Brindley Tucker Shares the Journey That Changed Her Life

Kevin Harrington
Hi, I’m Kevin Harrington, an original shark from the hit television show Shark Tank and you’re listening to the underdog podcast.

Pamela Bardhi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the underdog Podcast. Today I have a very special guest here with me Brindley Tucker.

Brindley Tucker
Amazing. I’m so excited to be here.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, my goodness, it is so wonderful to have you here. I remember getting introduced to you. And I was like, I just love her.

Brindley Tucker
I always say coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.

Pamela Bardhi
It’s such an honour to have you heard meeting you then in person getting introduced to you. Then we spoke a little bit on the side of build. And I just remember you sharing your story. I was just like, you know, those people who share their story, and you just tingle everywhere. You’re just like, oh my god, this is the most beautiful soul ever. So I’m just so honored to have you here today and to hear your story in detail, because I’ve heard bits and pieces of it. And I know it’s gonna inspire so many people. So thank you again for being here.

Brindley Tucker
Thank you for having me. And it’s always fun to do this with friends. Oh, I get to play with my friends all day.

Pamela Bardhi
It’s the greatest gift ever. Yeah. Ever. So I’m going to start with one of my favourite questions. Okay, a little bit loaded. What inspired you in your journey to where you are today?

Brindley Tucker
You know, gosh, there’s been so many inspirations. I think you know, growing up my mom, I was raised by single mom, only child, and didn’t have a father. My grandparents were thank goodness, I don’t think we grew up very poor. And I think if it wasn’t for my grandparent’s support, we probably would have been a lot worse off than we were. So I think that just watching my mom do everything she could to raise me and support me. You know, she in 1985, she started working for a little company called Raymond James, and financial. And when they were one building, one, yeah, on 66th Street and St. Pete in Pinellas Park, actually, Florida.

And she started as a secretary and making $12,000 a year. When I graduated from high school, so that would have been, what 12 13 years later. She was the senior VP of institutional sales, the only female, and her territory were. It was at a time when it was a very male dominant industry. And she really worked hard to provide I don’t think I realised the gravity of that until I was older and looks back and when she was a boss, baby. Like she Yeah, I mean, to survive that. So I would say my mom is definitely probably been the most inspirational guy.

Pamela Bardhi
Amazing. Well, it means when you are raised by a badass, you kind of inadvertently become one. Like, you can see that you see that level of strength and that determination that grit and you realize like, it’s not normal. But not really until later, right? Like, even with me, and my parents, like, all I knew was hustled my whole life. So when watching them, like I thought that was normal. And then like, kind of look looking on the onset. I’m just like, Whoa, that totally was not. And it’s interesting how it shapes our training, how it shapes us. Like seeing all of that, and I’m sure that became ingrained in you at a super young age, and you didn’t even know

Brindley Tucker
No, I didn’t. And recently, I’ve been doing a lot of studying around masculine and feminine energy. Then Allison Armstrong has become a mentor of mine in that field. Because what I realized is I was raised in my masculine energy because she was so in her masculine she had to be. Because she had to survive in this very masculine world. And so being raised in masculine energy, I never learned how to tap into my feminine. I never learned right, probably why I’m single at 42.

And when I wanted to start dating and started really opening up in the last year of why don’t I have that life partner? I started realizing Wait a minute like it’s because I’m living in the masculine and what attracts the masculine is the feminine. So that’s been a journey of yes, that grit and determination is inside of me and now being able to navigate a little bit into that feminine energy.

Pamela Bardhi
Love that you brought up the different energies masculine and feminine because that was one thing that I’ve always been, like super like, Let’s go boom.No whining. Oh, yeah, roll and it’s just like, and you don’t really do like. And then people like, you know, because I would always be in black. I would be wearing like Blazers like dude like and everyone’s like my mom. When you’re raised by a single mom like her whole life, she followed me probably Every state. I went to four different states to follow me everywhere.

So finally a few years ago, I said, Fine, you want to be my mom, I’ll put you on the payroll. So it’s on my terms. I’m now paying her to be my mom like she does my laundry takes up the dishes. It’s leverage and fast, right? But recently, she went to pick up a pair of pants from Nordstrom for me, and they were royal blue pants. And they handed over to her. She said I don’t think these are the right pants. And they said, Well, what’s wrong with the pants? Well, I don’t think you understand my daughter only wears black.

So I don’t think these are black and white, clean, yummy. A blazer, I’m good to go. Like my friend, one of my best friends say she’s like, happened to your feminine Pam. I’m like, so funny. We’re just like, we grind. That’s what we do. And it’s like, when you’re so used to the masculine energies, I was heavily influenced by my father. My father was very much like dried, let’s go, boom, boom.

Brindley Tucker
But there’s power there, especially as a female, we all have masculine and feminine energy inside of us. But as a woman, if you can learn how to balance the two. It is a powerful, powerful synergy that we can create in our leadership in our coexistence. Like there’s a lot that we can do with

Pamela Bardhi
Well, it’s interesting, because we’re entering the era of the Divine Feminine right now. Like, now, almost like we’re being forced to step into it for like,

Brindley Tucker
It’s really a beautiful thing.

Pamela Bardhi
It really, really is exciting, like I am too I like to see how everything’s meshing together. Well, women are rising powers rising. I’m all like, it’s just amazing to see. That’s right now, for you. I have a question. I’m so interested to know. Okay. What did you want to be when you grew up as a kid?

