Samara Lane

A certified coach specializing in Relationship Anxiety? That’s Samara Lane for you, and she’ll be our guest for this week’s episode. Samara works with anyone whose in a relationship, engaged or married, and doubting whether they’ve chosen the right partner. She helps clients commit confidently and have a happier relationship than they ever thought possible, all while staying true to themselves.

In this episode, Pamela uncovers Samara’s journey to success. Among the highlights are:

– Samara’s inspiration on her journey to where she is today?

– How did Samara break down the impostor syndrome?

– What was Samara’s previous job, and how did she transition from her full-time job to her coaching business?

-Samara’s tips when it comes to anxiety?

– What would Samara’s older self tell her younger self based on what she knows now?

Listen to how Samara Lane shares her remarkable story. Listen to the full episode here:

– Apple iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/underdog/id1534385651

– Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6FbSDu0aNtuxAEiderUAfB

– Website: https://theunderdogshow.com

If you found this story worth your time and made changes in your life, we’d love to hear from you! Subscribe and leave a review.

Catch up with Samara on her social links here:

– Website: https://samaralane.com

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachsamaralane

– LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samara-lane

– Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/consciouscoachingnw

Get the free mini-course 3 Keys to Ending Relationship Doubt: samaralane.com/3keys

The Underdog Podcast host is none other than Pamela Bardhi. She’s rocking the Real Estate Realm and has dedicated her life as a Life Coach. She is also Forbes Real Estate Council. To know more about Pam, check out the following:

– Website: https://pamelabardhi.com

– Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pamela_bardhi

– TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@pamela_bardhi

Click To Read The Transcript

Samara Lane Shares Her Journey to Becoming a Successful Life Coach & Relationship Expert

Kevin Harrington
Hi, I’m Kevin Harrington, an original shark from the hit television show Shark Tank and you’re listening to the underdog podcast

Pamela Bardhi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the underdog podcast today I have an awesome guest here with me Samira, how are you?

Samara Lane
I’m so good. Thank you so much for having me. Happy to be here.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh my god, it’s such an honor to have you I mentioned I was like reading your backstory like she is that Donald badass. I can’t wait to hear your story in full detail. Like, oh, I just love it. I just I adore your energy already, and just can’t wait to hear everything about your story. But the main question that I’ll lead with. Which is what inspired you on your journey to where you are today? This one always throws everybody for a loop. Because it’s like such a loaded question. But it feels like it’s, it encompasses all the things. So tell me, my friend.

Samara Lane
Yes, happily. So what started my journey to where I am today, I was sitting in my backyard and on the phone with a psychic actually. One of my mentors from back in the day super cool woman. She was like, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And she said, Well, if you could do anything and get paid for it, and you could just do whatever you wanted, what would you do? Which is a really good question, by the way. And I said, I think I would help people work through problems, maybe be a mediator, I don’t know, something like that. I have no idea. I’m really just like, oh, like a life coach.

And I thought was that what’s the life coach? So I started looking it up and it totally resonated. Anyone here who’s familiar with the coaching industry, it’s like been booming for years now. So I joined the life coaching world. As I started then I spent about I’m not kidding three years, not really going all in. And freaking out and having impostor syndrome and sitting on the fence and thinking. Should I really do this why don’t want invest too much money and then fail and my family will be in a bad space? We also were having our first kid at that time, so lots of moving parts.

So working my full time very full-time day job, lots of fears and lack and scarcity. Until I read like my little moment where I was like, okay. Screw all of that I’m done after reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I think it is such a good one. And I was like, oh, yeah, of course. I haven’t done anything yet, I don’t believe in myself. Okay. So that’s all we need to do a huge, huge wake-up call for me. They’re invested in my business in a really big way that I hadn’t before. And just went all in and was like, I’m never quitting. I’m all in I’m doing this until it’s happened and here I am.

Pamela Bardhi
Amazing. Look at you go. Oh, my goodness, so many things that resonated with me as well. A lot of people ask me, like, Pam, how did you get super hyper-successful? And I’m just like, well, there’s been a lot of things in my spiritual journey. A lot of mentors, psychics, and mediums, a lot of people who’ve helped guide me throughout this path. Because it’s almost like you said, it feels like this imposter syndrome. But you feel like the external validation to ask outwardly to make this happen. And it’s like, I know, a lot of women can relate to this because we’re just chronic overthinkers.

