Patrick Precourt is a Personal development and small business strategic performance coach, speaker, author, athlete, MMA enthusiast, owner of The Cage fitness center in Rocky Hill, Connecticut, a husband, and a dad. His unique ability is to create massive transformation in individuals, a change that lasts even after all other efforts have failed. Where most mentors and coaches focus on “what we do” and “how we do it,” Patrick takes it further. Patrick focuses on the WHY we must do it. Listen to Patrick’s amazing journey here on the Underdog Show.
In this episode, Pamela and Patrick talked about how his success came to be. The highlights are as follows:
- What inspired Pat’s journey towards success?
- Pat’s passion.
- Pat’s diverse spaces or trajectories throughout his career?
- What is Patrick’s take on creating Change? and the things that are out of our control?
- In Patrick’s experience, what have been some of the most common themes and the obstacles people often face that stop them from getting to where they want to be?
- Coming up in Patrick’s world in the next six to 12 months?
Listen to how Patrick Precourt shares his remarkable story. Listen to the full episode here:
- Apple iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/underdog/id1534385651
- Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6FbSDu0aNtuxAEiderUAfB
- Website: https://theunderdogshow.com/
Catch up with Patrick on his social links here:
- Website: https://patrickprecourt.com/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/patrickprecourt
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patrickprecourt/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/patrickprecourt
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrickprecourt
- Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/patrickprecourt
Click To Read The Transcript
Patrick Precourt Shares His Unique Journey & Formula for Unlocking Your True Potential by Mastering your Mind
Hi, I’m Kevin Harrington, an original shark from the hit television show Shark Tank and you’re listening to the underdog podcast.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the underdog Podcast. Today I have an incredible guest who I absolutely love, Pat, Precourt is in the building my friend, how are you?
I am fantastic. Thank you, we’re looking forward to this. And here we are.
I love it. But I will say the same thing about you, you just have such a special energy. And what you bring is just so magnetic and amazing. Like you just help people get to the other side. Because oftentimes you just get stuck, we get stuck in these patterns and stuck in these things. And it’s like, you know how to take people to the next level and take all the obstacles out of the way, which is amazing.
And just like who you are, you’re just amazing and awesome and funny, just in general. That’s why I’m so pumped to get your side of the story today and hear all about you. And what you’ve been up to in the world and all the amazing things. So if I may my favorite starting question for you. What inspired you on your journey to where you are today? My friend?
Good question. Again, probably a little unorthodox, right? Because I didn’t have this I didn’t, I didn’t have this epiphany one day, like, Hey, I wanted to do this. As a matter of fact, I probably had like six epiphanies. And each one completely altered the direction I was going and what’s kind of crazy. So let’s start where I am today. Real estate will always be part of what I do.
But put aside the real estate investment side. What drives me what I’m passionate about as the work I do with clients, entrepreneurs, business owners, moms and dads, leaders in getting them to step up into the big shoes that were set aside for them. That’s what I do. I help people go from where they’re at, into their full potential. So that’s a really brief description of where I play, but that’s not where it started. You know, I went to college, I enrolled in college. I didn’t leave with a degree, but I did leave with a rugby experience that got me into rugby, craziest thing.
At the time, I’m like, Great, I’m just gonna play rugby for a while. And that came to a screeching halt. One big injury torn ACL stop changed everything and I’m like Alright. Well, I better get serious a little bit more serious about life I got back into contracting and building is what I knew how to do. I had a framing company in college so it just kind of carried on I had to make a living right. As I was getting dude I didn’t even have insurance and money to fix my knee so I couldn’t play rugby for a while.
Suddenly I guess I’m going to be a contractor for a while like this is okay I can make money here. I’m good at this stuff got my knee fixed up got back in a rugby got really good at Rugby. Started to play at really high levels got to play internationally for a little while. So, Mike, I guess I’m going to be a rugby player for a while this is good stuff. Series of bad concussions took that away overnight. Changed everything on a dime at the time I gone from contractor, which was good. But it didn’t meet my travelling schedule for rugby.
So I got involved doing home inspections and a family home inspection business. There are flexible my schedule, so like this is working out perfect. My wife and I met it at 18 years old when we’re orientation day at school right now. She didn’t like me then. But that’s when we met just to be clear.
Oh, yeah, it wasn’t until our junior year that we actually, you know, formally started dating and so forth and so on. But I’m going to advance this a little further here. So in my inspection space, I got introduced to real estate investors. And that set me on this journey of being a real estate investor. And that was a great path to be to this day, I still am an active real estate investor. We don’t do wholesales or fix and flips or short sales, which we did for a long time. We’re exclusive in the space of boutique senior living now, right which is a little niche in a niche.