Brindley Tucker
So I wanted to be a brain surgeon. Isn’t that funny? Yes, I wanted first, wanted to be a teacher. And then my mother coached me against that. Then I wanted to be a brain surgeon. And I actually was a neuroscience major my freshman year of college. Then they told me, I had to read 175 pages of biology every day. I was like, Yeah, this isn’t probably going to work. I’d rather be at the bar. It’s funny because now I’m password. I’m a Master’s Practitioner, in neurolinguistic programming. I studied the brain. So I got to do it without all the schooling,

Pamela Bardhi
You know, it’s so cool is like, how what we want to be as kids translate and like comes full circle, as we’re older. That’s right.

Brindley Tucker
Somehow we know at a young age, right? Somehow along the way, we kind of forget a little bit or life happens or whatever. And then eventually, we get that space. Like, I was like, what you’re doing that you that is exactly what you’re doing. Now. You’re literally studying the brain. Yeah, linguistic patterns, like all of the things and it’s just so beautiful. Feel the blood and guts. Yeah, it’s great. It was like being college. So like, when I went into the business major. And I was like, Oh, I’m gonna graduate and then eventually become an entrepreneur. But it was so funny, because I had dropped my applied calculus class.

Because I was like, they’re like, in order to be a business major, you need to pass this one class. And I’m like, This is no, I’m like, I don’t understand, like, no, no, no applied calculus for physics. I don’t even understand algebra. So let alone calculus. I have a hard time with things that don’t make sense. Logistically. I’m like, What is this little area? So it’s so funny, though, like you you like cut it off? Like the same thing with me? I’m like, Ah, no. Later.

Pamela Bardhi
And you mentioned that your mom was a huge inspiration to you. And So walk me through like kind of your career journey. So when you started so you were in college for

Brindley Tucker
So I started college as a neuroscience major my freshman year and then transferred to business. I think sometimes we follow in our parent’s footsteps because it’s all we know. And so when I graduated from college, I was fortunate enough to go live in Manhattan for seven years. I worked in hedge funds and investment banking, and started actually in talent management for a company called endeavour. And was gonna do like the talent agency, though, everybody wants to be famous when they’re a kid. Now, I’d rather be rich and famous, and yet and it’s funny with the ego when you remove the ego.

How that switches right when you have a lot of ego, you want to be famous, not rich, but then when the ego goes away. You’re like, I’d rather be rich so and so I did investment banking route hedge funds and then ended up moving back to Texas deepened my alcoholism. So I was I was working my life. I was drinking quite a bit. And everywhere I go, I did a lot of what I call geographical relocations. Where if I just go here, my life will be better.

I can start over and everything will Be great. Well, wherever I go there. So then I came back to Texas and got into country club membership sales for a company called Club board and then ended up. That’s where I discovered real estate. That’s where Realtors would partner with us to, obviously sell homes, in our golf communities, and we would sell memberships to their clients. And that’s how I learned about real estate. That’s fast.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, my gosh, I love your trajectory and kind of power, although thank you so much for sharing that, by the way. And it’s interesting, you mentioned, what they consider it, it’s a trauma pattern where you kind of tend to escape. But if I do this, then this will go away. If this happens, this will go away. And it’s a trauma response is what they say, because I’ve been kind of studying this for a while. So neurolinguistics programming, I took the I have the regular sort of getting going for Masters soon, too.

So it’s just interesting how the mind works and how it processes information. Trauma response is how we can become reactive if we’re not aware. All of these things, and like, the most powerful thing is to be able to control the mind. So walk me through kind of your whole journey with that, because looking at you, right, like, you’re so hyper-successful. They are just killing it and slaying it these days. But what a lot of people don’t realize is you have a full story behind you. And this is often this is the reason why I started this podcast. In the beginning, I saw that there was this massive disconnect from people and somebody who’s hyper-successful.

Because they look at somebody who put them on a pedestal and say this person could have never possibly made it through this. When in reality, it’s like we’ve been through hell, the wringer, the fire, and all of the things, and like, Yeah, that’s right. And so your journey was super interesting to me, like, I remember you sharing it with me. And I was just like, wow, because looking at you know, you just would never think. But this is literally the reason I started this now people can listen in.

And for those who are listening, this could change your life, a friend of yours, and somebody that you know. A loved one, like whoever it is, really, stories are extremely, extremely powerful. And I was touched and moved by it when you shared it with me. So I’m excited to hear it in detail from you, and how you came to that how you move through it. I became aware of it, and then how you kind of move through it because you just never know. Yeah, he’s going through something right now.

Brindley Tucker
So I am and thank you for that it’s, I always say this is the Brinley I built, not the Brindley that was born. In neuro linguistic programming, we learned about the three phases of programming. Zero to seven is your imprint phase. It’s why they say kids are like sponges, we soak everything in. We just take it all in your your brain is a blank, think of a CPU computer, like a central processing unit. And it’s blank when you’re born and now it’s just being programmed. And then from seven to 14, you move into a modelling base. So this is when you’re programming is you’re modelling the behavior of your peers.

This is why it’s so important to not just know what who your children are associating themselves with. Yet also know what’s happening behind the closed doors of the hall. What conversations are happening at the dinner table? What are those parents? How are they treating one another, because your children are being programmed based on modelling that behaviour. And then from 14 to 21 Is your relationship base. This is where we learn partnership, intimacy, your hormones are now rising. Now you’re learning how to be in extreme partnership and to be intimate with another human being. And that’s, that’s your relationship baits.

For me growing up without a father, I found out at 32 that I actually was given up for adoption. Because my mother actually gave me to the nuns in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. And then two weeks later came back and got me. Well, the first time that we ever experienced shame is the first time we’re disconnected from our mothers. And so the unconscious mind when it stores memory, it doesn’t know situation. It stores feeling, right. So what happens is, and that’s what we call triggers. So what happens is when a trigger occurs when an event that triggers a similar emotion that was created during those imprint phases.