But like, it’s just so funny that we had the same parallel because I was in that same boat to what do I want to do? What do I have to do? I had a major transition from real estate development into getting into like coaching and consulting space. Which was super uncomfortable for me. Because I was like, I had an insanely successful career in the real estate development space. And I’m like, no building properties. Like, it’s a huge moneymaker. For me, I’m comfortable and all that.

And all of a sudden, I get pulled into this different realm. Because I’m meant to elevate and it’s like, you sit there and you’re just like. What am I supposed to do? Right? Like? You mentioned a couple of things in there, which we’ll dive into. How did you break that impostor syndrome for yourself? And then kind of go all in for a full-time job into that. But before we get into that, I really want to know what did you want to be when you grew up? As a kid?

Samara Lane
As a kid? Oh, my gosh, that’s a good question. I literally wanted to be a secretary. When we played me and my head three girlfriends were super tight when we were little. And when we played like grown-ups with our babies in the basket. And whenever I was everyone’s Secretary like. I was really like the operations manager of the lawyer and the doctor and the other people. What’s funny is that was my first career. That’s what I first did I begged and begged and pleaded for this operation like a super high-stress Operations Manager position.

Anyone who’s worked in operations knows it’s like chaos every day. And that’s for a multimillion-dollar house cleaning company in the Seattle area, and I was there for 14 years. So that’s what I wanted to be when I grew up. I did that for 14 years. It was amazing. And in some ways that really inspired me to do what I do now just working with people managing a staff, all of that. Love that piece of it.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s so well listening if you think about it, the school secretary was like, everybody’s lifesaver. Yeah, totally. Oh, getting into the coaching and kind of bulk, or let’s look at that. You’re still the superheroes? Secretary? Yeah.

Samara Lane
Yes. When I was seven, I didn’t want to, I didn’t know what life coaching was. And I didn’t have that ambition. So I think also, what was part of my imposter syndrome was like, so many people seem just always to have this dream and this vision. They knew exactly where they were going, what they wanted to do, and where they wanted to be when they grew up. And I didn’t always have that, I was like, I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t have any passions or hobbies going right now put a lot of my worth onto that. Really, it’s all good. Like, exactly what we need to be doing in our life is going to reveal itself in divine timing. Exactly what we need to know we got to do.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely, I just love how it correlates. If you said if you think about it like I was trying to find the parallels of like. Where somebody is now and what they wanted to be as a kid. And it’s like, there’s a correlation for you. The Secretary was like the lifesaver that, like helped everybody, would greet everybody and like, help. You know, I remember my school secretaries. Like they were the bomb. I loved hanging out with them. Like, they helped everyone they made everyone smile. And like work through anytime anyone had a problem. They went to the Secretary and they got a dog like, you know it after that it was like ready to go. So I just find it funny. I like it, it kind of links together, which is really super cool. Super miserable. Oh, my goodness.

I mean, you’ve had amazing parts in your journey. And I just loved hearing about how you broke through that imposter syndrome. Because it’s a very real thing. Especially when we’re stepping into new territory. And like, we know, we’re being called into this space, we hear it, people are telling us this, and you feel it inside. But then like, how do you actually break past that? So I would love to hear your experience and how you actually went through that. And like, what your mantras were anything that really helped you break through that? You mentioned Napoleon Hill, which is a super good one. I freaking love that book, So yes.

Samara Lane
How I broke through impostor syndrome was honestly by just getting down and dirty and doing the work. I spent three years trying to become confident enough to do my business. It didn’t ever happen, I just had to go for it. So action is going to lead us exactly where we need to go. We don’t get comfortable speaking on a podcast or hosting a podcast or going on live stream or speaking on a stage until we just do it. So I started off with relationship anxiety coaching, and I still do that at this time. In general, I’m an anxiety transcendence coach. I help people heal anxiety, and self-doubt and create the life of their dreams in whatever area of life.