But the part the biggest transition came in the middle of all this when we’re in real estate for years. Or 10 years in we got in the education space got really good. The education space was a founding member. One of the largest real estate training companies in the US quickly found something bigger something out. And you’ll get this right no matter how good our knowledge or expertise or direction. Our processing system was that we hand it over on a silver platter to people small percentage of people would be successful with it. This altered the trajectory that I was on at the time.
Education sounds really good and real estate investments really good. I’m gonna ride this one out and I don’t know how to describe it became an internal conflict with me. Now we’re charging people a lot of money. We’re giving them the best we got but few are doing something with it. So it’s a path of human behavior and under Standing why we do what we do. And has nothing to do with how smart you are and truly has nothing to do with your resources or your knowledge. Nothing to do with that, right?
And then I spent the next 12 plus years, which brings us up to now going deeper and deeper and deeper and understanding why humans do what they do. And more importantly, how to alter behavior that was a short version of up to where we are. But you asked you know what got you here? Well, I never woke up one day and said, Hey, Pat, you should be an expert in getting people results. Never did that come to mind. That was an after that description designation came after I got there. That makes sense.
Incredible. No, I love that. But I mean, honestly, you went through so many different trajectories. I mean, going from rugby, and then getting into construction. And then getting into real estate investment education. Like that’s, I think, as diverse as you possibly can, and that it’s human behavior. So let’s as diverse as you possibly can be, which I think is really cool, really, really cool. It kind of plays off each other. And we’ll get deeper into the career portion of your life and kind of how you went through and transition between all of those. But my question is, what did you want to be when you grew up? Like as a kid, what was your dream?
Didn’t have one big masterful dreamer. So to this day, I’m all about enjoying this journey, and how I’ve always been Pamela. So I never said, Hey, I’m gonna be a multimillionaire or I’m gonna have all this wealth or all this influence. That was never the objection. I’ll take if people are listening, and they want a really, really insightful takeaway that I learned, probably late in my 40s. Mid-40s. I’m 54. Now, When I stopped trying to do everything for me, and focus on doing things for other people. Allowing other people to grow. Yep, universe opened up and poured into me. And then possibly imagine, just when, again, I couldn’t have gotten to that point of recognition without going too hard path. And I just happened to be a slow learner.
Nothing wrong with that.
Maybe a little cocky and arrogant at times. Because hey, I know this, I got this figured out. So I don’t learn some of this stuff right away and took me later on in my 40s. Realize that if I start making them out other people Pamela. Then everything I need or want in this universe comes. craziest happening but go back one step right. To what you want. And your dream your purpose. Because as adults, and you and I are adults and our listeners, I’m guessing most of them are adults here. That becomes a challenge. We wake up on the relationship. I’m halfway through this journey. And I don’t really know what
or where I’m going. Yeah,
What’s my purpose? And that comes up all the time. Then we start asking ourselves what seems like a logical, helpful question. But it’s really a dead-end question we asked so Well, who am I in? Now? It seems like that’s a smart question. Ask yourself, look yourself in the mirror. Okay. Who are you right? Now? Here’s the challenge. I was asking myself that my entire life. Because things kept changing for me. I didn’t throw in. Besides rugby, post rugby. I stepped into an MMA fighting cage at 42 years old. Well, how does that happen? How does that make any sense? Yeah, hold that aside for a second.
That doesn’t make any sense, I get that. I understand that. Okay, I also started a full-blown MMA gym at what I call the lifestyle fitness center. But he’s the heart and culture of our martial art or MMA about that same time. We’ve had now since 2012, but push that aside for a second. And go back to the question, Who am I when we ask ourselves that question. We run into a bit of a conundrum because it forces us to go like this. Who am I? And we go like this? Oh, where have I been? All we can do is let where we’ve been determined who we are. Which brings us up to here but that’s not the question we’re asking.
We’re looking for insight and how to go forward. Which way we should be headed what we should be looking into what we should focus on. So learn the question is not who am I? To question and this one opens up the world and every morning it’s a good question as stare nightmare. Go, hey, Pam Who do I got to become today? Now, boom, the world is our oyster. And we start looking at well, man, I want to do this and I want to do this and I want to become this. So now I’m starting to realize I got to start stepping up into this next set of shoes that I’m designed to wear.
But at least it gives us a foreign-looking for direction and not a dead end by who am I? Here’s something that I share with people that I tried to put in words that makes sense to us. The best way I can describe it is this the mind that got us here. Awesome, Excellent, great, but won’t get us there. It’s limited to its past. So in order to go forward, we’ve got to let go part of who we are. And leaving in the past that makes room for who we’ve got to become nice and easy part to swallow sometimes.
No, because I mean, all of us get stuck one way or another somewhere, somehow. And your mindset is just absolutely incredible, Pat. So I mean, I’d love to dive into to like, what has your journey been like to find these amazing answers? That got you to be able to help all of these people. And what that strategy looks like and how you help them get there and remove those obstacles. Help them remove the obstacles that they often we often put. Because I’m guilty of all of them in front of our own selves.
