Jay Conner

Our latest guest here in the Underdog is the King of Private Money, Jay Conner. When Jay first started his Real Estate journey, he did it ALL THE WRONG WAY! It felt like being taken to the slaughterhouse. He hated it and felt owned by the bank, out of control, and stressed out. Until he changed his trajectory, trusted his systems, and got into Private Money. And since then, he has been getting deals and massive profits (7 Figures Per Year!). Discover how you too can get ahead in utilizing Unlimited Private Money for your real estate deals. Tune in and be empowered with our latest episode.


Some of the highlights include:

  • What led to where Jay Conner is today?
  • What are the challenges Jay faced that urged him to change his trajectory in his Real Estate Career?
  • What is Private Money, and how does it differ from traditional means?
  • What is the advice he’d like to impart?


Listen to how Jay unfolds his remarkable story. Listen to the full episode here:


Catch up with Jay on his social links here:

Click To Read The Transcript

Jay Conner Shares His Journey to Success & Secret Formula on How to Buy Property with Other People’s Money

Kevin Harrington
Hi, I’m Kevin Harrington, an original Shark from the hit television show Shark Tank and you’re listening to the underdog podcast

Pamela Bardhi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of underdog today I have an amazing guest here with me Jay Conner, the icon, the private money authority is here today. How are you, my friend?

Jay Conner
Pam, I’m doing fantastic. And I’m just like, so excited that you’ve invited me to come on here to talk about my favorite subject private money.

Pamela Bardhi
I love it. Jay, you are an absolute Rockstar. So Jay and I are in the same mastermind. And I met Jay and his energy just radiates across the room. Like he’s just one of those people. And it was just such a gift to meet you, Jay, and I was so drawn to you and Carol and like both of you is just so incredible. I just can’t wait to hear your story, honestly.

Jay Conner
Well, I appreciate that. Pam, I was actually running a zoom with my Platinum and mastermind group while we were at mastermind for just a little while and I get a text on my phone. And Carol’s joy. My wife says you have gotten to meet Pam, you’ve gotten to meet Pam here. Oh, joy made sure you and I met. Boy, am I glad we did because you have for sure got going on. And everybody can just learn so much from you.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you so much, Jay. It’s such an honor and I was so drawn to you both and I just loved your energy. And I’m like, I want to learn all about Jay, who is Jay? What is he up to in the world and you know, learning about you? And meeting you. I was like, okay, all right, this is gonna be super exciting. This is why I’m even more excited that we’ve got today rolling. Because now I get to know your story deeper, which is super exciting. So Jay might be requested, which is what I always lead with what inspired you on your journey to where you are today, my friend?

Jay Conner
What inspired me on my journey was the most difficult and most challenging obstacle that I had ever run into, in this world of real estate investing. I mean, private money, you know, as you and I have already visited offline. I just didn’t wake up one morning and say, Hey, I think I’ll go raise a bunch of private money than work that way. So, you know, isn’t it true? Like, you know, you and I heard Robert Allen at the mastermind speak, he was amazing. And you know, didn’t he bring out that. It’s down in those valleys of your life? It’s down in those valleys of your business, where growth has the opportunity to happen? Just because you’re in the valley doesn’t mean you’re gonna grow.

But the valley the challenges, the obstacles, and the pain, give us the opportunity to grow. Just like it was yesterday. I was sitting here at my desk. We actually still have landlines here in eastern North Carolina, believe it or not, but from 2003 Pam to 2009. I relied on local banks and mortgage companies to fund mining Carol Joy’s real estate deals. We started full-time in 2003. Investing in single-family houses, rehabbing a lot of them flipping to date. We’ve rehabbed a little over 450 houses here in eastern North Carolina.

So the first six years I did all I knew to do when it came to funding my deals. And that was borrowing money from the local bank. Well, my banker’s name was Steve. We the operative word in that sentence is was so anyway, I call up my banker Steve here on this very fun in January of 2009. Pam and I had this conversation many times many I mean, this similar type of conversation was seen many times. I called him up after pleasantries I say, Steve, I got a house over a new port, I got a house in Beaufort, I had two houses under contract. And I put earnest money down back in January 2009. I couldn’t even get my earnest money back. It was like they’re gone.

So I had these two houses under contract. Pam, these two houses represented over $100,000 in profit after I would fix them up and sell them. And I told Steve where they relocated the after repaired value of the funding, I needed him when I wanted to close. Well, Steve did something that’s never a good sign. Pam. Steve went quiet on the other end of the phone. I’m going like Hello, Steve. Hello, are you there? Anyway, Steve finally cleared his throat. He says Jay, you no longer have a line of credit at the bank. I said, What? What do you mean I no longer have a line of credit at the bank. And he says why? All, the bank just says loaning money out to real estate investors anymore these days.

And I said, What have I done, he said, Jay, you haven’t done anything. You’ve always made your payments on time, you still got a great credit score. We’ve had a great relationship. But due to the global financial crisis, we’re not loaning money out to real estate investors. I hung up the phone, and I had a lot of conversations with myself. And I developed Pam, this little mantra that I’ll never forget. The little mantra I began saying in my head is I said, Jay, it’s impossible for you to fail unless you choose to quit. It’s impossible for you to fail unless you choose to quit. Quitting wasn’t an option for me.