That is relationships, business, money manifestation, and more through connection to soul and spirit. So there’s definitely a spiritual and mood component to what I do and the types of clients I attract. And I remember when I first started relationship anxiety, I compared myself to other people in that space, I worried about it a lot. I remember first getting like when I really started charging what you really need to be charging. What’s considered kind of high ticket like 1000 or more for these packages, and just feeling so out of my element. So terrified that people ever get results and all this stuff. And yeah, so much on my shoulders, so much pressure to like, deliver everything and do it perfectly. How I got through that was again, just doing it.

Part of it was really showing up and just seeing Wow, okay, I’ve had this many clients now. People aren’t asking for refunds, people seem to like it, like really starting to see okay, when I keep showing up. And I just do my best because that’s the best any of us can ever do. Nothing terrible or catastrophic ever actually happens in the few. Even if there’s a time when a client’s like, hey, could we shift something to help me work through this better. Or someone doesn’t sign up on the sales call and we’re beating ourselves up really like how I broke through that was just reminding myself. There’s billions of people on the planet like our person is going to come? Our people will find us really our job is just to be ourselves.

And the more I just challenge myself to just like post on social media without thinking. Get on the coaching call and just share the first things that come to you when you’re working with your clients. If people work with their clients one on one or serve clients one on one. Just keep going one step at a time practicing trusting myself really connecting with my intuition and trusting what came things worked out. The more I did it from ease and flow and trust, the easier it got

Pamela Bardhi
Amazing oh my god, I love that. I love the spiritual element to what you have as well that connects to your intuition. Because that’s again, one of the things that kind of block us and I know that we’re at this really interesting point in time. And I don’t know if you’ve heard in your world that the era of the divine feminine is here. So tapping into that, so a lot of things are shifting in this universe because of that. And it’s like, how do we bring that into the business realms? Because I found this, you know, through my experience, there’s the spiritual realms. Which hate money and like that icky feeling.

Then there’s the business people who are extreme capitalists, and yet they’re deeply spiritual. So I’m like, here, you have two groups of people that just like, are polar opposites. But they’re really the same. It’s super interesting to see how those kinds counteract each other. And you just mentioned it in your story. You were like, you know when I was feeling Ooh, about what I was charging. You started realizing the value and what you were doing. And I think that one of the things, the mindset shifts that a lot of people have when they break into that. Like, how you did was, hey, you know, this is an energy exchange. When you think about money as an energy exchange, I think that shifts everything.

So I would love to hear like your money mindset and how that kind of switched. Because that’s what I have heard from a lot of people in the spiritual community. That’s like shifting into the business stuff, because like, a lot of them that I speak to. They’re like, man, we didn’t know you were like this deeply spiritual and all that stuff with all that you do. But I’m like, Yeah, I mean, like, I heard Tony Robbins say this. And it’s, I’ve never forgotten it, like in my life, and it made so much sense. Like, everything clicked once I heard this, which is business as a spiritual game.

Samara Lane
Absolutely. I love that so much. Yeah, he’s got all the nuggets. Yeah, Tony.

Pamela Bardhi
But like, it’s so so cool. So it’s so cool to see how you broke through that in your business. Because that obviously shifted the way you started doing things. And it changed everything in your life. So yeah, I would love to hear kind of like, the mantras or anything that helped get you through and kind of breaking that block. Because I know that’s been a big one. Myself, to be honest.

Samara Lane
Yes. So for the money, Peace, man. I mean, the thing that’s coming to my mind first was really coming from a place of empowerment. When we have this mindset of like, I don’t want to take anyone’s money. We’re really looking at our clients and community from a place of disempowerment. Well, they’re struggling and they’re, they can’t get more money. And they are in a place of lack and scarcity. It’s making a lot of assumptions and mind-reading. It’s also putting them in a disempowering position. So really like you said, money is energy, everything is literally energy. Money is a tool, right? There’s, like, I believe in infinite abundance for all of us. We get to create that and manifest that by learning how to stop getting in our own way. And right and stop resisting.

And someone once said this, to me, I loved it so much. They said, What if actually, abundance is the default? What if that is actually what is all around you and your only job is just to lift away all the things that have been separating you from that? So I actually have a very Spirit spiritual relationship with money now. I don’t really subscribe to the belief anymore of gotta like hustle and work hard to make money. And I also don’t believe that if someone has a lot of money then they are somehow bad and evil or like they’ve taken from other people. It feels so good to me when I give a coach $5,000 Okay, it is me really backing my vision, my dream, and my desires in a really powerful way.