And we don’t even realize that we’re holding our own cells back sometimes. As you said, a lot of the time, we have to kind of almost reverse a lot of things within us to keep moving forward. Sometimes that’s not easy. It’s like, No, I’m comfortable here. Like, I don’t want to, you know, I’m good. Right? And we stunt our growth that way.
So all great questions, so I’ll share some with you. And I know it’s not gonna sound comfortable. But we can’t change our mindset, let that sit for a second mindset is pretty clear. And it’s titled, mindset, it’s set. The reason being is our mindset, stay with madness. Our mindset is a lag indicator of our belief system. What we believe is reflected in our minds. So I think it was Henry Ford, who said, this won’t be exactly right. But if you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, either way, you’re one.
Well, if you believe you can’t, then your mindset is going to reflect your actions, are going to reflect the combination of your beliefs and your mindset. And you can’t our vision board that and you can’t out mantra that. You’ve been in this business, and this is part of your space right here. So I know you know this true, like in the last five years, it seems like everybody, every guru out there has become like a mindset expert.
Oh, god. Yeah,
The challenge is,you can’t fix a belief problem with a mindset solution. Yet, that’s all they got for tools. They don’t understand the connection between the two. And what you had asked earlier was a brilliant question. So how do we create change? Now, it is almost impossible to outperform a belief system. It’s human, right? Because their belief system is responsible for everything from our thinking. And our emotions and our feelings and our decisions and our actions.
And it happens all at the subconscious level. So we’re not in control of it. We’re like, I know how to do it. I know what to do. I know it’s good for me, I want the result, I still can’t do it. It’s hard. Jim has become like a human laboratory. For me, you asked how I have learned some of the, you know steps or procedures or constructs of the tools to change human behavior. Well, there’s no industry that fails at a higher rate than the health and fitness industry. And that’s just a fact of life, right?
Everybody wants the end result, how to get there is not unknown. We have this great tool called Google that gives you everything you need to know. Whether it be your diet, whether it be your workout. Whatever it is, you need to accomplish the goal, you want to know how to do it. You know what to do you want the result. You know, it’s good for you still don’t do the behavior consistently to produce the results. That’s the area that I expertise, that’s where I practice today. That’s why I didn’t do it intentionally. But that’s where I ended up that kind of makes sense.
That’s amazing. MMA, 42. And then you started your own gym. Then that branched off into this whole thing, which is remarkable, rarely markable. It almost ties back to kind of where you were because I feel like you’ve always been an athlete. But that’s what it seems like that you’ve always like rugby. And then just like always hands-on down and dirty. Like ready to go like construction, real estate, investing all the things. Then getting into MMA kind of, it’s just funny. It’s so cool to see the web of our lives, and how certain things have correlated. How they’ve affected future decisions.
That’s why I always ask question like, what did you want to be as a kid? Because like, for me, I always wanted to be on stage and I wanted to be like Britney Spears. And that was like my dream as a kid. Like, I was like, I want to be like Britney Spears, I want to sing and dance. And I want to help people smile and entertain them. Like, help them that was always like my thing. So it’s interesting to see how the webs in your life have kind of correlated and connected which is super cool. It makes perfect sense as to where you are in today.
Because I feel like with athletics comes this whole mindset. I mean, you know, athletes have this discipline. Unlike any other human being on planet Earth. And like they are just driven and they’re ready to go and they’re ready to rock and roll and like their mindset is always like, I’m gonna get it done. We’re gonna do this, we’re gonna crush this. Because it’s like the competitiveness and a whole mix of other things. So I just think it’s so cool seeing the connection should kind between all your things. And how they all really are truly connected together your journey.
I’ll share a little magic in there, right? And then I want to go back to the purpose part for a second. A little magic right from the outside looking in. It looks like discipline. It looks like wow, he’s very regimented. He’s ruthlessly disciplined. He’s out there in the pouring rain doing what he’s doing, or he’s up at 5am, punching a bag or whatever. It’s less about discipline. And it’s a lot more about having meaning in what you do.
What you do matters. It’s not just a superficial goal that you’re trying to put up on a board. Because you think that’s what they think you should be going for. Yeah, then you’re gonna need a bit of discipline. Discipline, doing what you have to do when you have to do it, even though you don’t want to. That’s the essence of discipline. But what it means enough to you, you do not need this. As a matter of fact, you’ll need an army of soldiers to keep you from doing that thing.
So if people are struggling by trying to get something done, we have to always have set a goal, to me are phenomenal. I love using gold, but there are tools that ways to measure progress. There’s what we, what we want, what we want is in the answer of what is the result of the result. Meaning what we get once we achieve that goal. And often that’s usually in somehow it’s we’ve become someone different. And that’s where we find true meaning.