So I picked up the phone again, I told my buddy Jeff, who lived in Greensboro, North Carolina at the time, he was a real estate investor. I told Jeff, what just happened? I got no way to fund my deals. I said, Jeff, what are we gonna do? Jeff told me about this phrase called private money and self-directed IRAs. I’ve never heard of private money. I’ve never heard of self-directed IRAs, and how you can get funding from people using their retirement accounts. And you can get funding from people using their investment capital. So I learned all about private money as fast as I could.

And I put my program together. You know what’s funny, Pam, to this date, I have yet to ask anybody for money. I have not asked anybody for money. I’ve got $8 million dollars in private money that we use from a house that house. People said, Jay, have you got all that funding? I say it’s real simple. I put on my teacher’s hat and I teach people and I taught people what private money is. How they can get high rates of return safely and securely. And Pam, because of that difficulty and challenge of losing my line of credit, and less than 90 days, I was able to raise over $2 million in new funding and new private money that I did not have before.

And so that blessing in disguise, Pam was such a blessing because during that time, you know, 2008 2009. All those bank-owned properties were coming on the market, banks wouldn’t lend you money. You know, your banker gives you an umbrella when the sun is shining. Nobody was like lending money. But I had all this private money burning a hole in my pocket. Not in Carol Joy’s business tripled the first 12 months that we started using private money. So that’s how we got started in this world of private money.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. Jay, thank you so much for sharing that. Oh, my goodness, that sounds amazing. I mean, that’s something that money is the number one topic of like. What keeps people back from real estate investing and all of that. We’ll get into the whole private money conversation and all that good stuff. But I want to know, Jay, what did you want to be when you grew up as a kid? What was your dream?

Jay Conner
I wanted to be a stage magician.

Pamela Bardhi
Wait, you that’s what you do now.

Jay Conner
You’re like work magic and help people work magic to make their real estate business work when they don’t have any money.

Pamela Bardhi
I didn’t really have a huge childhood dream. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Jay Conner
I’ve been on probably 1000 podcasts that may be exaggerating hundreds and hundreds of podcasts as a guest. Nobody yet in turn right now, as Ashley, what did you want to be when you grew up? And you know, I’ve never put two and two together, that I actually am living my dream. I am performing magic by helping other people do this thing.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, my goodness. Well, here’s we’re gonna reel it back a bit because I want to know about Jay. So you wanted to be a magician when you grew up? Tell me about your childhood growing up? What was that like? And like, Who was your biggest inspiration during that time? And then walk me through your career a little bit. So let’s get into that because I want to hear all about you, Jay. You’re so awesome.

Jay Conner
Well, thank you, Pam. Well, I grew up with a very, very strong influencer. And that was my granddaddy. My mother’s dad Raymond Semmens. His nickname was buddy boy. Semmens. More people knew him as his buddy boy than they did his Raymond. But anyway, my granddad was a very humble man. Never heard him say a cuss word in his life. Never saw him lose his temper in his life. He was a farmer. And every weekend, I mean, they just live three miles out in the country from where I grew up in town. Of course, don’t get me wrong. My town had 2000 people Or 2000 people now it’s 800 people when I was growing up. So the man will say I grew up in the country.

But anyway, my granddaddy rumor on the country. So every weekend, I was with them. You know, I was on the tractor and I was working in the tobacco field and I was helping with the hogs and all that kind of stuff. And so my granddaddy when I would stay there on Friday nights, instilled in my brain still to this day, I can see my granddaddy. During the day by him with his Bible open, studying the Bible from 9 pm until 10 pm, by himself. I had a very spiritual if you will influence in my life by the actions that my granddad took. So, to this day, I mean, that’s where I met Carol Jo, and my first Sunday in Texas when I moved to Texas, I met Carol joy in the church.

We’ve been dating 37 years, we just happen to have been married 35 of those years. So you know, spirituality leads with a servant’s heart. My granddaddy taught me, that it’s not all about the money. He taught me that as long as you leave with a servant’s heart, and you have a good business plan. The money’s going to come, money in and of itself never fulfills. Money in and of itself is not satisfying. And so I’ve learned over the years that when you try to possess money. Money possesses you to stop wanting what you’re wanting. A synonym for war is lack, stop lacking what you’re lacking. If you want more love, give somebody else some love. And you read matches. So you want more hope, give somebody hope. You got hope giving back to you.

You want more confidence in what you’re doing. Give somebody else encouragement and confidence and confidence come back to you. You want more money, give somebody some money, and the law of reciprocity, it all comes back. Jesus growing up, the spiritual aspect was very, very strong. On the other side of the coin, I was so blessed to have a father, Wallace Conner, who had the largest manufactured housing mobile slash mobile home dealership Company in the nation. He had 170 dealerships selling mobile homes, they were called trailers back then. So I grew up being around affordable housing. So I grew up all the time helping people get a home when I was 11 years old. I haven’t had a summer off since I was 10 years old, and I’m not complaining, I’m not complaining. My daddy put me on the telephone checking people’s credit.