I actually have found the more money I pay for a service, usually, the more I get out of it. There’s something that happens subconsciously to us. And yeah, I really love your analogy of using thinking of that as energy. And another piece of this for the imposter syndrome, the money mindset, all of that, that really helped me break free. Was journaling through like starting to write do these writing exercises and really get clear on. Like, what is my old fears and my old beliefs? How are those actually BS because we know deep down they are?

What actually would be a more helpful and empowering belief around people paying me? My clients, my community, whoever I’m serving my own money, my life. Like what do I want to believe who I want to be? And what would that version of me believe? And what’s the evidence for that? Like, there’s evidence for literally anything you want to believe. There’s evidence that the world is falling apart? There’s evidence that we are in the most amazing, transformative time in history. So what do we want to believe?

Pamela Bardhi
Right? And going off of that what you just mentioned to the error of the Divine Feminine just mentioned intuition earlier. So I was like, I got to ask her this question. So for someone who may be new to this, like, what would be your recommendation? And like, in terms of how do I say this, and I would try to say these things in like English form without sounding too like super woo. But tapping into your intuition. Oh, yeah.

I keep the prices and things that somebody you know because I feel like once you get in that flow. Like, when you start getting into flow, everything was coming with effortlessly for you for your business and all the things. But like, imagine if we could all feel flow. What would that look like? But how do you tap into flow, if you will, I’d love to hear your experience?

Samara Lane
Heck, yes. Okay, people need to hear about this because people keep asking me this question. I love this. This is the secret to everything. For me, I love the book, I’m just gonna pitch this I’m not affiliated with him at all. But parallel universes of self by Frederick Dodson is freaking phenomenal for anyone into all of this spirituality, manifestation cetera. That has been helpful, I’ll just say that for me how I connect with my intuition. It’s really about getting quiet. And still, you’ve even like, we’re recording this on Zoom, right? So you can see my face. You see I close my eyes a lot when I talk. And it’s like how I connect.

So for me, often when I’m coaching or teaching or doing anything talking in everyday conversation. Sometimes the husband’s like, hello your eyes. Or I’ll like tune in and just drop in with my body. And just be still, first of all, just it finds coming from a baseline of neutral, then it’s easier to connect with my intuition. If I’m coming from like, Oh, I’m busy, and I’m frantic, or I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. It’s gonna get all mucked up, right? So it’s first just letting myself be quiet and still and at ease and regulating the nervous systems that I can connect.

And then it’s just it could be as simple as asking myself really asking my higher self Divine Spirit source, whatever you use. What do you need me to know about this? Or what am I to do around this? Just some version of those questions? What’s my next step? What do I need to see around this and just whatever first comes? It often comes in a flash or an image or just a sense, or some words, nothing fancy. As soon as it comes, just trust it, trust the first thing that comes, and just freak in do it.

I love that and just really sitting still and all that stuff. Because it you know, it’s hilarious. And a lot of people are like, people don’t have time to just sit there and cross my legs and sit in like a meditation room and just go home. I’m like that you don’t have to do all that. Thank goodness

Pamela Bardhi
Like you said, just get yourself in a simple space. Even if it’s just for like, a few minutes or five minutes. And just like silence, close your eyes and do your thing.

Samara Lane
Exactly, it could take 30 seconds, especially the more we practice, right? And really, it can take seconds or it can take hours, it could take however long it takes. Depending on how long it takes us to stop resisting and just be and just let it come in. Like in we want all the answers. We want all the clarity, want to stop having overwhelmed, and like have a strategy know how to do our life. And what are all the answers and the keys? The next step. It’s like, will you just receive? Will you just slow down and pause long enough? And trust what comes and then stop second-guessing it and just do it?

Pamela Bardhi
Yes. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that some are truly, it’s just it’s one of those things that tap into your intuition. Just reminds me of like the divine feminine. So it’s like, how can we kind of nurture that and break into that a little bit more? I mean, it’s amazing, the world is waking up quite a bit. It’s really, really cool to see. And just like there’s never been a better time to start a business honestly now. Like with all the technology and capabilities that we have, it’s the greatest time in the world to really do that. And you were able to kind of shift into your own business from a full-time position. Correct?