Once we anchor it to the meaning we become unstoppable. We’re forced to be dealt with you find someone that is focused, right and purposeful, and anchored in their meaning. That’s a person you do not want to get way up. Because they will find a way through over under around they will get to where they’re going no matter what. That makes sense.
Amen, I love that. I absolutely love that Pat. Oh my god, let’s keep going man I love I love your flow and your energy. I freaking love it. I’m like just sitting here taking notes for myself.
What is Patrick’s Purpose
So let’s go back to purpose that right? Yeah, it’s easy to get hung up on so she said I’m 54 years old. So officially I’m like halfway right? I don’t fret the future. I don’t fret getting older, I don’t fret dying, I don’t. Because there’s no reason to worry about shit that is outside of my control. My job is to enjoy the journey. Now follow me in this part is really important. Because you’re like pat on my purpose. Some people lose their minds. And this often will push them into this something that’s like a midlife crisis and do all this crazy stuff. Let me reframe this a little for you. There’s this paradox in self fulfillment. And becoming all we can be reaching our potential no paradox is this right?
If our purpose is reaching our full potential, for the sake for lack of better words. Understand that as we move towards our potential, we take more action. We get more life experience, we get more wisdom, we get more education. Our progress forward into what I call the discovery process. Which I’ll explain in a second, right, enhances our potential. As we move towards our potential, our potential is getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. So in effect, it’s impossible to fully self-actualize our potential. So you’re sure that aren’t we kind of screwed them like no.
Because our focus should never be on that full self-actualization that just provides guidance. Or the focus has got to be on the journey itself and got to bring it back home. Stop playing and living in the future somewhere the space is made up as false. It’s imaginative, it’s fiction. It’s a space that we can’t do anything about. And when we play in the future, we don’t go there to have fun. We go there to fret and worry and stress and angst about what could happen, what might happen.
And the more we play there, and the more we realize, we can’t change the future, we can’t control the future because it doesn’t even exist. Now we don’t acknowledge is, like, in a conscious way, we start realizing now that we are out of control. And there’s nothing worse than being out of control, bring it back home into the present. It’s a space that we are in control. We can actually affect anything and everything around us. By just getting present again, you’re following me and us
I’m loving it.
And this is a big challenge that people have were worried about what could happen in the future and all this. Listen, there’s a purpose for you but you won’t know your purpose to work done the journey and look back and feel okay with that. Come back here and appreciate this discovery piece. I’m going to explain to you if I look backward Pamela. I look at all the different pieces I’ve gone through even on you know, right before that MMA stuff. I see right before that about five years before that. I got knocked out a rugby permanently doctors but you can never play rugby again.
I was playing at an international level a series of bad concussions, you do that again, you may become a vegetable. And it got taken overnight, which bothered me. Whenever no one ever us as humans have something taken from us or we’re wrong, we get angry, and I get angry. But there wasn’t anyone to point that anger at noon is not the proper response. There’s really no one helping me with it either. So I brought it back into business. And frankly, on the outside, it looks like our business was doing awesome. But has done a very destructive way. I push it push and push and push to broke again.
So I could fix the damn thing, just so I could push it to the next limit to break again. And so hurting all the people around me. I’m aware of all this. I didn’t know all this was happening. That was my life. In the moment. One day, my son who’s 11 At the time, stead Jim opened up down the road that’s been fired. I quit everything athletic. For five years, I didn’t do a freaking thing because I was so angry at anything to do with it kind of crazy. And someone asked me if I can go, I can breathe out and check out this gym place called the lion’s den. It was a martial arts gym and a fitness gym. In a second I went in there. This was a bit of an epiphany and Epiphany just being when we finally get to our truth.
When we scrape back all the bullshit and see us for what’s really happening. Right, man, I’ve been a really crappy role model for a kid, my wife, anybody that I influenced around me, I gotta fix us. So got a family membership to the gym. You went up, it just happened to be a gym that had martial arts in it. One thing led to another and one day I end up doing a little jujitsu and somehow noticed there was MMA down there. And asked how to get involved in that one thing led to another. And that led to get into a cage fight for the first time at 42 years old. Which then led to opening my own gym because this one ended up closing down.
We had to go somewhere you ever have an emotional of all this? Yes. Okay. Appreciate this. My coach at the time was a pat, we got a problem gyms shutting down, we got 30 or 40 guys on our team here, men and women. What do I do? This Brazilian guy speaks pretty much broken English. I’m like, no problem. I got it. I got a great idea. How about, we open a gym together? you do all the gym stuff? And I’ll do the business stuff. And this will just be awesome. What do you think they said, sweet. Of course, this was seconds of thinking that went into this.