When I was 12 years old, like Cohen, I’m getting their verification of income, and their employment with Coenen landlords. Because if they can get approved, then you know, for financing and they can get a mobile home get, you know, get a home for their family. That’s so funny. That was prior to Equifax and TransUnion, or Experian, we had this little scorecard of 25 points. So if you lived at your current address for so many years, you got so many points. And if you paid your landlord on time, you got so many points. If you bet on your job, you got so many points, and we ended up voting points. And if you got 25 points, you’re approved for a home, how about that. So anyway, I grew up helping people get home.

And so, you know, went off to Wake Forest University and got a degree in business, also a double major pretty much in music. So I’ll write and record piano music with my wife, Carol. Joey, we write songs for the church. So I went off into the restaurant business for a couple of years. At one time, I wanted to own my own separate club, and have a big band sound. And nowadays into the restaurant business.

I knew I don’t want to do that. But hey, there’s an important life lesson plan. My ego wouldn’t let me quit. My ego would not let me quit. Because I was so concerned about what other people would think about me. I stayed there another year and nine months because I didn’t want to be felt badly where you know. What I learned over the years, Pam and I none of my business what anybody else thinks about me.

Now then, so anyway, so I was raised in the housing business. I did the mobile home business until 2003. And in 2003, consumer financing for mobile homes, by and large, went away. I knew if I ever got out of mobile homes, I wanted to get into single-family houses. And I’ve been at it ever since then, don’t get me wrong. I’ve also done commercial developments. I got a shopping center that I developed from the ground up, and that baby’s free and clear. Pam talks about private money, get yourself a shopping center that’s free and clear. That helped me sleep at night. But anyway, we’ve done commercials, but my emphasis for many years has been single-family houses and funding them with private money.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that day. Your story is so incredible and inspiring. Truly, I mean, what I love is you mentioned servant leadership and spirituality. This is a topic that’s come up in my world a lot. Because Tony Robbins always says business is a spiritual game. So I love everything that you said about that spirit. Because we were taught at a young age that money is not everything. As we grow up our system teaches us that it’s all about going to school. Then go to college and go out and get a nine to five so that you can pay the money back that you paid for college, like all of these. So it’s like, the principle of our lives.

Our system, if you will, has always been to basically almost worship money, chase that money, and all that. And what you’re saying is no, it’s a difference this is totally different. It’s a totally different thing that’s not going to fulfill you and I 100% resonate with you on that because I remember getting to a certain level. Like I was financially free by the time I was 26 years old. And I remember I was like, at the top of the pinnacle for Lilian felt great for a couple of days. Then after that, it was like, okay, like, what’s next? Like, it’s not it is what it is, right?

Jay Conner
Yeah, I have a dear friend. In fact, we work together in the mobile home business. And I mean, we had 65 locations in three different states were doing well, we could buy anything we wanted to buy. So my business partner at that time, I remember it, just like yesterday, we were on our way to lunch. And this guy, he had it all, as most people would say. He had a beautiful wife on the inside and outside, a beautiful daughter that was a teenager at the time. I mean, he had the boat, he had the jet skis. He had the airplane, all that stuff.

And we’re going down the road on the way to lunch. He said, Jay, why do I feel so empty? I said because there’s something much bigger than boats and jet skis, and money. So you know, I get it. Now, the mastermind that you and I are in plan is different than a lot of masterminds. I mean pretty much everybody I know, in the mastermind. You are to lead with a servant’s heart. Yes. But I’ve been in some other masterminds, that it was all about the money and people didn’t check their ego at the door. I stayed in that group for one year. Didn’t like sorting it into sort of like resonated with me. And then you know, there’s something much bigger going on.

Pamela Bardhi
I’m 100%, you mentioned that you were in the restaurant business. This is funny because I had two restaurants by the time I was 21. And I quickly realized that it was not for me, but I was stuck in it. I already had done it. There’s nothing I could do. So I stayed with it. And much like you, my ego was like, I can’t let people see me quit. This is not going to happen. So I feel like that was probably one of those valleys for you. How did you navigate through that experience?

Jay Conner
As far as the restaurant business? Getting out of that? Well, well, there’s a bigger story to that, Pam. You see, it just wasn’t the restaurant business. It was my personal life. I hadn’t met Carol Joy yet. And I was only 24 years old. So I went straight from college, to work for this restaurant chain. My idea was, they were going to teach me the restaurant business. Then I’m gonna go out and do my own separate club. So I poured myself into the work, I was working over 80 hours a week, and I forgot who God was. I left him behind. God never leaves me, but I left him. And I wasn’t going to church, so I had no personal life, I had no friends of really any meaningful, no meaningful friends.

And you know, I finally I got to the point, I just woke up one day, and I said, you know what, and I felt so empty. I felt so alone, I felt like, I’m just out here alone on an island, the restaurant I worked at would have 300 people in a night. You can be in the midst of 300 people and feel very, very lonely. So I just came to my senses one day, I said, you know, there’s got to be a better way. So I gave my resignation and moved back to my hometown. And I prayed to God, I said, Please, let me start over. Please. Let me start over. How I navigated through that was by realizing that that’s not my destiny, my realizing that’s not my path.

I returned to my roots. I returned to my roots and my foundation to my granddad. He had instilled so much into me as to what’s really very important. I returned to my roots of what my dad had taught me so much about business and customer service and really putting your customers first. So I returned to all that, and thank goodness. My dad then brought me on at 24 years old, full-time working in his company and Corporation. And I moved out of Texas, his company, his mobile phone company was expanding that time. And that’s how I met Carol joy. My definition of coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous. So I moved out there to Texas, my first Sunday in town met Carol joy.