Samara Lane
Correct. Yeah. So I mean, three years I spent on the fence waiting until I felt clear and confident. And then I just freaking did it, then within a year, I’d quit my day job of 14 years. So anything’s possible, and we just go for it.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s amazing. And what were some of the hardest parts of that journey kind of going through that? I have a lot of people that ask me if I have a full-time job. I don’t know when it’s time to transition, because I really want to do this. But you know, I need its financial security. So how did you break past that?

Samara Lane
My goal, my intention was like, I have to save up six months of savings and have all my ducks in a row and do X, Y, and Z. And then I didn’t do any of that. I did have some savings I had a few months’ worths give or take. But I think it’s all relative to what people’s comfort level is. For me, It was like, it just felt like I was done. Really, it felt like I was done seven years before that moment. So I was like, old for done with that job. And it was really, like I gave this, this end date to my job. I’m gonna give my six months’ notice and then I just kept shortening it and shortening it and shortening it. And just being like, No, I just something shifted in me mentally, emotionally.

And I think really, it was divine timing. It just felt right. It felt good to just go. But I wouldn’t have allowed myself to really leave and trust that unless I put in my six months notice. So I think again, action, just doing it just taking this step really helped. And yeah, we don’t have to have everything perfectly mapped out strategies are great. We want to have some things in place so that we’re not scrambling. But really I was just winging it and I just did It’s just trusting having that faith.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s amazing. Oh, my goodness, thank you so much for sharing that. now in your career journey. So what was your day job prior to this?

Samara Lane
Yeah, my day job prior to this was that one I mentioned, it was my operations manager role at the house cleaning company. So that was like, that was my from age 19, till whatever the heck age 30 something. That was my 14-year career, which was very in alignment with my childhood dream. So I guess I got to fulfill that, as well as like, I’m in an office and I help people and I take the phones and I scheduled things.

I did so much more than that. operations, management, and managing a small company is so much more than that. But I got to have that experience. And you’re right, yeah. Now I still get to work with people. I still manage the operations of my business. I’m a solopreneur. At this point, I have a part-time virtual assistant as of recently, who’s awesome, all that experience has helped so much.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s amazing. And who inspired you from a very young age who or what I guess you’d say, already from a young age.

Samara Lane
My first coach was my mama. She is a badass, she is a queen. She is really just she’s my best friend. I know, on a soul level, we chose each other for this lifetime. We’re like, BFFs forever. And it was actually her company that I worked at for 14 years and grew it from, I don’t know, three 500k to a $1.7 million business. And no, I didn’t like having a business degree or knowing what the heck I was doing.

I just kept showing up and doing my best and did what felt aligned. That’s the secret to everything, right? Yeah, she’s been my number one. When I started coaching. I also fell in love with Marie Forleo. And there’s been a lot of people like that, who have been like, my mentors are just people I followed. But yeah, Marie Forleo is Ge, I admire her a lot.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, my goodness, I love that. Well, I love that you were in the family business too. So for me, I worked for my parents’ restaurant until I was 18. And then I started my own too and just kind of exploded from other than real estate development and all the things. So it’s just cool to see where the inspiration kind of stems from. And now I mean, you focus on anxiety and transcendence, correct?

Samara Lane
Yeah. So I consider myself an anxiety transcendence coach. So what that really means is healing anxiety, overcoming anxiety breaking free. Since I was little I had undiagnosed anxiety and OCD tendencies. Did compulsions without realizing that’s when I was doing tonnes of reassurance seeking tonnes. And again, this all comes back to I think, a lot of that imposter syndrome stuff. Just as a side note, I mean, how much is imposter syndrome? How much are women and people of color and marginalized communities don’t have tonnes of examples of people making it? That’s not necessarily imposter syndrome.

Like there’s a societal piece to this too. I love how you keep talking about stepping into the divine feminine and this whole new era and age that we’re in. Because yeah, a lot of this is shifting in a beautiful way in a messy but it’s happening kind of a way. And I don’t even remember the question. So yeah, anxiety, Transcendence coach. Yeah, getting into the core of what you do, and kind of how you chose that.