There’s no real thing. It didn’t make any sense to do this. But we went into it. And the idea was we’re gonna open this little 3000 square foot dojo. It’s kind of like, I’m going to keep the family together, it’s going to be so cute, you know. And then after getting into the business side, I realized there’s a reason why most martial artists are flat broke because their model sucks. The model is terrible. We expanded and brought in a fitness part to the model and to the 3000 square feet in that 15,000 square feet and lifestyle fitness centre. But it had the genuine heart and culture of our martial arts that drove us you know. So anyways, that’s how that piece all fit in there, and it’ll lose kind of way.
So back to purpose and back to the word discovery. I’m an absolute believer in the fact that we don’t know what we don’t know. And the only way we’re going to know it is to discover it. To discover it is to step into the abyss of the unknown. To go experience and do things we’ve never done before so that we can get the wisdom and insight that we need at the moment. And when I look back on my journey, Pam every piece of the way, it was another sharp turn in another direction. But in that was revealed more wisdom and insight. I needed to move forward to start shaping me into the guy I’m capable of becoming.
So as we try to answer that question, what is my purpose? Our purpose is to constantly be discovering who we’re meant to be. And if we sit back and fear or fret or even regret looking backward. It will get in the way of ever fulfilling the shoes that are sitting there waiting for each of us to step up into
Amen Pat. I mean, you mentioned a lot of things that really, really hit home where we live so often and especially entrepreneurs. We are the number one culprits of this, of living in the future. And I can’t tell you I mean most of like my, my teenage life. Probably until I was about 21 that’s what actually till I was about 25, that’s what exactly what I was doing. I had the hardest time appreciating the now because I was so focused on being here and here and here. And I remember like when I hit my first like seven-figure year and I was like this is what I worked for.
This is like what I planned for and I did all the things and like it was super cool. It was super cool for like a day or two, and then it’s like, I gave up a lot to get there. You know, and it’s like, what really matters is the now
Back in the owner heavy into real estate. And this is in that period of time post rugby pre-MMA. First time, we started doing seven-figure years, right? We’re not going to get to 1000s. What I’ve learned in hindsight, Doesn’t matter if you get there or not, when it’s not done. You don’t get to keep it. And you will have to rebuild living example of it. Because the first time up the ladder wasn’t done. Therefore it was not sustainable. It’s not something I could lean into and keep building upon. Took some shortcuts, did some things that, as I said, we push the business and the business from a revenue position to awesome. But we did it all the wrong way. It’s not sustainable.
And I hurt good people along the way. So guess what the rewards of that get, they go out the window, as they should, and force you to look back, learn, grow, and do it again. But start doing things the right way, then I gotta stop doing things just for this guy. And start leading other people by if I can help people cross this bridge from where they’re at, to what they’re capable becoming. Then I’ll get everything out of this world that I want. It just keeps flowing. Now Craziest thing?
It really is, well, that’s exactly what happened in my world, too. You know, it’s like, you get to these numbers, and everyone starts working towards the money. Sometimes a lot of the time the motivators the money. And then you get to that point. It’s like, then you’re kind of like, okay, this is cool. Now what, right? Like there’s nothing like changing the game, and focusing on helping the world and the universe really does pour into you, which is incredible.
The works that you do is so remarkable because you’re helping people get to where they want to be. And I know I mean, I’m sure with your clients and everything. You’ve had quite a few different experiences and stories. But what have been some of the most common themes and the common obstacles that people often face that stopped them from getting to where they want to be.
A big two obvious ones. One being fear, and then one succeeding, but on a goals shaped around achievement alone. So do the easy one first very fear, and we kind of touched on it a bit. Fear has a bad rap. We think fear is bad, we retract round fear, we contract around fear. It is anchored in one thing, if people could wrap their brains around this, it simplifies it. Fear is always anchored around one thing and one thing only the unknown. We don’t know if we’re gonna lose, be judged, fail, whatever. Whatever title you want to put on it. It’s not knowing, and we’re human behavior such that we’d love certainty we wallow in uncertainty like when we thrive in certainty.
And if we can appreciate that, unlike our predisposition around change, our predisposition being all change goes from good to worse. It’s just in our blood, our subconscious thought we’re going to change, things are going to get worse. If we can get past that appreciate that change. More times, not go from good, to better. But there’s unknown in the process, just like discovery, there’s a lot of unknown. And with that comes an inherent amount of fear. But if we can, in context, understand the relationship we can also understand that doesn’t make fear a bad thing. It makes fear an opportunistic thing.
Wait Time Out fear by what am I afraid of right now? Where’s the unknown? And how can I step into it? There’s a little book. It’s called flinch. And I think it’s like a giveaway on Amazon. And it’s the metaphors are built around boxing. But really what it says is that if you take a boxer and a non-boxer. The boxer throws a punch at the non-boxer, right, the non-boxer the layperson will naturally step back and flinch away.
