families that was always 10 minutes early. So there we are. As a kid, I was a little bored. I remember looking at the stained glass windows or my left in the sun was coming through the windows. Every single one of the windows had a saint on it.

You know, particular St. Francis, different saints that we all have heard. I remember just looking at them as a kid and just being inspired. I remember I tapped my mother on the shoulder and I said, Is there a St. school you can go to? She looked at me and she’s like, what? And I said, Is there a school that you can go to study to become a saint? Because I had been learning about these men and women that just did incredible things. And I was like, I want to be like that and I think of my mother at that moment. All she said was, well, no, it’s how you live your life.

But there are some people that started to be priests later or go on to become nuns and different things. And so there’s special schools for that. And that was the decision that I made after going to university that I actually went to the seminary. Which I guess was kind of I would have called my st. School and to study to become a priest. That was a decision that I made when I was 21. I turned 22 My first year in the seminary. Yeah.

Pamela Bardhi
Wow. So you just decided you’re like, I want to go to seminary. I want to become a priest. And that’s that.

Brian Bachand
Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t like it just didn’t just happen overnight. It was definitely one of the things as a kid growing up and everything like great childhood, it was great. And you know, I love my school and all the things I did with friends and all that. But I think there was always a sense inside of being drawn to something beyond yourself, a sense of deeper purpose, a sense of caring. I was always that kid that when someone else’s being made fun of you always kind of had that empathy for them. You wanted to help, we saw that something was there. So it was part of who I was, but I went to a Catholic University. And that definitely fostered that sense.

That’s when people were like you’d be really good. Have you ever thought about this and so I went on a retreat my senior year in undergrad. And that’s when I made the decision to take the next step, which was to apply. And I said, if I get accepted, well, I guess that’s a sign that I’m supposed to go and that’s what I did. Now that was my approach as I went to seminary, I’m going to take one year at a time and test this. Every year, I got feedback and things kept going in a positive way, and was finally ordained in 1999.

Pamela Bardhi
I love it. What a journey. I mean, it’s just awesome that you follow that, but you did it in such a methodical way. You know, it’s like, let’s take this one step at a time, all the big life decisions, like people get so overwhelmed by them. I’m like, just take it one step at a time. If you overwhelm yourself with an entire future, you’ll get overwhelmed. But if you just tell yourself to take it bit by bit, it always works.

Brian Bachand
Absolutely. I think the thing was, it helped write that every year, you would get evaluations and different things. And it was always very affirming. And I was enjoying you know, every year you don’t just study every year, you have an assignment as well. So like, my first year, I worked at the women’s prison. Another year, I did hospice work another year, they sent me to South America to learn Spanish and work in admission. So all those assignments help you be challenged. But also help you make the decision like, wow, this is amazing is how I’m growing. It’s a relationship. It’s just like your relationship with someone else that you kind of assess. You’re like, Yeah, okay, like, I’m ready to take it to the next level. What does that mean?

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. So what was your journey after you got ordained? So it’s 1999. What’s next in friends World?

Brian Bachand
Yeah. 1999. And I was sent to an amazing parish west of Boston called St. Mary’s and Halston. Which is like the perfect New England little town with stone walls. And just total New England and big families, you know, large families 2700 families. It was amazing, like, I was in a young parish. So I did tons of weddings, as I always say, I felt like a Vegas chaplain. Like I was doing weddings constantly on the weekends, which obviously meant I was doing a lot of baptisms as well. Because that was the next thing that would happen after all. The wedding will come back, and I loved it, and go into the hospitals and different things. Then there was a moment when it was a young priest too. That’s when the whole sexual abuse scandal erupted.

The United States Boston was kind of the epicentre of that. And there was a new Cardinal that came to town. Because the other Cardinal resigned and he was brought in to bring healing, bring hope and restitution to what had to be done. It was a hard time in the parish, you know, for people are really grappling with faith. And this new Cardinal really was inspirational because he was just he wanted to bring home. I remember hearing him speak, when he first came in, I was like, Wow, what an amazing man, I want to help him.

Fast forward. A few months later, I got a phone call on a Thursday night to come in for a meeting the next day I went in. And he had selected me to be his new private secretary, which means like Chief of Staff, which is really a very, very important role. Because you travel with him, you live with him, when he goes to the Vatican, I was at the Vatican. When he was at certain meetings, I was there, I was the master of ceremonies. And it was an incredible growth experience. It was an incredible opportunity to support him and meet people. I never would have had the privilege to meet and to be of service. But at the same time, there was a new evolution happening in me.