Pamela Bardhi
That fields specifically,

Samara Lane
It wasn’t really natural evolution. Someone once told me when I was starting my coaching business, that your message is your message. So I looked at the big messes or things I’d overcome in my life. And anxiety and relationship anxiety specifically, was the biggest one. Self-doubt, second-guessing fear, overwhelm, analysis, paralysis, all of that kind of thing. And so I started with relationship anxiety, which is really niche. Still, as I said, attract a lot of those people and love serving them. So people who are worried am I settling? Am I with the right partner? Or does my partner really love me? What if they leave me or cheat on me any form of anxiety like that, that is affecting our lives? What I recently started doing was I launched alignments unleashed. So that’s like lifetime access forever program.

And it’s for all types of anxiety I found because what I found when I was working through my clients with relationship anxiety. Helping them is like they would get to a so much better place with that they’re like, Yay. I’m not preoccupied with my relationship anymore, or my engagement or my marriage or whatever. Well, now I’m really worried about what I do with my life. Or how do I start my business or have stress at my day job or buy this house like it will find a new theme? It’s not the content of our anxiety like the problem is never really the problem. It’s the underlying patterns underneath. And so I forget who was one of the many people who teaches this where I first heard about it.

But really, I believe that everything comes from love or fear right on a vibrational energetic level. So you need to be coming from love are coming from fear. And love means soul. It means trust, means spirit, means faith, means intuition, all of that. Fear is everything else. So I wanted to create a community in space. That’s what I’ve been focusing on lately around. Yeah, in every single area of your life. What if you could have one space where you had something for everything, right?

The imposter syndrome as you’re starting your business. Or getting through anxieties and fears and self-doubts as we’re choosing a partner. Or navigating the ups and downs of a relationship, or marriage, or health, anxiety, body image, social anxiety, all of that. And so it’s really learning to step away from that and come back into our inner peace. Finding your inner calm, coming back to that neutral balance place within us. Because from there, then the fun stuff is possible. Then we can connect to soul and spirit, then all of our answers come true. Or start revealing themselves in divine timing, right? That’s where all the magic happens.

Pamela Bardhi
I absolutely love that. And now, so pretend I’m like one of your clients. So like, what’s like the first thing well, without giving away like proprietary information, I guess. So I’m sure a lot of people have this question like, how do you overcome anxiety? And like, what would be some of your best practices and tips based on what you’ve worked on with your clients? Because I know a lot of people suffer from it. It’s like, how do you help somebody navigate past that? Because it can be super debilitating, especially like for me, I don’t have it.

So I don’t understand it. And so how can I help somebody else kind of see us even through that? Or give them the proper advice without saying the wrong thing? You know what I mean? Like, that’s kind of one of the things that for me, personally. I’m sure that there’s people listening to this who struggle with it, either themselves or have a loved one. Who does, unfortunately, is anxiety is way too common these days. So any tips that you have on that would be super, super appreciated?

Samara Lane
For sure. Yeah, happy to share. And you’re right, it’s so common, there’s like, hundreds of millions of people now, I think, with some form of anxiety, or depression, etc. And so how I think about this, first of all, I never resonated with slapping a label on me of like, I am an anxious person, I have a disorder. Now, if people resonate it, it helps them to get diagnosed with something. So it’s helpful to have a name to put on it, like, oh, all these thoughts and worries. I’m having just like, my brain is crazy, or there’s something wrong with me. It’s just anxiety, right? So for some people, it’s really helpful to have that diagnosis. For me on a spiritual level, I just don’t buy it. We’re not like our soul isn’t anxious. Like, this isn’t who we are.

We’re not born into the world. Even if we have some chemical imbalances or predispositions to anxiety. Which is really common, it’s not who we are, it doesn’t define us. So really, so much of this is just coming back to realizing anxiety is really like our fight and flight fight or flight response. It’s our body adapting to our environment, often because we’re highly sensitive and PAs. Or, you know, deep thinkers who are like soaking everything up like a sponge. And absorbing this and don’t have a way of recalibrating our own nervous systems.

So just acknowledging our nervousness like when someone says they have anxiety. Okay, they’re learning how to master their nervous system regulation. That’s really all that that means. And that’s okay. I think we also eat whether it has whether someone has anxiety or not. We live in this world that really is very fear-based and lack-based and like, should base like rules and you got to do it this way. Or else you’re failing or you won’t do it wrong, or you’ll piss someone off or whatever. And it’s like, no, that is so crippling. Especially for the overstimulated or anxious mind and really fear is just it all vibration. It’s all energy, right? We’re talking about energy, it’s all energy.