And as I say, we’ve been dating for 37 years and married for 35. So how I navigated through that valley of the restaurant was being true to myself. You know, unfortunately, sometimes, we lie to ourselves more than we lie to other people. And when we’re true to ourselves, when we’re like, really, really truthful, as to Okay, really, what should I be doing? What should my path be? I believe, Pam, that and who knows, we were going to talk about this head stuff versus real estate up front. But it’s really, that’s where it starts, the most important real estate we got is six inches between our ears.

That’s the most important real estate we got. And until we get this straight, we can learn all there is to learn about real estate. But we’re not going to be successful until we own this real estate. But you know, there’s this thing called cognitive dissonance, cognitive dissonance. And I know, you know what all that is about. That’s a $5 psychiatry word that all it means is, when you are doing something that is in contradiction to your core values, you’re gonna stress out.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, 100%.

Jay Conner
So be true to yourself, follow your core values, follow what you know, to be the right thing to do. And when you boil it all down, Pam, I mean, shoot, I don’t know, why would you ask me but you inspired me to talk. You know what, what it all boils down to is, we all only want one thing, really, really, we all only want one thing. We just want to be happy. We just want to have joy. So if you want to be happy, you know, I read something last year, at the end of last year. It says if you want to be happier this year than you were last year, then just do more things that make you happy.

Pamela Bardhi
Amen. It’s that simple, though. Jay, I love everything that you just mentioned. Because you touched on some really important and key things. Where, like, you know, we’re in an industry of real estate, where a lot of people see us, we’re successful. We make lots of money, we do all these things. And we have fun. We’re surrounded by the greatest people on Earth. And people look at us, and they’re like, how the hell did you get there? Then you ask yourself, and you’re just kind of like, well, it comes down to your alignment. So what you said was so important. The most important piece of real estate that you have is right here, your own mind. If you can’t master your mind, you can’t master your life.

Jay Conner
I’ll tell you the book that changed my life other than the Bible, of course. But the book changed my life when I was 24 years old when I woke up from the restaurant business. And I said, you know, there’s got to be a better way. That book was the University of success by OG, Man Dino. I started reading that book. And I mean, it just turned me around and got me to thinking right, and you know, you said something a second ago, Pam, which was a really, really important question. You said people ask you all the time, how the words you get to where you are, how did that happen? One big answer, I tell people, none of us got here where we are alone.

None of us got here alone. I mean, we had a mentor, we had a coach, we surrounded ourselves with other people. We want to be like, you know, one of my favorite phrases. It’s credited as coming from Jim Rohn. I’m not sure who he came from. And you’ve heard it 1000 times Pam, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. So be very careful who you’re spending time with. Right? But yeah, none of us got here alone. I mean, my lands, you became to where you could financially retire and sit on the sofa and eat Cheetos all day long if you wanted to. When you were 26 years old. You know, you had that choice, but I mean, you know all of us want a purpose in life.

All of us want to raise all of us want a reason to get up. But look at you and me, Pam, I mean, if I were to sit home all day long and eat Cheetos, I have that choice. I don’t want to sit home all day long and eat Cheetos in the mastermind that you and I were in the room. We were on islands. We had the stars we have Robert Allen, we had Ron Legrand. And Robert Allen looked at Ron the grant and said Ron why in the world are you still teaching and on the road and doing all that traveling? You know, the AGR and Ron say a one 1 am I gonna you know.

But what I was getting ready to say, Pam, I mean, you know, none of us get here alone. And you know, look at you and me by choice have invested a lot of money by some people would say a lot of money. And have joined the mastermind that you and I are in. Because we’re always looking to learn more. We’re always looking to have an opportunity in a venue to serve and to give to other people. You know that’s one thing I’ve noticed about very, very successful people. In fact, I noticed that Robert Allen Milan’s book, no money down came out 42 years ago. He’s still teaching, but I noticed him at the mastermind last week, taking copious notes all the time. And successful people are always hungry to learn.

Pamela Bardhi
Yes, amen. Jane, you touched on some really important things. I mean, one of the most profound moments that I had was when Ron and Bob Allen were up on stage. And I remember Ron looks at him. And he says, Bob when you came out, and you talked about your bankruptcy. As one of the top-selling real estate, individuals in the world, world-renowned through his books, and all that. When you came out and said that it inspired me to get through my bankruptcy. That right there, I was floored, because not only in these masterminds, are you, obviously investing in yourself and all of that.

But you talk about the hard things, right, you talk about your vulnerable moments. And I think that shows a lot of strength, just like what you mentioned here today, you said, you know, I was lost. I was lost at one point, but I found myself again, and here’s how we do that, that we’re not afraid to really talk about that. And to let people know, like, Hey, listen, yes, we’re super successful. But there’s also been some valleys. Right, we’ve been through some hard times, and we did not get through them alone. You know. So I think the importance is critical.