And I started to realise that I knew at that moment, I was being groomed for more leadership in the church. I really didn’t want that. At the same time. I wasn’t missing life in the parish as much, I really realised in my heart that I wanted to be free to love another person. And I wanted to bring my gifts and a new way out to the world.

So I freely made the decision to take my time again, and to make sure I was really thinking it through. I took about nine months and worked with someone professionally privately. Just to kind of talk things out and look where things were at, and finally made the decision that I wanted to resign. And so I did all on good terms with the cardinal and so many others. And whence we blessings to New York City and began an entirely new life as an executive in Manhattan.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh my goodness, Brian, you’re such a rockstar. I mean, there’s so many things I love about your story. Like first off, I find it extremely badass that you were like the Chief of Staff and you were like the boss. You went, you know, to the Vatican and experienced all these incredible things. Because at that point, you were still very young. Like I’m sure there were people in the church that priests and all of that probably waited years for an opportunity like diamond never came. But it came to you at such a young age, which is so remarkable and incredible.

So I commend you for that. I mean, that was a very special position and then to basically step up to that. But then stay true to yourself, I think is the most admirable thing ever, ever. And it takes an extreme amount of courage, especially if you’re in that much senior leadership where you had a job that I’m sure was paying very well. You had a lot of privileges, I’m sure and just had life laid out, right. And you know, some people too, in this day and age, when they’re in a job. Or they’re in an environment that’s really comfortable for them, like their lifestyles are good. It’s all set. It’s very hard to leave that.

Brian Bachand
So I would say the only thing that I would disagree with, because I was still a priest, I didn’t take the ball of poverty. So I wasn’t making a huge, huge salary. In terms of exposure in terms of leadership, yes. I mean, like the night before, John Paul, the second funeral, we were in Rome. And we were invited to the US ambassador’s home to meet with the current US president and all the former US presidents at this private reception. There I am, 30 years old, chatting with Bill Clinton, and all these major people that it was incredible. It was a real privilege, a real privilege. I always knew my place. But it was a great exposure. And I remember when I was really seriously thinking of leaving, I held my cards close.

Because I really believe for anyone who’s listening who’s thinking about making a huge conscious change. Whether that’s about a relationship or career change. Make sure you speak when you’re ready to speak and share with the right people. Because there’s nothing worse when you’re sharing with someone and they start asking you questions. You’re not ready to prepare, because all it does is put you in a spiral of self doubt. So I really held my cards close. But I did speak to this one individual. And I was quite surprised.

He was a former priest. He’s now a former priest as well, which is interesting. He actually said to me, he said, Brian, why are you leaving, you said, it’s going to be so hard to step away. Like, here you are, you’re young, you’re exposed to all of this. There’s more coming for you, you know, create a world that’s going to work for you. And I knew in my heart, I just knew in the depths of my heart, I had to be true to who I was. I wanted to live that. And I knew people were looking at me and respected me.

I wanted them to know who I was. And I didn’t want to hide behind a shroud of disguise. So I freely made that decision and did the inner work. Because when you make a decision as anyone who’s listening, you’re gonna get people that support and you might get some people that challenge. And only when you own what’s in your heart, can you really stand in strength and with peace.

Pamela Bardhi
Amen. Literally, amen. I mean, you’re bringing it out. So admirable because you were in a very comfortable position, and could have been brought on for more. But yet you chose to stay true to who you were. And I just adore that. There’s, like I said, an extreme amount of courage. It’s just incredible. So for that transition, what was that like? Do you like it? Can you work through the process a little bit? Because I know that there must be someone listening that is either going through this. Or know somebody who is and could use that advice. Like to make such a huge transition in life to stay true to who they are. What was that process like for you? And what tips would you give?

Brian Bachand
Yeah, so I always begin, I speak about this all the time. And it’s really at the core of the navigation system of The Life of Brian, I’m happy to share it here. Yes, really, it comes with one question and ask yourself a question, what do I desire? And it can be as simple as when you’re trying to desire something about. Is this the right relationship by desire for the right job or doing things? Because when you ask that question, there will be something that will start to bubble inwardly. That’s true. Truth will always seek to grab our attention until we listen. It doesn’t mean you have to know exactly the plan and how you’re going to do it. But all you need to do at that moment is to listen to it while there’s something there.