Whereas if a boxer throws a punch at another boxer, the receiving of the punch, they don’t just slip it, they’ll lean into it. And leaning into it collapses the space. It takes away all the power in the punch and puts me in a perfect position to counter punch to respond not have to react over into life. Opportunity shows up. It’s different into the unknown, our immediate response is we flinch, we step back.
But what that’s done is it’s put us out of range of responding to the opportunity. So another one just floats right on by and such as life and it continues and we make a habit of contracting around fear instead of leaning into fear. That metaphor there may make sense when I explained it that way.
Absolutely. I love that. Yeah, because we’re taught to kind of our instinct is to back up and kind of react or just try to shut it out altogether. Which Is the counterintuitive. So obviously, if that happens, you’re you are literally stuck. You’re not in a position to be on neutral ground to be able to strike back to or even realize what was coming at.
You don’t even get to take a look at it goes exactly.
You just shield. It’s incredible because the mind is a very powerful thing if the minute you started to be afraid of something, it’s like you shut down. You go into survival mode and your mind just kind of, I’m under attack kind of thing. Whereas if you just kind of learned to kind of step forward and just wait, you never know.
Absolutely and respond and the response could be not a good opportunity for me now, great pullback out, no big deal. But at least we had the opportunity to respond and was on our terms. Now. It’s not on the attacker’s terms. That’s the big takeaway. So it’s partly fear and pain together just both are misunderstood words. And both were taught as children that they’re both bad. Pain is a little more, it’s a little more powerful. It has more insight for so look at pain as the universe’s way of getting our attention. And delivering the most insightful wisdom it possibly can in the moment.
That’s the real pain plays in our life, mentally, emotionally, physically. So look at it physically, you’re jogging down the road, you twist your ankle pain shoots up your leg and university and stop. Take the weight off the leg, so you don’t make it worse. How do we deal with pain, pain, bad, make it go away now. So we invest to size it as quickly as possible. If we had a shot of cortisol in our pocket, that runner would inject your ankle with cortisol. The pain would go away, they continue running down the road. And naturally what would then happen, because they went against the wisdom of the universe. That ankle would get damaged, worse and worse and worse, to maybe could permanently not run again.
Physical pain is easy, right? It’s the emotional mental pain, though, that gets a little more confusing. Where we’re dealt that every single day, but we do the same thing. We move to exercise if we distracted, we smoke it away, we drink it away, and we get into bad habits. So we don’t have to deal with it. When in fact, universe is saying, hey, dum dum, Stop, listen, stop doing this and start doing this. We get the exact insight we need. Right then if we just paid attention, Pamela, but Western civilization, Western medicine? No, let’s make our pain go away. And let’s not treat the cause. Let’s just cover up the symptoms right now. Will you hate this day? Dangerous space to be in right there?
Absolutely. And that’s where you see a lot of our society. I mean, oh, my God, I was reading stats the other day that and this was about the shootings. Like what’s happening like mental health and American shooting situations have basically tripled since 2018. That is a sure sign that our mental health and awareness right now are at its all-time worst. And we’re not solving the problem through anything else. But like, what is the root of it?
As you said, it’s those suppressed emotions? It’s all the things on the internal side? And how, how can we heal that? And essentially, that, like, how can we get out of our own way? How do we overcome those obstacles so that we don’t self-medicate and go into this world of, sadness? Which ultimately leads to a lot of things, you know, fear, resentment, depression, all of the things.
Question. Yeah. That, you know, as it relates to that, like situation, and then that particular mental health that is just showing up in our kids. The challenge that we’re doing as a country is we’re just trying to invest to size it. The symptoms, we’re not dealing with causations at all right? causation is take work, we got to go in deep, we got to, we got to do some work. And it’s a law. It’s got a long runway, it ain’t gonna happen overnight. But no doubt, we know exactly what we need to do, Pamela, but we’re unwilling to do it. And when I say us, we’re not talking about us as people. I don’t care what political spectrum you sit on, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian doesn’t matter. We’re willing to do the work.
It’s our leaders that are the problem. But let’s, let’s not get lost in that conversation. Yeah. Now bring it back home. Let’s bring the idea of emotional intelligence for a second. All right, rational intelligence in its simplest form. It’s being aware of our emotions, and then being able to manage our emotions. So humans are emotion, emotional, and emotions are good. And I see all emotions as good because they either feel good, or they’re giving us information that is good. It’s one of the other.
How is anger, Goodwill? There’s a reason why you’re angry, right? Let’s just stop and figure this stuff out. It’s not a bad emotion in and of itself until we use it badly and that would be the end. The response of the emotion. So if we can appreciate that our emotions sit in our subconscious. And every thought has an emotion tied to it. When we think something, it pulls that emotion up into the conscious, and now we feel what we were thinking. Now we’re thinking and feeling and feeling and thinking up until we act on those feelings and thoughts. And that’s usually how we play it out.