So we can the beautiful thing is it’s kind of a two-parter. To answer your question we can if we notice that we’ve fallen into that energetic vibration of fear. We can choose to move and flow into the energetic vibration of love anytime we want. Doesn’t have to be hard doesn’t have to take a long time. It’s just practice. So it’s a two-parter. It’s one, what are we doing to regulate our nervous system? First and foremost, we want to start there coming back to that zero point, like I mentioned that middle ground. And feeling calmer and collected in our body, and there’s a million things we can do.

Like there’s supplements. I love ashwagandha I’m not like pitching that I’m not giving medical advice. Who am I to do that? But like, I love that supplement the extra strength version of an Amazon for like $10. I have seen it change people’s lives just to start having something to help create a baseline. That’s something we could do on the physical or nutritional level. On the emotional level. Do we have a technique or a practice for noticing when we’re dysregulated and letting those emotions out? So I talked a lot about the sofa, technique, stop, observe, feel. Except for stopping, pausing, noticing, observing, identifying, naming the emotions we’re feeling. Feel it in our bodies accept it, like go limp like a noodle.

It’s okay to feel this way. I love you so much giving ourselves a lot of self-love around that, accepting it as if we’d chosen it. There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotions, we all do. And then letting it go, through acceptance, like breathing it out, letting that go in whatever way feels good. It could simply be taking some slow, deep breaths for 30 seconds. There’s so many things we can do on the mental level, kind of like those questions I asked earlier.

Those are really powerful. What is the old belief? What’s the evidence against that, that I can find generally in the world? Or in my experience, or anyone else’s experience? What is the new belief, and what is the evidence for that? And choosing that, like, we just get to choose whenever we believe. And then our subconscious is like, okay, memo taken, let’s go. But we have to start on a conscious level and make new choices.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. I love that you have a method for that sofa method. That’s awesome. Then that supplements that you mentioned earlier, that’s pretty powerful stuff, too. Because a few weeks ago, I was at a conference and there was this health guy who got up there. And he was actually featured. He was a health clinician that was featured in Tony Robinson, new book, lifeforce. And he talks about how there’s our DNA can literally showcase exactly what raw materials are missing from our bodies. That cause specific types of diseases, which is absolutely insane. Because he was talking about he was in the life insurance industry for like decades. He literally was an underwriter.

So he was the guy that he would look at all your medical data and your DNA and all that all this stuff. And basically pinpoint exactly when you were gonna die, based on what he saw. Obviously, that’s the dark side of this. And he would underwrite the policies according to what he saw. So he took that, and he started noticing all these patterns. Basically, after he started noticing those patterns, he started realizing patterns, and putting them together and realizing Oh, my God. This is the raw material that’s missing that could help them do this.

This is so now he’s like, changed his entire life and basically created a whole system around that, which is so insanely cool. Like, how interesting is that? And he mentioned for depression and anxiety that there was a specific type of gene that he would see. And that basically, there could be a raw material that to supplement that as well, which is insane.

Samara Lane
I love it. Yeah, it’s so fascinating, right? And absolutely, the things I believe that anything that we may be missing genetically, it’s there, it’s in our environment. A lot of times it’s also natural, or from food or from supplements or vitamins. There’s no shame in taking medication when people find that they actually need that. And there’s always a way. So yeah, I love that story, so much. Thank you for sharing that.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, thank you for sharing yours, too. I mean, I know that those tips are going to help so many people because again, our world has become so interesting. Like we have all of these different like mental health has never been at its prime high right? Like COVID really sparked that. And when people were really forced to introspect, right by being home and forced to be home, I think that did a mix of two things. It woke them up for good and also woke them up for bad where they realized, Hey, I’m just not happy. I call COVID, like the Great Awakening, because for the very first time, people were forced out of their element and forced our pain.

And that did well. I mean, right, like you said, love or fear, it’s gonna go either direction. So this, to address this mental health crisis that’s happening now, what you showed was super, super powerful. Thank you so much for that. And I just can’t wait to see it. Just help people Elevate, you know, kind of out of that push the more into love rather than fear. Because what I’m seeing, you know, seeing beautiful things, but I’m also seeing hard things too.