So I listened and I struggled quietly, inwardly to myself telling myself no this is just in my mind, I can do this. This is all the conversations and then I spoke to a couple people and kind of teased it out a little bit. But finally I got to a moment where I knew if I really was serious about this, I need to work with someone professionally. I worked with someone who wasn’t Catholic, I worked with a good Jewish psychologist. Who was absolutely one of the greatest gifts in my life at that Time. I wanted someone neutral, someone that wasn’t connected. And it really was an opportunity to unpack for anyone who’s ever done therapy or gone for coaching, like the clients I work with. You might go in with one intention, but it’s like an onion, other things start to peel back.

And that’s what gave me the clarity, gave me healing, and gave me the insight that yes, this was the decision to go forward. So I recommend it for anyone who’s listening who’s struggling. Maybe having those Tango dances in your mind of just, Oh, where am I going? I don’t know, and this and that, just pause and give yourself the space of what do I desire? And listen, feel it? And just think, what’s the next best step? Do I need to speak to someone like myself or someone who’s a therapist? Because that space brings the light to help us look at things in a new way.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. So in making these transitions, how do you bring it up to loved ones? When you’re making a transition like this? What do you say? What do you do? You know, and I always ask this, it’s just everyone has such a different experience of this. So it’s always incredible to see the different insights. Because I mean, I can tell you like when I switched careers. And I was like, Mom, I’m not working for anybody. When I graduated college, I was like, I’m out. Mom freaked out, I probably shouldn’t have said it that bluntly. So when it comes to these major life transitions, how did you pitch it to those around you?

Brian Bachand
Yeah, so you know, every family dynamic is unique, right. So I can only speak for myself, I certainly knew from my life. I knew what was going to work best was dropping some hints along the way that I wasn’t really happy. Or things were bothering just at a high level. And kind of just sharing a little bit of certain things. So when it came time to really, really share the news that I wanted to leave. For the reasons why I made sure to pick the people that I knew first that would be supportive. And to speak with them first, because it’s not easy. You want someone who’s going to be there for you, I selected my dad’s out first. I remember he just looked at me, and he said, I may not understand everything.

But I respect the hell out of you for the decision you’ve made. And let’s talk about what you’re thinking about next. That was a gift. But there were definitely one or two others family and a couple friends that were not that were quite, quite challenging. And only when you do that inner work that you, no matter what they say, is going to keep you peaceful inside knowing it’s the right decision. So whatever they’re projecting onto you, which is always something on their side, whether it’s their hurt, or their guilt, or whatever it is, that we use stays solid. That’s the number one thing I tell people is don’t say anything until you’ve done that. Because if you haven’t, you’re going to cave in, and you’re going to doubt your decision.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that and the inner work that you’re that you’re talking about too. Can you shed some tips on that like the kind of work that you did to get to the next level. Just this is so important, it’s hard to hone in on this, I’m like, this is so important. Because it helps break people down a little bit. So that way, they’re not so fearful of making these big changes, you know,

Brian Bachand
Oh, totally, totally. And so privileged to speak in my language. I mean, it’s the stuff I do now with leaders as well and to break it down. So the first thing is, just to reiterate the sense of desire. I always go back to that, like, it’s, I can’t reiterate that enough. So that’s a starting place. Number two, some of that inner work is also owning, owning what you’re feeling, and owning what you would like next. And I think sometimes people overlook that. But it really is a sense of owning, wow, I know, I’m a lawyer, right?

I’m making a tonne of money, and I’m in this law firm, and not happy. And owning that and giving that voice. I think it’s really important part is if you want to evolve forwards and make a change. You have to own what’s not working or how you’re feeling and to give yourself that space. And I think that’s a very, very important piece. Number three the other thing I would say is another really beautiful aspect is being intentional about when you want to make that change. It’s important to say I would like to make a change by June such and such a date.

And it doesn’t mean that it’s all going to happen by that but it gives you something to work towards. It signals to the universe, it signals to yourself that you’re moving towards something. Oftentimes, unless we put it down in our calendar, or we make a conscious effort, June rolls into July, July becomes October. Next thing you know, it’s jingle bells in your head for the next year. So be conscious about selecting a time that is critical but be open to that it may shift in may shift. But I think that helps move things forward.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. Thank you so much, Brian, thank you so much. So after you made this decision, and you made the leap in the jump, what happened? What was next in the beautiful journey?