Jay Conner
Absolutely. And you know, what, I am so grateful for those hardships. I’m so grateful for the valleys. You know, people say, Well, why would you go back and change, I wouldn’t change a thing. That doesn’t mean, I didn’t make some big, big mistakes. That doesn’t mean I didn’t screw up big time. But I’m so grateful for everything I’ve experienced. Because if it had not been for all that junk that I brought on myself, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So you know, be grateful for the challenges, be grateful for the obstacles, be grateful for the blessings, be grateful for all of it.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. And honestly, Jay, the biggest moment that came for you, that got you where you are here today. Because your banker told you, hey, I’m not loaning you any more money.

Jay Conner
You know, what, if it had not been for that phone call and me being like, you, and I wouldn’t be having this conversation today?

Pamela Bardhi
Exactly. And that’s what I love about it is like, you know, a lot of the times people freak out when things don’t go the right way. But you took that you spun that into an opportunity, and now you’ve become the private money, authority. So a lot of people would look at you, Jay, how the heck did you raise over $2 million? That quickly? So what were some of the steps you took to pass that point? Jim, you know, after you got off that phone call, what are some things that you did that changed your trajectory?

Jay Conner
Yeah, I was able to raise a lot of money. Number one, because of my mindset, and the framework in which I went about doing it. I knew I was not going to go out asking people for money, not going to chase people for money, wasn’t going to beg people for money, wasn’t going to try to sell people into any kind of program. I knew that I was never going to pitch a deal. You hear it all the time. You hear it all the time. Oh, I pitch this to my private lender, pitch this thing on my private.

I’ve never pitched a deal in my life. So I’m really so here’s, here’s how the law of attraction worked in my life as relates to private money. Step number one, again, framework mindset. While I was in my mindset, I became a teacher. Even when I started meeting people, I’d be at social events. I changed from being a real estate investor, which I’d already been for six years, and I still was, I still wasn’t a real estate investor. But when people would ask me, Jay, what do you do? I didn’t say I’m a real estate investor. I mean, that like Does nobody any good. But wouldn’t it be cool to answer the question. What do you do with an answer that arouses curiosity leads to a conversation and might bring you some private money?

When people ask me what I do, I started to answer it this way. I teach people and private lenders how to make a lot of money. Now when I answer the question that way, I teach private lenders how to make a lot of money they don’t have Usually what I said, is the point. That’s the point to start a conversation. Oh, now they’ve heard make a lot of money. Oh, boy, they heard a lot of money. And they heard teach. I’m a teacher, they don’t know what that private money thing is. So that answer allows an opportunity, if they ask now, you’ll get all kinds of weird books. But if they ask, what’s that about? So I would stop talking about private money.

The second thing I did, besides knowing I’m not going to chase any money, bear in mind, that I still got these two deals under contract over $100,000 in profit. And Steve had cut me off and no way to fund them. So I knew I wasn’t gonna chase. So I knew I had to put my private lending program together. My private lending program got what in the world is my private lending programme? Well, I put together what interest rate? Am I going to pay people? How am I going to protect them, and they go and borrow unsecured money? Or am I going to collateralize their note with the real estate that I’m buying?

And that’s what I decided to do, yes, among collateralized notes, when I borrow money. I’m gonna keep it very conservative, I’m not going to borrow a very, very high loan to value. So I’m going to protect my private lenders and not put them at that kind of risk. I’m gonna give them a way that they can get their money back early, with no penalty, in case they have some kind of emergency come up. And I’ve put together how long the notes going to be how long. I decided what my minimum amount was going to be that I would accept. Because I knew that would be one of the first questions that they asked. So I put my private lending programme together as to what I would teach people about.

And so that’s what I did, I put five steps together for what we call the warm market. There’s three categories or three places where you find private money. First of all, are in the warm market people that you’ve got some kind of influence with some people in your cell phone, your email lists, whatever. So there’s your warm market. And there’s five steps I put together for that, that I started raising private money. The second category is existing private lenders, individuals, private lenders. We’re not talking hard money, folks, we are not talking hard money. We’re talking doing business with individuals, human beings, just like you, and they that loan us money from either their investment capital or their retirement account or retirement funds. So I studied how do you find existing private lenders?

How do you find individuals that are already loaning money out to people, to real estate investors? And then the third category is what we call your expanded warm market. Some of my students will say, Jay, I can’t go to my warm market because my warm market is broke. My people ain’t got no money. Well, first of all, I don’t believe them. But anyway, I teach everybody, you should expand your network and you’re setting your influence and your center of influence. So let’s start with the warm market, how in the world and I raise $2,150,000. Again, the mindset I’m not chasing, number two, I got my program put together.

Now the five steps. Step number one, I made my list who in my warm market might be interested in earning high rates of return safely and securely. So I made my list. I put it the first on my list, people that I know that our retired people that are retired, might have retirement funds. I also learned about self-directed IRAs, and I align myself and establish a relationship with a very established self-directed IRA company. And the reason that’s so important is Carol join. Right now have 44 private lenders that are funding deals for us, over half of them are using their retirement funds to fund our deals. So when I talk with somebody that’s got retirement funds, and they’re interested in my private lending programme, oh, my lands.