Well, emotional intelligence allows us to be aware of what we’re thinking and feeling. And if the action that’s about to happen is not in alignment, with. Like, are good outcomes, where you can go stop, timeout, pause, and we can put a new thought, new emotion, resulting in a different action. That’s compliant and congruent with the results that we want. That’s the most simplest way I can explain emotional intelligence. As it relates to just us individually without relating from an individual to others.
Our emotions, and then managing them and not letting our emotions make decisions for us done in 1000 times in my life. Yeah, like a slow learner. If I ask others, have you ever said anything in a state of elevated anger? As the words were leaving your mouth? You wish you could take back? Yeah, absolutely. And that’s letting emotions affect your decision-making and action-taking and not stepping above practice of emotional intelligence. So stop saying that is not good for you. It’s not good for the one you love, which is standing in front of you.
Stop focus on what you want to see as an outcome. Make a new, connected, new thought was a new emotion, new feeling that will result in an action that moves you towards that outcome. That’s emotional intelligence. But our kids aren’t taught that US adults aren’t taught that. We have to seek this stuff out on our own, and see, hey, that makes sense, and dive deeper into that. But that would be one of the long-term salvation to recovering our mental health in our country. Start teaching this in kindergarten, instead of focusing on just IQ, intellectual intelligence, let’s bring EQ emotional intelligence into schooling. Which is completely void of, it’s crazy to me, but we see the outcomes in this stuff, you know, Pam,
Right. Absolutely. It’s just crazy, there’s so many things. But emotional intelligence is definitely one of the biggest things and how you get out of your own way. Because it’s, you know, what is triggering the response that you’re giving to something. There’s something going on that you’re reacting in a specific type of way and learn. What is that and get to the root of that, clear that and then move on. And then that’s how you start to get past these obstacles in your own way. But to be aware of them is the first step right?
You’re aware. And then if you have a trigger that always pulls up a bad emotion that’s in your way, simply remap the trigger. I’ll give you an example. And I know again, slow learner, right takes you a while. But I used to have a challenge sometimes on the highway with more drivers, okay. I love it. I let them get under my skin. An example would be and I get on off and I did somebody cut me off. After I’ve been waiting in line and I’m on the horn. I’m giving them the finger of dude, I’m being a moron myself.
And then we get to the end of the exit, he goes right and I go lef. I go home and I’m still in this elevated emotional state. I go home, and I open the door in my house and I walk in. You know, flows into the room before I even get in all that negative emotional energy. It overwhelms my wife and overwhelms my kid. And I my kids, and I go in and say, Hey, Annie, and she responds in a tonality. But her tonality was a response to my energy. Yes, tonality I don’t like and immediately were triggered and fired up and fighting was not what I wanted.
So I can go back and map this out differently and reassociate the emotions that go along with getting cut up. I could realize factory speaking that that dude never saw me didn’t hit me. And I am the luckiest human being in the world because I’m up here on the road. So I’m not down in the gutter. I am going to make it home, I am going to hug my wife. I am going to hug my kids. This is fabulous, roll down on Windows, turn up the music. And Hey, guy, man have a great freaking afternoon.
I can create that emotion out of that exact same trigger through tools and emotional intelligence. Just remap the trigger to where it serves me. And when you think about it, why would you not remap all your triggers in a way that serves you that produces the desired results and outcomes that you want? Why would you want anything other than that right? stuff inside there?
A powerful absolutely your emotional reaction to so many things affects your mindset. Which then affects your energy and your energy is everything in this life. Everything in this life, it attracts and retracts all the things you want and don’t want at the same time. But you choose, you choose. And that’s the magical thing. But I think awareness is definitely like you mentioned the very first thing. Then we realise, oh, what can I proactively do to change these types of reactions? Now that I’m aware of the reactions? And that I’m not just kind of falling into it every single time? It’s preclinical, the human mind is so powerful in two different ways.
In the positive and the negative, it just depends which one you’re aware of. You just let life slide and you continue, your mind is just going to do its own thing, and you’ll be pulled to other people’s energy. Whereas you know, you can always control your own if you’re aware. So that’s the first step. I love that you are amazing, my friend, you’re absolutely amazing. Now, in your world, what are you up to in the next six to 12? Months?
Yeah, so all the stuff we’re talking about right can get a little complicated. Quite frankly, it could get a little, you know, what I call fluffy, like grey, non-tangible. So what I’ve done is I’ve taken all of this space, and boiled it down and made it really simple, tangible, black and white, like putting levers on a machine. So it becomes very predictable, and how to alter our behavior to produce results. And so I use a very simple formula with clients. You’ll love this Pamela, You take your capacity, which is your knowledge, your expertise, your information, and your ability to act on it plus your actions equal your results. Okay, that’s the formula. It’s the only formula we have to work with here. And everything we do very results centric.