Brian Bachand
Well, the hardest part, everyone always asked me was it hard, it’s been so hard must have been so hard. Like the hardest part was just waiting, like waiting to leave like it really. Once I left the day I drove off the property, that cathedral went to New York, Yeah, it wasn’t hard. I was like, it was such a freedom. The worst part was that in between the time when you’re still there working. And you’re still trying to figure out and find the next job and make the transition. So once I got through that, it’s like, you end a relationship with someone, but you’re still living together and the other person hasn’t moved out yet.

For someone who’s kind of like that, you’re like, you’re trying to be patient, but you’re trying to look for the new place. It’s just that awkward time. So when I went to New York City, I was very fortunate, I did land a job before I left the clergy. It was a great opportunity, I became a director with the American Cancer Society. And on the corporate side, I had no experience in philanthropy. Except that I had worked at kind of a high level with individuals and I kind of knew that they wanted someone that could cultivate relationships to bring in revenue. So nine months later, I got promoted to be the director of the new business unit in Manhattan, working with like the fortune 100 companies. And helping them bring in money through major capital markets for their programming.

Then I went on to become executive director at NYU Medical and loved my life in Manhattan, I really did. Like, I have to say, it’s where I wanted to be. It fit me, it just brought me energy. I built a great network, I was able to just really own who I was. As Brian and own that I could be free as a gay man that I could bring my gifts that I still felt God, the divine guiding me, it was a beautiful moment. And I originally met a Canadian, that was the reason I moved to Toronto. And I continued as an executive here and phenomenal opportunities, then became a partner in executive recruitment. Until I started my own venture a couple years ago.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. Oh, got it. And I can see you light up when you’re talking about like, that was your freedom moment you went there. You enjoyed it so much, and just felt like it’s just incredible. So now you’ve launched your business. So walk me through that process, because then that’s getting into entrepreneurship. Going from being a priest to being an entrepreneur, that must be two polar differences, and then the executive world. It’s like you literally entered into a whole new round. What was that? Like? What were some of the challenges? And how did that start up?

Brian Bachand
Yeah, you know, it’s a great question. Because people always say, Oh, you’ve done so much in such a short time and like, yeah. Sometimes I look back and I’m like, holy smokes, there’s been a lot that’s happened since I left in 2008. And so for me, it was interesting, I’ve always kind of had this entrepreneurial spirit, I’ve always been a leader. You know, I remember even as a child going back to that elementary school, getting an award for leadership and different things. It’s always been part of who I am and leading teams. What I found is I wanted to create something that aligned all of who I was to be of service to others that I felt was missing.

So I founded a company called evolution evolution, and I named it twice on purpose. The first evolution is a nod to our natural evolution as human beings. How a pandemic affects every single human being, how we all evolve and new ways through it. But the second evolution is where I spend my time helping individuals and teams to be fully aligned with their greatest values and strengths. To make the greatest impact in the world. And so I spend a lot of time with professional leaders, C suites, and other professional leaders at different stages. That is either looking to grow in their roles, maybe they’re having a challenge.

Maybe they’re a first time CEO. They’re getting triggered on different things that they’ve never had to deal with before. Or individuals that are maybe thinking like why want to make a change and make a tonne of money. And I’m doing this because I have a massive bonus that comes in into the year, but I hate my work. I’ve always wanted to go out on my own and help people navigate that. And I also do some special recruitment as well, a new way of doing recruitments and evolving teams and leaders.

And a lot of public speaking is really inspiring to help people own their story. Because I always say when you own what’s in your heart, you stand in your truth. Then you’re free to do what you want to do. Human beings are designed to evolve and have freedom. And I feel my world and my work is to help people to evolve, not just that person, but the generations that will follow from them.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that advice. Oh my gosh, that’s so fascinating and exciting. And I can tell I mean, that’s like, that’s your life purpose. That’s who you are. It’s what you’re designed to do. It’s just, it’s remarkable to see the journey throughout the process. And to have the life that you always dream of right to have the freedom to have your business to have it be on your terms.