I should ever relate a relationship with a self-directed IRA company that I can refer them to. So step number one, I made my list. Step number two, I had a casual conversation with the people on my list. That’s a pre-qualifying conversation. Again, there’s no selling or chasing the gist of that conversation plan. Let’s say you’re a friend of mine, which you are, but let’s say you. I’ve known each other for quite a while and I might call you up and say, Hey, Pam, how you doing? How is the kids’ chit-chat? Chit chat chit chat? We’re gonna get right into it. Then I say, Pam, as you may know, I’m investing in real estate these days. And I’m positioning my company to take advantage of the tidal wave of bank-owned properties that are about ready to hit the market.

Because of COVID You know, we’ve been shut down, and bank and put properties are coming right around the corner. So I’m now opening up my business to people that I know and trust. And I got a program that’s been insane high rates of return, Pam. But this is a program that may or may not be for you, quite frankly. In fact, Pam, unless you answer yes to the following question. There’s no need for me to give you any more information about my program. And that question is, do you have investment capital or retirement funds, not give you a higher rate of return safely and securely? Notice I didn’t ask you for money. I asked you, do you have investment capital or retirement funds not giving you a higher rate of return safely and securely? Now, if you say no, no, you’re broke.

Because the average certificate of deposit in the local banks only been 0.17%. But if you say yes, I do have retirement funds, or I do have investment capital, that’s not getting a high rate of return safely and securely, then that goes to step three. And then that’s when I text you or email you my 16-minute audio called stress free investing. This 60-minute audio I have personalised for over 1000 real estate investors across the nation. This 60-minute audio is a very powerful tool that we use to introduce people to what this broader private money is about. It doesn’t teach the program, it just gets their greed glands swelling up in their neck. So they can’t wait to hear how the program goes.

That leads to step number four, which is the one on one meeting or where you spill the beans. For we actually teach with our teacher had on the private lending programme. Step number five is a verbal pledge. They tell you how much money they got to work with is the investment capital is a retirement fund. And how much they got to work with. And then we go get a deal for them to fun. Now notice when I visited with that person, either over the phone or in-person or on Zoom. And to wish you in Boston zoom stock a year ago or two years ago, so I’m visiting with them on Zoom. Look, notice I did not pitch a deal and offer my private lending programme in the initial conversation already sounds like I’m begging.

So I teach the program, then I bring a deal back in two or three days, and I don’t pitch that deal. You know what Pam? I only tell him four things about the deal when I got a deal for him to fund. And here it is. Pam Have I got great news for you. Pam says, what’s that Jay, I can now put your money to work for you. You say you’ve already told me how much money you got to put to work as my private lender. I got great news for you was at Jay, I can now put your money to work for you. I got a house in Newport, the after repaired value is $200,000.

The funding required for the deal is only 150,000. Closing is next Thursday. So I need you to wire your funds to my closing attorney next Thursday in that conversation. I didn’t ask them if they wanted to do the deal. That’s the most stupid question I could ever ask. Of course, they want. Of course, they want to do the deal, then wait for me to bring them a deal. Because they’ve told me they got this much money that they’re like, you know, waiting to put the use, right? So that in a nutshell is what we call the direct method. The indirect method, in a nutshell, is we just ask people for help to spread the word.

You know, I got people telling me all the time, Pam. Jay, I’m not comfortable with that direct question. I’m not comfortable asking people, do you have investment capital or retirement funds not getting you a higher rate of return safely and securely? Because in my head or their head, they’re thinking that that person is thinking, well, that’s none of your business. Instead, I’ve got investment capital or retirement funds. So I get it. We also use what’s called the indirect method. I remember it like it was yesterday. So I came home. I mean, you know, I got those two deals under contract. My bankers kept me off. pm, I go to church on a Wednesday night.

The Bible study and I see this fella in the foyer, his name is Wayne. I walk up to him and said, what is the indirect method. I said, Wayne, I got something I want to talk to you about confidentially. After Bible study. Have you got a few minutes? Wayne says? Sure, brother Jay. So we have Bible study. We have to have announcements to open songs, the opening prayer, Bible study, invitation, closing prayer, and Amen. Now by the Amen, I look over the other side of the church building. And here comes Wayne doing like a little trot to the back of the auditorium over here to me. And he comes up to me and he says, brother Jay, what you got in mind?

You see, understood right then Wayne ain’t been listening much to the Bible study the past hour. He’s been thinking about what I got so confidential to talk to him about right. So we come down to the nursery, and we shut the door. And here’s the summary of that conversation. This is the indirect method. I said Wayne, you know every Buddy in this town, and he did, he was the zenith television dealer in Morehead City, North Carolina. Now, that dates me right there because that’s before Walmart came to town. Right. But Wayne had put televisions in everybody’s home. He put a television in every hospital room in Carteret County General Hospital.

He was involved in the Rotary Club and I told him I said, Wayne, you know, everybody in this town, and I need your help. Listen, folks, that’s a writer downer right there. The phrase, I need your help. Wayne says what you need my help with. I said, Wayne, as you know, I’ve been investing in real estate for a while. And I’m now opening up my real estate investing business to people I know and trust. I got a program that’s paying insanely high rates of return. It’s by referral only. And I need your help. When you run across somebody that’s complaining about low rates and CDs and the volatility in the stock market.