Your unconscious mind doesn’t know that situation may be different. It just knows the emotion. And it bites flights freezes or pleases. So our brains essentially are always looking for exits. Anytime we’re uncomfortable. Anytime we experience any type of negative emotion, even though it may be a negative emotion that is moving us closer to growth or personal development. Our brains start to go where’s the where’s the exit? Where’s the exit door? And so, for me if you look at those programming stages and you look at the journey In my life, you know, zero to seven.

My imprint phase was a lot of my mother struggling, her parents not talking to her because she had had a child out of wedlock. Trying to pay bills, living on ramen, and mac and cheese and doing whatever survival, right? I grew up in survival. And then from seven to 14, my modelling phase, thank goodness, she had me in a really strong Baptist Church. So my moral compass was created during my modelling phase. So my conscious and I always say, I don’t care who your God is, as long as it’s not you.
Yet, because I had grown up with the idea of a higher power, I did have a moral compass and a conscience. Well, then, if you fast forward, 14 to 21 Is your relationship base?

Well, when I was 18, my uncle was murdered. He was shot at close range through a bedroom window in Spring Hill, Florida. And about two months before my high school graduation, I’m scrubbing my uncle’s blood on a tiled floor. And my whole life changed in that three month period. It felt like I was in a made for TV movie. My grandparents divorced after 48 years of marriage because of the loss of a child. So think about that, right? The only epitome of marriage that I ever had in my life, it’s my grandparents, 48 years of marriage in my relationship phase, they divorce.

I’m 42. I’ve been engaged once and I’ve never been married. And I have my last relationship was four years ago. And I’ve recently discovered now why that’s happening because of my belief system. Being, it’s going to end. So why bother starting and having to start unpacking that. There’s so much freedom that comes with that, because now you know, we it’s not me. 99.9% of the way you think you didn’t even choose to think that way. Yeah, the good thing is it can be reversed.

Pamela Bardhi
I’m just here, my mom, like, keep going.

Brindley Tucker
So this happens, my uncle dies. My grandparents divorced after 48 years of marriage, and I had been accepted to Baylor University. Because it was the biggest Baptist College in the country. And I just want to get out of here. At this point, my entire world back home was falling apart, I get to college. My mom basically says, Here’s your allowance, as long as you get a three Oh, the money will keep coming. And a lot of us who have grit and determination and a lot of addicts and alcoholics are very, very smart individuals. We have a really high potential that’s just taken because of our addictions. Right and our alcoholism. So I get to college, and it’s a free for all. I just drink a drink my way through college, I graduated with a 3.002.

Pamela Bardhi
What is the bare minimum?

Brindley Tucker
You know, we all have college nightmares. This nightmare? Probably it probably didn’t stop to like 10 years ago, because my senior year I played dominoes in college. Because it would you know, Mom would give me enough money yet, the Domino’s actually wouldn’t allow me to spend more injury for money. And I’m sending like Domino’s when they in this general, a friend of mine says, Hey, aren’t you in this econ class? And I said, Yeah, but it’s there’s no attendance policy. As a final at the end of the semester, I’ll just study for the Bible and take it he goes, No Brinley. The entire semesters grade is based on a stock portfolio that you’re supposed to be working on your whole semester.

It’s three weeks before the end of the semester. Oh, so I have to go into my professor tail between my legs and say, Hey, I didn’t know this. He’s like, Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m like, sir, I cannot fail. Like my mother would kill me. And he’s like, Well, I don’t know what to tell you. So we’ll make a deal with you. If I make more money in the next three weeks than anyone in the class, will you give me an A? Of course, he didn’t believe I can do it. And I called all of my mom’s friends that were day trading for three weeks straight. I’ll never forget it. Campbell’s soup stock is what got me day trading penny stocks all day long.

In Campbell soup was a stock that got me and I made more money than everybody in the class. And I legit had that dream for like 20 years after that. Better gay Yeah. so you know, I go to college, I graduated with Rio, I get to go to Manhattan. I think that I think the city saved my life because I’ve worked hard and played hard. And ended up meeting someone there that we just were drinking buddies. We just supported each other in our addictions and ended up coming back to Texas for a few years. Then again screwed my life up there, got into quite a bit of trouble with the law there.

And then said, if I just get back home to my family, and my grandfather had remarried. I said, they’re having barbecues every Sunday if I just had that like, that’ll be awesome. So, I go back. You know, he’s rebuilt a family for 10 years, and they don’t want to have anything to do with us. So here I am, at 31 years old, back home, nothing to show for my life. I’m in a relationship with a man that I don’t love. You know, he makes sure the bills are paid. And I made sure he was clothed in bed. That was our relationship. Everything that I had ever done in my career. I had started as an assistant, just like my mom had.

I thought it was a great way to learn the business, learn mentorship and all of that. And I knew that I wanted to go into real estate because I knew I could make fast money. And I didn’t want to, I want to set my own hours, which you know, that’s the falsehood that everybody that gets into real estate, flex and quick money. Ah, not at all. No, yeah. If you’re listening to this, and that’s what you’re thinking, you’re highly mistaken. Because that’s not how it happens.

Pamela Bardhi
Highly mistaken? Well, it’s funny, because like that, so many people like I was literally walking my dog park the other day. And there was a settlement that his son just got into real estate as a goal. When he joined this team, but they’re not teaching him anything. And I’m like, they don’t teach you how to make money. Like, everyone kind of suffers on their own unless you have a leader. That’s right, was willing to like open up. So it’s yeah, it’s so fascinating that you said that, because it’s, it’s so true.