Brian Bachand
Yeah, it’s great. I mean, these challenges, like as an entrepreneur, like, I didn’t know anything, it’s like, I didn’t know anything. When I became a fundraiser. Well, I got hired, and all of a sudden started raising millions. I think no one ever taught me how to do it, I just kind of did it. You don’t even know it was all about relationships and listing. And I definitely had to learn things in the business. And definitely in recruitment in different things. Then I think being an entrepreneur, the hardest for anyone who’s an entrepreneur. Or considering it as three things that I would bring out first.

Always do something that aligns with your skills, like do something that comes very natural for you, and brings you joy. That’s probably number one. Number two, there are some challenges as you started out as an entrepreneur. Like, you know I was so used to being a priest. I got paid on a regular basis, like you just direct deposit is a gift, boom, boom, boom. You never had to worry, it’s always there. And now it’s up and down. Like how do you regulate how you develop other streams of income? What does that mean? How do you balance that? Oh, my gosh, these three contracts that they said they were going to do it, they’re not coming in.

So what does that mean? So that’s been a growth area, like learning the financial assets a lot differently when you’re doing your own than when you’re managing someone else’s money in a corporation. That’s been a growth area, and then also giving myself the permission to keep evolving. That it’s okay, not to have to readjust, like, my website is all being updated. Because it’s out of date, because I want to shift things in another area. And that’s okay. I think that’s the beauty of, if you’re really owning who you are, and your company, you can keep shifting and being of service. And I think that’s been hard, because it’s like, oh, really, I thought this was all sad. But it’s really, that’s the gift of it, because you’re creating impact in a new way.

What Would Brian Older Self Tell His Younger Self

Pamela Bardhi
I love that, I love that friend and question for you like, what would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know, now?

Brian Bachand
I would go back to that little boy sitting in the church looking at the stained glass windows. And I would say to the little boy who’s inspired by these great lives. In a sense of inwardness of being connected to something beyond just because that’s the tradition of the faith you’ve grown up in. It doesn’t mean that’s the only way you can devote a spiritual life. Then you can take that and evolve with it in a very different way. And so that’s the one thing I would say to that young man who is just questioning, like, wow, I’m inspired by this. But I don’t have to stay in that. It’s much bigger than that.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. And so in your world that What are you up to in the next like six to 12 months? What’s going on with evolution, evolution,

Brian Bachand
Lots of evolving now. I would say there’s a couple things. So first of all, there is an evolution of really wanting to develop some new programmes as well. Not really new programmes, but I have this recruitment called evolution recruitment. It’s a platform that’s done about five or six different types of recruitment. And redeveloped the model that I think is really profound and collaborative and cost savings. And that’s something I really want to engage with companies and organisations to help them look at. That’s something really great. I definitely feel the next piece. I’m all about timing. It’s really working on the book, because it’s something I’ve started and I really want to be intentional about that.

Going into the New Year just creating that space, and really doing it because it’s something I enjoy. It’s something that I know that people really have encouraged about. And it’s something I want to do more because I love public speaking, I love connecting. And I really think the book is going to be another venue to be able to do that.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. Can we get a little snippet of the book?

Brian Bachand
Yeah, I mean, I think I’m in the early stages too, and working on it. It definitely is through the framework of the story. How I engage is definitely through telling stories. So there will be a couple themes that will be told through different stories. And it’s really about owning your truth. And you know, in owning that from your heart and living that out. So that’s just at the tip of the iceberg there.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that so much, Brian, thank you so much for sharing that. And now where can everybody find you and your awesomeness?

Brian Bachand
So I welcome you, for anyone who’s made it to the end of this conversation, if you made it to the end, there’s a reason. There’s a reason why this conversation is stirred in your heart. And maybe you’re considering making a decision for a change. Maybe it might not be a huge life change. But maybe there’s something just, I really want to get more clarity on this. Please reach out. I’m very active on LinkedIn, send me a message on LinkedIn, and you will hear back from me. I guarantee you that usually within one day. Also, you can send me a message through my website or directly at brian@evolutionevolution.com and welcome to hear from you there.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you so much, Brian, thank you so much for your insight, your story, just your beautiful energy. Thank you so much for that and for inspiring us today. I really appreciate you.

Brian Bachand
Well, same here. Thank you for the opportunity. And thank you for all that you’re doing to you know, to create impact in the world. It’s really beautiful.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you so much. So that’s it for today’s episode of underdog. Catch us next week, always dropping on Thursdays. And remember, if you’re interested in real estate. Or want to learn how to create more money and magic in your life, check out meetwithpamela.com and let’s chat sending you so much love.