So we start with the results. What are the results that you want to seek that you want that you don’t currently have? Let’s reverse engineer, what are the actions needed to get there. And let’s start working your actions compliant with those actions. Now, go one step below that in order to consistently produce the actions. We’ve got to create those actions in a form of habits. So now we get into habit, destruction and construction.
And underlying the habit would be our belief system. But we don’t have to worry about all that we just have to follow a very simple process.
All of this is automated underneath. Because it’s created out of the execution of changing our belief systems. And putting that the new beliefs compliant with the behavior compliant with the habits we’re going to form to produce the new results. That’s a mouthful. But does that make sense? When I say that?
Yes, I think it’s amazing. It’s amazing your process and how you navigate through it. And I love that you keep it simple and always break it down. But honestly, I think it’s amazing. This is why you transform lives. Because done this work. It’s a process that works, which is incredible. And I wanted to ask you, so for the last question is one of my favorites. Which is what would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know, now? Do your mic drop moment?
Yeah. So it may not be that much of a mic drop, right? There’s experiences I’ve had like all of us, That at the moment, were ruthlessly painful, regretted decisions I made that got me into those moments. And on hindsight, Pamela, I would never go back and change those. Okay, the wisdom I would share with me back then, enjoy the shitty stuff more. Because it’s what’s making the biggest difference in your life right now.
Embrace it, enjoy. You don’t have to suffer through it. You have to own it, be responsible for be held accountable for it. But you don’t have to suffer through it. Because it’s going to play. It’s going to play a role in your life bigger than you can ever, ever imagine. You know, when I was getting ready for my first cage fight. I was in a locker room and I was fighting on the team for the lion’s den and we had seven other fighters out. And one of my mates was out fighting and I was the last fight of the night was like 11 o’clock at night. Really weird being that late getting ready to fight and so my entire team is out there was the only one in this locker room at this event centre.
It was dark in there and I’m sitting up on the table nervous is all could be my legs are just dangling. I’m just sitting there alone, right? And this gentleman walks into the locker. I’d never met him before and I didn’t even really follow UFC or any of that kind of stuff. It wasn’t my thing, you know, but he leans into me, Pam leans. He puts his hand on my leg and then he goes, Pat, you know, I’ve been paying attention you fallen? You bet it’s amazing what you’re doing here. I bet I’m going to share something with you that you’re not going to not going to get right now.
But it’ll make sense later. He says right now you’re worried about a fight out. In that case, you’re worried about the opponent, but how strong, how Young, fast. You worry about all the people that are here to watch you fighting and they you don’t want to let them down. You’re worried about all of your strategy, your preparation, everything. But the truth is, that’s not the fight. The fight you got to be focused on right now is this fight right here. Because what happens here is going to be reflected out there.
You gotta win this one first, if you want any chance to win in that one next. Now, I was in the wallet back to day one fan when I was young. At least out of an age that I can embrace that wisdom, I would tell me back then. That bit of advice that I didn’t get till I was 42 years old, it didn’t sink in for a couple of years later. But today, I apply that to everything. The fight is gonna get one here first, so we can go out there and win it there. Second,
That’s a total Mic drop. Are you kidding me that’s amazing. I freaking love that. And I just love what you’re up to, and who you are your journey. Your processes and everything that you’re doing to help people get to the next level in their lives. And you know, causing this amazing ripple effect throughout the planet. Because one person’s decisions could affect so many and it continues and continues to elevate out. Now, Pat, where can everybody find you and your awesomeness and all of that.
So really, really easy to find any of the social media channels, just my name Patrick Precourt. And if, if you want to go to my website, it’s just patrickprecourt.com. There’s a really cool ebook called Live big ebook there. If anybody wants to just a fun read to read through. It’s just about how to live an expanded life, you know, challenges us and a lot of stuff that we’re talking about here. But easier to find it when you go on the internet, you’ll find two Patrick Precourt. One my son and one’s neighbor, you shouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
That you’re amazing. Thank you so much for being here today and your wisdom, your journey. Everything you shared with us is incredible. So I’m just so grateful for you, my friend. And thank you. So that’s it for today’s episode of underdog. Catch us next week, always dropping on Thursdays. And remember, if you’re interested in real estate. Or want to learn how to create more money and magic in your life. Check out meetwithpamela.com and let’s chat sending you so so much love
Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my incredible interview with the amazing Patrick Precourt.
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The Underdog Podcast host is none other than Pamela Bardhi. She’s rocking the Real Estate Realm and has dedicated her life as a Life Coach. She is also Forbes Real Estate Council. To know more about Pam, check out the following:
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