Brindley Tucker
So I got hired to be a real estate kind of assistant office manager at a brokerage and South Florida. Went to their annual conference in February of 2012. And all I heard was God family and business, which was everything that was missing in my life. But that at this point, I had gotten to a place where I was drinking in the mornings just to get through the day. Just to cure the hangovers from the night before. I hated myself, the committee in my head, just would play bongos drums all day long. And it wouldn’t shut up, telling me how awful I was how.

You know, I’d be in a room and everyone in the room could think I was the prettiest girl in the room, or the smartest girl in the room. I just thought I was the dumbest, ugliest version of anything, I just didn’t want to feel I didn’t want to. And I came home from that conference that year, I cried out to God, and I said, I don’t want to live. But I don’t want to die. And I don’t know how to get out of where I’m at. I was so dependent on this man. You know, I was making barely any money. I really did not know what where to go from there and I believe my god, whispers. Then he speaks.

And then he yells, and then he will verse. My war came Memorial Day weekend in 2012. I had gone to a friend’s house for like a makeup wine party. They tried to take my keys at the end of the night, and I’ve had copious amounts of wine. On the way home, I made a U turn in front of a motorcycle, ended up in jail, got out of jail the next morning, called the police station to find out where my car was. And they told me it was being held an investigation of a vehicular homicide. My mom was sitting about this far away from me on the couch.

And I looked at her and I said I’m gonna make my whole life change that. I believe by the grace of God, that man didn’t die. Because God knew I would be more useful out here, but I wouldn’t be behind bars. And I make amends to that man every day by staying sober, and helping other men and women do the same. Sharing my story. Because no matter where you are in life, no matter, you can think that it’s never going to get better. You’re only one step away from having a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Pamela Bardhi
I adore you, first and foremost. And thank you so much for sharing that again, hearing it for the second time. I’m like, chills everywhere, like my heart’s like jumping out of my chest. Because I feel that everything that you’re saying, like I feel that and just the courage to even say it is a lot. So I thank you so much for honouring yourself, but still working through it. Like it’s not something that’s like today, for tomorrow. But at least you’re at this point where you can actually go out there and talk about it. Because it’s going to help so many people out there because again, like people look at your daughter.

Brindley, oh, my God really is a she’s a goddess. She’s amazing, She’s wonderful, right? Not knowing like the backstory and a lot of people can resonate with that. Like maybe someone’s listening right now, that is in a pattern stuck in a pattern like this for is with someone that’s just kind of like just to pay the bills. Or like, you know, and it’s like, to me, it’s so fascinating that you were once in that space. And where you are like I just It blows my mind. So I love that you ask God for help. And that that sign came because sometimes people don’t listen. Well, sorry. They say that in a car. accident is the number one way of God or higher power. Whatever it is that you believe in, warns you, this is not the route you’re supposed to take.

Brindley Tucker
I have a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and the teacher will remain until the lesson is learned. And the lesson always gets harder. It gets harder. That’s why I say when he whispers, and he speaks, and he yells, and I’m a stubborn girl. So typically, now as I get older, and more congruent, I listen to the whispers. And the speaking more. Yeah it’s the records that really make me get into the action, and I’m just going full, but his grace is sufficient, and that he allowed me now to be here. When you speak about, you know, me being able to tell the story. So many times our stories own us, it is not who I am.

It is an experience that I went through. It’s not the old Brindley in the new Brindley. This the same Brindley. It’s a Brindley that has grown and evolved. Yet. The power came when I told the story for the first time. Because when I told this story for the first time now I own the story. The story didn’t. And now I was able to use it for good. And it’s not an easy story to tell. I mean, I’m, it’s there’s a lot of regret, and a lot of shame and a lot of people that don’t think that I deserve the grace that I have received. Right, and rightfully so, and a lot of ways. There’s also power in healing and being able to allow it to impact others.

Pamela Bardhi
Well, I think that a lot of what happens in circumstances in situations like this. First of all, I love that you mentioned that you now own the story. The story doesn’t own me. But I think that’s huge. And I think that that’s like, you’re almost releasing it like, listen, I went through this, but it’s not who I am. It’s just what I’ve experienced. It’s just so fascinating. Because knowing what you know, now through NLP and things, how much we can just let life happen to us until we become aware. It’s like, it blows my mind. I’ve had circumstances in my life where I look back. And I’m like the regrets of fear and anger. It’s like, what was I thinking? Because I wasn’t consciously aware.

And I wasn’t consciously making so much conscious on that unconscious level. Like you said, 99.9% is what has been programmed up here. Not many people know that you can reverse this. And that’s like, a magic trick, right there. But like, scientifically prove it. So it’s just fascinating to see these things. Like anybody who’s listening right now, that may be going through circumstance. That you’re not like your heart, your soul, everything is speaking to you all of the time.
You can choose to listen, or you could choose not to listen. And like you said, the whispers and it turns into a roar, right. And that’s everything kind of happening to you. But I mean, just that awareness that you finally got there to that awareness is huge. Because once you become aware, you almost can like, start composing your life story in the way that you want it to happen

Brindley Tucker
Well, and it’s a journey, right? Not a destination, right? We there’s a lot instantly evolving. And, you know, I always say like, there’s the four pillars, and they have to be done in a certain order. The first was the spiritual. Yeah, I had to first get my spirit, right, I had to stop playing God, I had to stop thinking that I controlled everything in my life. And when I started discovering that there was something bigger than me, I say, God, and as I said earlier, I don’t care who your God is. It could be the universe, it could be mother nature might be the doorknob, it could be your friends, right? As long as you don’t think it’s you, right? And so I had to get my spirit straight first.