Would you refer them to me so I can tell him about my private lending programme? What do you think Wayne said? Wayne said, Well, what you got in mind there, brother Jay. I said, Well, when are you saying you and your wife might be interested? He said, well, we might be I don’t know, we might be telling what you got. And I said what kind of interest rate you pay? I said, Well depends on the deal. What sounds hard to you? He says, Well, we’re only getting like 3% in a CD. now in 2009, you could actually get 3% and a certificate of deposit. That day is 0.17%. But anyway, 3% He said, I guess five or 6%. I said why? And I can’t pay you five or 6%. But I can tell you 8%, he said Put me down for $250,000.

So that’s a summary of a 20-minute conversation. But just asking somebody for help to spread the word is naturally going to attract them if they have an interest and if they have investment capital. And not only was wine one of my very, very first private lenders, by the way, Wayne funded both of those deals that I had under contract that my banker had cut me off from. And Wayne over the years referred a lot of other private lenders to me as well. So there’s the answer to your question is summary. How’d you raise all that money so fast that 90 days I became a teacher?

Pamela Bardhi
I absolutely love that, Jay. And I love that you created value in such a beautiful way. So some people feel really salesy and gross and icky when they’re talking about raising capital. All of these things were really you frame that as like a solution to somebody’s life, you know, here’s a problem. And I have the solution. I’m here to teach you that and I love the way that you reframe that. That’s what brought you this success, which is absolutely, absolutely amazing. There’s probably people listening right now that are like, what’s the difference between private money and hard money. Because I feel like a lot of people get them confused, especially in the real estate space. So what would be your recommendation deck?

Jay Conner
Well, yeah, so the difference between hard money and private money, most of the time, hard money is a broker. Most of the time hard money is a broker of money. It’s a company or a couple of individuals that have gone out and raised money from private lenders. From the private people that we’re talking about, that we actually do business with, to invest into a fund. That’s called syndication. So those private lenders investment funds, so your hard money lender comes along. And now the hard money lender, broker money, loans, money out there real estate investors. They make a lot of their money by charging origination fees. In this world of private money.

There’s never any origination fees or points. They make the rules, just like the bank, they determine how often you’re gonna make the payments. In this water, private money, we make the rules. We set the interest rate, we set the frequency of payments, we structure deals, Pam to where we don’t even make any monthly payments until we sell the property and cash out. You think that’ll help the cash flow? My favorite reason for using private money is I always bring home a big check when I buy and I never bring any of my own money to the closing table. I mean, does it get any more beautiful than that? I mean, who wants to get paid to buy properties.

Buy a property. Now, this isn’t gonna work unless you’re buying at a discount. You gotta be buying at a discount on those properties. So we buy at a discount. I always borrow more money than I need to buy the property. So that’s how we’re bringing them a check. That’s an overage that’s excess cash to close. If I’m rehabbing. I’m bringing all my rehab money when I buy. Now let’s be very, very careful and understand this for your audience plan and that is another way that hard money and private money do not equate is this. First of all interest rates are very, very different. We set the interest rate.

But let’s be clear on this. We use private money when the seller and I don’t care if the seller is an off-market seller, a Fizbo. For Sale By Owner, no matter who the seller is a bank-owned property. When the seller requires all the cash, we use private money to buy the property. Now you got what’s called the ugly house business. That’s when you’re going to rehab we’ll use all cash for that living got what’s called the pretty house business. People that will buy on terms people you know. Real estate investors will buy with creative financing, seller financing, and buying subject to the existing new.

Well, guess what, in my experience, I’ve reviewed 1000s and 1000s of property lead sheets. In my experience, only 13% of off-market for sale by owners will spell with creative financing. The words don’t require all the cash, what are the other 87% require all the money? So we use private money for that. So whether it’s a pretty house that doesn’t need much rehab at all, or it’s an ugly house, or guess why? Pam, I’m sure some of your audience is also interested in commercial deals, small apartments, duplexes, quadplexes. Listen, folks, it’s all the same money. It’s all the same money, we just structure the deal a little bit differently on those commercial deals.

Another reason I love private money is there’s number one is the quickest way to your first real estate investing deal. Why? Because you got the money. I mean, you’re on the phone negotiating with all these people, and you got $500,000 burning a hole in your pocket. So it’s the quickest way. Secondly, there’s no hurry to pay it back. You see, with hard money, you lengthen the notice typically only six months, nine months, or a year. With private money, we borrow two years to five years, there’s no hurry to pay back. Another big reason I love private money is there’s no limit to the number of private lenders that I can be borrowing from simultaneously. I got 44.

Why is that important? Well, guess what? When I was borrowing money from the banks. There was a limit to the amount of money I could borrow, there was a limit to the number of deals I can do. And also in this photo private money, I can close quickly. I can close deals in seven days, Pam, seven days, sometimes three days. I could never close that fast with traditional institutional money. My last plan, I’m surprised anything ever closes from a traditional bank. It’s like, Do you want my w two for the fourth time? What did you do with the first three W twos that I sent you? I mean, come on, give me a break. And so it just private money just puts you so much more in control of your business?

There’s no limit to the number of deals you can do you set the rules. I mean, it just puts you in control. I mean, your credit scores got nothing to do with private money. I got a phone call yesterday from a hard money lender called me up wanting to know if I got any deals that I want to fund. And I said I always got deals that I want to fund. He says, Well, how are you going to fund them? I said with my private lenders, but I wanted to know a little bit about his programme.