And the more that we share things like this and resources, the more people can be helped, which is incredible. And to battle that, right? So exactly. That’s super powerful. Oh, my goodness. I’m gonna ask you my favorite question because I love this question. What would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know, now?

What Would Samara’s Older Self Tell Her Younger Self

Samara Lane
Ooh, such a good question. My present-day self, my older self would tell my younger self, to let it be easy. We are the thing that is getting in our own way. If we don’t have the money, or the relationship or the business or the job or fill-in-the-blank. The body house, whatever it is, just the inner happiness or peace, like, let it be easy. What if there were no shoulds, what if there were no rules?

What if you just got to wake up and literally do whatever felt good to you and felt fun? Even when you don’t know how that’s going to pay the bills? And it makes no logical sense. If we just did whatever is calling to us at that moment. Sometimes it will be obviously doing our responsibilities doesn’t mean we have to let all those go. But just let it be easy. Yeah, that’d be my nugget of wisdom for my undersell for sure.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. I love that no summer What are you up to in the next like six months? What’s up in your world?

Samara Lane
Yeah, things happening. Yes, I talked a little bit about alignment unleashed as my signature group program right now. And that’s my joy. That is why I’m here on this planet to do that relationship anxiety led me to that. I would never have thought that that’s where I needed to go. And it’s funny, in some ways, I didn’t know that that’s where I needed to go. I just stopped myself at first for a long time thinking No, I have to, can’t be spiritual can’t be whoop. Those were mild judgments. So what I have going on the next six months is alignment unleash is kind of taking on a life of its own. I teach my signature to align method, which is how we come back to that, to that baseline.

I shared some example snippets of what that might look like, but coming back to that neutral, calm, peaceful place in ourselves. And then from there, we reconnect with soul. And so this month, our theme, actually, at the time is recording in September, this month, the theme is the sole lead CEO. So it’s all for people who are aspiring or current entrepreneurs who are building a business, especially an online business. But really, it works for literally any type of business or passion and want to let go of the fear and the impostor syndrome.

And the overwhelm, chasing all the sights, shiny objects, all of that and really feel confident in themselves. Know their next steps and have everything they need to have like the clients and the cash and the flow that they desire in their business. So that’s we’re doing weekly trainings on that right now. If people would love a free resource to kind of check out more of what I do. Am I allowed to share that?

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. Yeah. You like, Hey, you got to let everyone know where to find you. And you’re awesome. That’s so yeah.

Samara Lane
Yeah. So a great place to start is samaralane.com, forward slash calm that’s a free resource on the common confident mini course. How to, like stop overthinking and trust ourselves and make decisions with confidence. So that’s an amazing one. And I’ve had people just take that and already start getting help around their business, their souls work, all of that kind of stuff. We have other themes. It’s really again, it’s like our for every area of life.

So some months, the theme will be around business and all of that. And some months, it’s around relationships and love. I think, from an entrepreneurial standpoint, we want freedom we want to be able to play, right. We want to be all of who we really are in our business in our life’s work. And this is allowing me to do that. It’s not following all the rules that we have to niche down to one little thing. It’s allowing this expansion and people who are meant to be there will be drawn to it.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, my goodness. I love that. That sounds like so much about alignment unleashed. That’s so cool. Oh, my goodness. So drop that link one more time just for everyone, just in case they didn’t get it the first time.

Samara Lane
Yes, thank you. samaralane.com

Pamela Bardhi
My goodness. That’s amazing. Thank you so much, Samara, for sharing that. And just everything that you shared today. I’m so inspired by your journey and the work that you’re doing that’s elevating the world. The collective, if you will, and just like everything, everything. Thank you so much for being here today. I really, really appreciate you.

Samara Lane
Oh my gosh, it is my superduper pleasure and honor. So thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

Pamela Bardhi
So that’s it for today’s episode of underdogs. catch us next week, always dropping on Thursdays. And remember, if you’re interested in real estate, or want to learn how to create more money and magic in your life. Check out meetwithpamela.com and let’s chat sending you so so much love

 

Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my incredible interview with Samara Lane.