Because without my spiritual, having something bigger than me, everything else wouldn’t follow suit. So once I had my spirit straight, then I can start working on my mental, right. And I remember during that phase of my journey, I would literally walk around my house going, we don’t think like that anymore. We don’t think like that anymore. Because we’re not responsible for our first off, our first thought is going to come. We are responsible for our second thought. And you have to train your second thought to tell your first thought we don’t think like that anymore. Then replace it with a new thought. So you had a camera in my house at that time and think that was I lived by myself literally I would be walking around shaking my head going.

We don’t think like that anymore. We don’t think like that anymore. And there’s a book called What to Say When You Talk To Yourself that I read throughout that entire part of just shifting my mind. Right and the way I thought and then I wanted to know. I wanted to know why I thought the way I did why did rejection hit me at my core? Why could I be in a room and everybody could tell me how amazing I was yet. I was worried about the one person that didn’t like me, and I was always chasing. So that’s when I discover neuro linguistic programming, and realise that so much of it can be reversed because there’s an assessment called the saboteurs assessment. It’s positive intelligence.com.

And what I love about this assessment, and I own a hiring and recruiting company, so I’m obsessed with assessments. But what this assessment does is it identifies the nine self sabotaging behaviours that we all have inside of us and what your tendency is towards certain ones. Yeah, what it tells you also, because a lot of these assessments tell you that you think how you behave, yeah, they don’t tell you why. And what it shows you is the original survival function. So let’s say if you grew up in a home where mom and dad were married. Dad works all day, and mom was a housewife, and took care of the home or a home homemaker.

And dad would come home at night. All she would want his dad to show appreciation or say, I love you wish you set the meal down, or took care of him. And he paid no attention. He was so exhausted from work, he would just come home, eat, go grab a newspaper, or go sit down, watch TV and go to bed. So if you watch this behaviour as a child during your imprint, phase two, please is to love is what you were taught. Yep. So now you become a pleaser. Now you think by pleasing, that’s how you receive love. So once you discover that, then you can say, wait a minute, I can reverse that.

Pamela Bardhi
Totally, totally. Because, ya know, it’s the same thing for me. My parents were working like 13 15 hour days. So like, for me, it was always about pleasing them and making sure like, I made them happy. Because like, I would come home like after doing extracurriculars after school, after sports after doing all my homework and everything. And they wouldn’t see any of that. Like, I would say that the end result was always motivating them. And I’ve always had a hard time. Since that’s right.

Brindley Tucker
You’re absolutely right on a little bit of a high achiever. Awesome. Because you’re constantly trying to please mom and dad by achieving at a high level, right? So you receive love, right? Through achievement, which that you become hyper achiever. Hyper rational, if you are someone that had a lot of chaos, right around you. A lot of trauma, a lot of drama in the household, that you actually escaped in your own mind. You escaped through logic through thinking through all of that. So it’s just once we know where the original programming came from, there’s a sense of relief. You’re like, wait a minute, like, Yes, I have a responsibility to change it. I can’t accept the full responsibility for it being an existence correctly.

Pamela Bardhi
It fascinates and blows my mind every single time. Because when you break it down, it’s so true. That’s right. Every single like, every single stage that you were talking about everything. And the fact that you can live first, like it’s instant, that’s why like you’re joining to me is absolutely insane. Because it’s like that is the most drastic turnaround. Yeah, humanly possible. Absolutely. You know, and like neurolinguistics programming literally navigated you through that. Like even to get out of your relationship that was toxic. And I mean, I’m sure there’s people listening right now they’ve got a toxic person in their life.

Whether it be their significant other loved one or whatever. Like, how do you then start setting boundaries reversing the mind? We’re talking about? You’re walking around your house, you’re like, what’s, you know, like, you mentioned the book. That was one thing that helped you. And just some other things that you used to just like, become aware and programme that thinking in an alternate way? And then what were the steps you took to kind of like, remove all toxicity? Out of my life? Yeah,

Brindley Tucker
So you know, you are generally tells the show that some of the average of the five people you surround yourself with. Obviously, you know, I was hanging out at bars. And, you know, most of my friends were addicts and bartenders. So I had to get rid of about 95% of my inner circle. And what’s interesting is, when you do that, the people that are supposed to be in your life will come. There are there are quite a few people that came back. And sometimes walking away, can be a very difficult thing.

So if you are, I would say to anyone that is listening. If you are in a relationship, or you’re with someone that you’re having a difficult time getting away. The best thing to do is to find someone that will help you, whether that’s a professional, a friend that cares about you or a family member. So that you can do it have an outside perspective to help you do it in a safe way. I mean, those are probably are gonna be a lot of people that are listening that could be in life threatening situations if they walk away. There are ways to do that in a very easy way, protected way, safe way. And there is a way and that’s what I want people to know. If you’re sitting there and you don’t believe there’s a way there’s always a way.

They’re the number one cause of depression and suicide is a lack of a compelling future. People believe that they have no future. And so the first thing I tell people is to write what your perfect future looks, search and create that compelling future. Because then what that does, it starts to give you energy. It starts to open your mind to possibility, right and seeing the other side. Because really what it is it’s a belief system was interesting. There’s a documentary that just came out sweet obey pray, or something to that effect. And it’s about the religion where they have multiple wives split up.