Well, if I was gonna do business with that private that hard money lender, I was gonna have her show on my tax returns. Well, private lenders never asked you for your tax returns. Private lenders never want to know what your credit score is. You don’t even have to have a job. private lenders in every mass for verification of income. Why? Because private money is a collateral loan deal. Lands I am I going to preach in now gonna preach it?

What Would Jay Older Self Tell His Younger Self

Pamela Bardhi
No, I love it. I love it. Jay, I mean, you mentioned some really amazing things that people should know, especially in the private lending model. I mean, this is the biggest question in real estate money and the fun. And so I love all of that. Thank you so much for sharing that, Jay. And, you know, one of my favorite questions, and this is the question that I always love that I always ask. Which is what would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know, now, it could be business, it could be personal. It could be whatever you want it to be?

Jay Conner
Well, that’s an easy question with an easy answer, because I’ve been asked that before. Why would I tell my younger self I would tell my younger self, do not start being a real estate investor by yourself. That’s what I did. My first six years. All I did was read books, and I relied on my past experience. In the mobile home manufactured housing business. I do not recommend starting the business, I made huge mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes I made my second year as a real estate investor without getting good education from a good coach or mentor. As I bought this condo on the beach with my intention of flipping it, the market turned down, and guess what.

The amount that I can rent it out forward did not cover my carrying cost of the underlying debt and taxes, and Hoa, it was a blood bath. And if I’d started out in this business, like talking to my younger self. If I started out in this business working with somebody that was already successful in real estate investing, then I wouldn’t have made that mistake. They would have told me, Jay, you can’t do that deal. And the reason you should not do that deal is because you should always calculate. If I can’t flip it, if I can’t sell it, and I got to rent it out. Will the monthly rent cash flow positively and cover the underlying debt? That’s just one big mistake I made by not starting to work with somebody. So don’t go with this business when you’re starting out online?

Pamela Bardhi
Yes, amen. Oh, I love it. I love it. Jay, thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I mean, it takes a few deals for us to learn our lessons correct in the space. You know, as we’re getting into we’re new to the game, there’s things that we don’t know. Is planning that exit strategy really critical? Like, what happens if you don’t get what you want to do? Or the market turns or something happens? Or, you know, Can you rent it out? So I love that. I love that so much. And so Jay, what’s up in your world in the next like six to 12 months? What’s happening?

Jay Conner
Yeah, so I am on a quest. More I got a passion right now. I know how to do all this stuff, I know how to use private money. And I’m so passionate about it, Pam. I know that there are tonnes of people out there 1000s of people out there that want to start in real estate investing, or are already real estate investors. They’re just struggling, getting more funding for their deals without having to pay stupid rates like 12%. And three points and four points and all that kind of stuff to some of the hard money lenders.

So I am on a passion, I’m on a quest to make a difference. I just really enjoy helping people real estate investors get rid of this problem. I’ve got the solution. And here’s the solution. I just finished writing my brand new money guide. My money guide is called seven reasons why private money will skyrocket your real estate business and help you build incredible wealth. It’s a PDF absolutely free. It’s chock a block of information on helping anybody whether they are a new real estate investor. Or a seasoned real estate investor, get on the fast track to private money and get in control of your business.

You can download it right after the show by simply going to www.jayconner.com forward-slash money guide it’s free. It gets you on the fast track to private money, right dial never missing out on a deal because you didn’t have the money.

Pamela Bardhi
Hey, man, dang, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m just, I’m excited about your trajectory. Jay, you are such a rockstar and you’re helping so many people in the world. And I just absolutely adore who you are and all that you’re about and all that you teach. So now you’ve got to let everyone know where to find you and your awesomeness.

Jay Conner
Thank you so much, Pam, what a pleasure being with you and Carol joy. And I looked so much to be around you a lot more in the mastermind that we’re now and together.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. Jay and what’s the best way for everyone to reach you, my friend? Absolutely.

Jay Conner
So just go to jayconner.com. Our office numbers on there. You know, we actually answer the phone. You believe like I have an amazing team here. Your audience, their success is so important to me. I mean, I believe this Pam, I believe that we attract into our world, people that are like us. And since I know you and I love you, I know the kind of people that you attract into your world and the kind of audience you’ve got listening to you. I just really want to connect with them you know downloading the money guy, and at jayconner.com. If there’s any questions if there’s any support that we can all for a year from either myself or my team, pick up the phone. Give us a call.

Pamela Bardhi
Dave, thank you so much for being here today. I absolutely adored your story. I love you and Carol joy. You guys are amazing, amazing, amazing individuals and what you’re doing for the world is incredible. So thank you so so much too. So that’s it for today’s episode of underdog. catch us next week, always dropping on Thursdays. And remember, if you’re interested in real estate, or want to learn how to create more money and magic in your life, checkoutmeetwithpamela.com, and let’s chat sending you so so much love.

Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my incredible interview with the amazing Jay Conner.

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The Underdog Podcast host is none other than Pamela Bardhi. She’s rocking the Real Estate Realm and has dedicated her life as a Life Coach. She is also Forbes Real Estate Council. To know more about Pam, check out the following:

If you’re interested in elevating your life 10x, and owning your power, Pamela invites you to join her for a 15-minute call to set your goals straight and get clarity. Start building your game plan now: meetwithpamela.com