It is about one of the biggest sporting events in our country. And the whole premise of the documentary is how they released. They went into these camps and release these women and got these women out of this polygamous community. Oh, it’s interesting, is that the majority of them guess what they did? Once they were rescued from that polygamous community? Guess what they did? They went right into another one, because you can take them out of the environment. Yeah, if you don’t change the belief, the belief still to them is that by being a wife, they’re serving God.

And it gives them a higher place in heaven and a higher purpose. So you have to change the belief. And you change the belief by showing the possibility of what your life can look like without that belief. So you have to think through what your life would look like, if you weren’t in that relationship right now. What would your life look like if you were surrounded by positive positive energy versus negative energy? What would your life look like if you weren’t being beat every day.

And start imagining the possibility and now you can start to reverse the belief. Because what happens with a lot of trauma and addiction and abuse is that they believe that that’s their only option. And they also believe sometimes that that’s love, because they know, they know no different. No, no, nothing else. So once I got my mind straight, and then I was able to get my emotional intelligence in order.

Pamela Bardhi
Like you mentioned, the lack of a compelling future. That’s everything. Well, I have a very close level in that. That was addiction.

Brindley Tucker
Yeah, very, very close to the addiction is one of the highest in our brand. But in our country,

Pamela Bardhi
I mean, three times, we found OD. And by the grace of God, the higher power, the heavens universe, all of the things, he is now in a job that he absolutely loves. He’s empowered and really loved it and all that stuff. And it’s like, he thought there was no way out the lack of a compelling future. It’s almost like I had to reverse his belief system over years and years and years and constantly be is truly awesome.

We’d be like, pressing on his case. And like now he’s in he’s in a place where he’s empowered. And it’s like, the coolest thing ever. So like, eight is totally possible. That’s right, no matter what. Now that he’s there, he sees it as a wow. Yeah, like I didn’t. Real. Like I could have never seen this for myself. So it’s super key. The cheerleaders along the way, too. Well, guess what they can do?

Brindley Tucker
Like, are you surrounded by people that are co signing your BS? Where are you surrounded by people that are supporting where you want to go in line, right, hands down. And you know, you have to feed your mind daily, your worst enemy is between your two ears. Every day, you have to do something that’s going to turn it into your ally. Whether that’s a you know, in the beginning, it was affirmations, I had them on my bathroom wall. They were im statements, I would scream them in the shower, I recorded them with my voice. It was a spot check inventory. In the beginning, I would keep a notebook by me. And when certain thoughts would come up, I would write it down.

So that I could get it out of my head and on paper, and then I could look for various patterns. I would also use that same system. When I started mastering my emotions. I would write down when I would react, why I would react, what constitutes what triggered it. So that I could start to go back and reverse the triggers and find out why I often joke that I was raised by a single mom. I’m an only child, the whole world was about me. For 18 years. For 18 years, the entire world was about me. There was nothing to distract my mother. She wasn’t married. Everything she did eat, breathe work was for me.

So then I get out of the home. Why wouldn’t I think that the whole world was about. And I was selfish, self centred. I’m an only child with a whole world and still at 42. If something doesn’t go my way, my inner 10 year old comes out. I wants to throw a temper tantrum. But it’s so true like it is in yet. Instead of telling being told and believing that I was selfish and self centred by seeing it that way. It went, Wait a minute, why wouldn’t I be that way now? Now became the decision. Do I want to change? Because for a lot of us, we want to stay in comfort. And it’s comfortable to stay with what we know it’s comfortable to stay in that Hey dinner. It’s very uncomfortable to reverse it. It’s very uncomfortable to change.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. And you decided to change it like, it’s just, it’s just fascinating how everything stems from our upbringing, all programming,

Brindley Tucker
Well then think about, you know, you’re going to be going into motherhood soon. I have a lot of friends that are private. So really, if you’re out there, and you’re listening, and you have kids, I really want to hone in on under seven. What are you saying, what TV do you have on in the background that you think they don’t understand? Like their minds? That’s why they say kids are like sponges, they’re soaking everything in. And then if you have children that are seven to 14, find out what’s going on in those homes. What are those parents belief systems? Are their moral compasses Do you have the same value system as them.

Just because they have a white picket fence and a golden doodle doesn’t mean that everything behind closed doors is peachy. And then if they’re in the 14 to 21, you know, I just talked about this with a client. They’ve got teenagers, and the marriage isn’t good. They were staying together for the kids. And I said, the worst thing you can do stay together for the kids, because they’re watching you right now. They’re modelling you, you’re teaching them how to treat you’re teaching your sons how to treat a woman. You’re teaching your daughters how to be treated by men. By staying, you’re telling them that it’s okay to be unhappy. So I was really thinking about these various, and that’s how you can start to break the generational cycle of the programming. If you’re aware of how you’re now programming the next generation?

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely, that awareness is absolutely huge. And I, I just like your story, just it just blows my mind. And so you did all these affirmations, you did all the gangs, and then you got into NLP, and you really understood the psychology.

Brindley Tucker
That’s right, that point. And then, and then the hardest part came, then the hardest part. The hardest part was emotional intelligence. Because our emotions are everything. Every learning how to not be reacted to certain things or objects, or that’s right, all of that. And that’s why when I teach people how to come back from seemingly hopeless places, you have to do it in this order. Yes, if you truly want change, and you want to become a different human, you have to do the spiritual first. Because you have to stop playing that, then you have to get the mental the mind.

Because if the mind isn’t right, you will not be able to master your emotions. And then the final piece, which we’ll talk about, which is the physical. So the emotional intelligence was a big one for me. Because I was a highly, highly triggered, emotional individual. I don’t know if you studied human design. But if you look at my human design, if you look at my desk, if you look at my saboteurs, everything is emotionally based. I am an Aries, I am fire, right, like every single thing in my life, screams emotion. And so I had to learn how to change from become being a very reactive individual to being a very responsive individual.

I studied emotional intelligence to the point though, I started mastering my emotions. That’s what I would do the spot check inventory and write down what triggers me. Right, what what caused it? And then my leadership emotions in my leadership didn’t come till probably, gosh, a year or two ago. That came away after the full body event changed, you know, that I can start mastering leadership. So when I talk about emotional intelligence, in this phase of my life, it’s strictly as personal emotions and how they were affecting my life. I mean, they truly were taking over my life, I was not a nice person. I wasn’t a nice person.

Pamela Bardhi
And so that’s one of the biggest things is like, the release. That’s right, like, how do you release those trapped emotions? First of all, how do we even become aware of that, like you said, this job check was really key to view. Then how do you release them so that they don’t ever bother you again?

Brindley Tucker
That’s right, well, and you know, it’s a journey. It’s an onion layer, and they still come, they just had a little bit further. And far between you learn how to master them more. NLP really helps me with the emotional triggers, because the more I was able to identify where they were coming from, the easier it was. My grandmother was raised by a prostitute in Pensacola. And she would be taken to the bars and put up on you know, bars and told that she was her mother’s sister. She was beaten by her mother and a lot of emotional turmoil that I believe was passed. Boundaries are passed down generationally because my grandmother would never became an alcoholic.

But she had the anger and she would clear whole dressers in front of my aunts and uncles. So I think a lot of that came down to me and again, the more I sought to understand it, the more I could release this. And emotions aren’t a bad thing. We say you’re too emotional. You know, I used to call rejoice for crying but I cried. And I cried and I cried. What was that movie for the president’s wife died? Oh, Independence Day. I cried an Independence Day when the President said that I cried everything. I would apologise for it because it would be a sign of weakness. Well, all tears are is expressing on the outside I feel means. So once I started to understand my emotions, and where they were coming from, that I was able to start releasing.

Pamela Bardhi
I’ll never forget this one. I went to NLP training and we do the whole

Brindley Tucker
On and on. Yeah,

Pamela Bardhi
And I’m not like in being stepping into the masculine. Yeah, always. I never, ever really cry still kind of don’t, like still stuck on working through. But like, I did that exercise, lost it within like a minute, I was like, Whoa, I had so much going on. I didn’t even know. So I’m trying to get better at those like,

Brindley Tucker
You aren’t going to get

Pamela Bardhi
Those emotions. But it’s just so fascinating how much we can hold inside and how much that affects us.

Brindley Tucker
Well, that’s right. For those who are listening, whoa, whoa, whoa, is a Hawaiian forgiveness exercise. You google it. It’s, it’s a great, I do it quite often. Because we do need to seek forgiveness for ourselves and for others. And I think with the emotional intelligence piece, a lot of it was the power of the pause. Going back to that first thought you can’t control the first emotion. You can’t control the second one you can. So sometimes you just have to pause, let the emotion pass. You know, Eckhart Tolle is one of my mentors, I got to recently near him live in Seattle. And he talks about that, when you’re in the present moment. You’re not comparing yourself to something you think you shouldn’t be. Or regretting something that you haven’t done.

And that’s all emotion is, emotion. negative emotion is fear of, of losing something that you have, or not getting something that you want. So if you can pause for a moment and gain clarity on what it is you’re afraid to lose, or afraid you’re not going to get. You can take care of the emotion like that. So it’s building the habit to pause. Take a minute, take a breather, you also don’t have to show up to every conversation you’re invited to. You’re allowed to exit the conversation, you’re allowed to say and set a boundary and say, Can we come back to this? I’m not feeling in the best way to receive this or to deliver. Can we take a minute and revisit, it’s fascinating.

Pamela Bardhi
It really just all these little techniques that all these nuggets, everything that you’re imagining really is like gold. Because these are the things that can change your life. That’s right. Like if you start to learn how to master your mind, bits and pieces. All the nuggets that you drop like that is that can literally change your life. I always say master your mind, you master your life. So once you become consciously aware, then the whole manifestation side of things where you start to, okay. Because your unconscious mind doesn’t know any difference between past present, and future powers listening to.

Whenever and I’m going to ask for your manifestation tips together after we get into the fourth part Which is the physical. But your manifestation like after you gain that conscious awareness reversed your mind. And kind of how you stepped into that world because like what you’re doing now. I can’t even like wrap my mind around the amazingness and all that you are right. So yeah, so I just wanted to hear about that. Because I’ve been through a similar journey where it was like the awareness. The release and all this and then all of a sudden you become this, like, manifester, it’s clarity.

Brindley Tucker
Once you start to clean out the old, you can start putting the new back in. You do the dumb, and now you get to refill it. Empty, the baggage and all the old now you can start to replace it with a new. So once I got the emotional intelligence figured out, and this is it’s so interesting how the mind works. Because a beautiful thing called COVID. I’ve gone through the spiritual change, I’d gone through the mental change. And the emotional change, I was still going through prior to COVID. And it was really the emotional intelligence was probably the hardest part of the journey for me.

So then COVID hits. Well, prior to COVID you would find me live on Facebook. Every time the camera was on. You I had hair extensions down here. I thought every single person in the world should want to hear what I have to say my ego was massive. And when you live by yourself in the middle of a national pandemic. Guess you have to spend a lot of time with yourself, and I got real clear on my avatar. So who I want it to be my highest and best spiritually, mentally, emotionally. I physically down to like, what I wanted my rear end. And I used to be the girl that would say, if you see me running, you should probably run. Because I’m running to something or away from it.

And during COVID, I would start walking the walk. Then I would run from one stop sign to the next. And then I’d run from what one stop sign to the next two stop signs. Before you knew it, I was running it by fit, and I lost 45 pounds during COVID. Yet more importantly, when I got clear on and congruent with my values, and who I wanted to be, and how I’m going to show up in the world. There’s something around physical transformation, that gives you a confidence, a healthy comfort. That’s why I say the physical has to be at the end. Because if the physical is in the beginning, then the ego is driven with the confidence that comes.

Because you haven’t done the mental and emotional release work. If you do the emotion, or the mental and emotional release work first. Then the ego is pretty diminished by the time you get to the physical. So the physical now becomes more about feeling that on the inside than the outside. Because remember, self worth comes from the inside self confidence comes from the outside. And so you want your physical transformation to actually be more driven by self worth than self confidence.

And so then now I felt stronger, I felt more congruent, I started building healthy habits. I started learning about my gut and what I was putting into it. And what I was putting into my body and how to listen to my body. For those of you that are in your mid 30s, I say run, don’t walk to get your hormones checked. Start monitoring your hormones, in your mid 30s, it will change your life, I think a lot of us wait too long. So we suffer a lot in our late 30s and early 40s with hormonal imbalances.

That we just, we don’t even know what’s causing it, all these things are happening. And it comes down to our hormones. So that was a big transformation for me, because now it also built disciplined and structured. You know, now I’m routinely I’m up at 515. Every morning, I’m in the gym. You know, I intermittent fast, I watch what I eat. So now it’s this whole body, you know, transformation. It doesn’t end there. Now I have to do something every day to feed my spirit, feed my mind. Master my emotions and feed my body as it was as long as I do that every day. I know that I’m on the right.

Pamela Bardhi
Renew your stories, like fascinating. Just like the whole, the vocal thing and like it just blows blows my mind. And I mean, because you’re been going through all of this internally kind of this whole transformation this whole route. It’s like still ongoing, right? Like, I’m still working on it every single day. Like how you built your business is really fascinating to me. So I want to hear a little bit about like the real estate like it’s of course, yeah. And I do want to talk to that.

Brindley Tucker
I think that’s really, really important. Yeah, maybe we wrap with the manifestation. Since it’s more on personal development, and then we’ll go to the real estate. So there’s so much power in our intuition, and our manifestation. And in order to start tapping into that, you have to listen. And it’s very simple. It’s the voice in your head that tells you maybe I should go check that curling iron before I walk out the door. Or maybe or I bet that light is on upstairs. Then you don’t check if you come home the lights on or the curling irons like that. Yep. It’s that simple. If you start listing, just start with listening to those little voices and following them. That’s the key.

It’s not about the voice. It’s about do you actually follow through with it? As silly as it may seem? Just listen, start listening. Because if you start listening at a small minut granular level, then you’ll be able to listen to the bigger things. My team calls me. It depends on the day, Somebody’s good. Which some days it’s the Wicked Witch of the West. They’re like, you just know style. Yeah, how do you just you know stuff. And I texted someone yesterday, and they’re like, how do you know when to texts me? And I’m like, it just it’s my intuition. We all have it is do we choose to listen? Right and act on it? Knowledge is not power. Execution is power. Hearing the voices, the knowledge, okay, now I know it. How am I going to act on it?

And that’s the most simple way and then with manifestation. It’s you have to really make sure you’re not manifesting against your manifestations. Because that’s what happens a lot. And I recently realised this and I kind of tell this funny story on myself. That I had gone out to dinner with a dear friend of mine named Judy John’s. Judy is an 83 year old realtor out of Kansas City, Missouri. cutest thing you’ve ever seen. Her husband’s name is coach. They’ve been married for 50 years. She looks at him the same way and that they did. I’m sure the first time they met, and she says to me, brinly Do you have a list? I’m like, What do you mean, Judy? Like a list of what you want and a life partner? I said, Well, I don’t have a list.

She goes, I need a list. And I need a specific list. Like, I want to know his hair colour is eye colour where he lives, because I want to pray over your list. I was like, Well, Judy, John selling Jewish prayer list, you’re getting a list together. So I’m coming home from that trip. And I sit down in my seat on the aeroplane. This wonderful man sits down. We talk the entire two and a half hour flight. We have the same values, same political beliefs. He is highly successful travels the world. A whole time I’m sitting there Pamela thinking there is no way that I date this man because he was 78 years old. I woke up and I go, Okay, God, I got it. Thanks, Judy. I’ll be more specific.

I went home that night. And I really started thinking about it. I started thinking about what I wanted in a partner and why I didn’t have a life partner. And what I realised was I was saying, I wanted this partner in life. Yet, I was telling everyone that I was lucky I wasn’t married and didn’t have kids because nothing tying me down. So I was actually manifesting against what I actually wanted to manifest in my life. So you really have to make sure you’re clear on your vision and what you want because your unconscious mind is always listening. Oh, the universe will give you what you asked for. Yeah,

Pamela Bardhi
Well, I guess she doesn’t want to be tied down. So there we go.

Brindley Tucker
That’s right. And then you want to learn what type of manifester you are. Some people need to be very specific manifesters. I actually don’t have to be, I actually can be a very generalised manifester. Because the universe typically will give me what I want and surprises me and gives you something better. Because I don’t need to be specific, right? There is an energetic purpose behind manifestation based on where you are energetically. Human Design teaches you that if you study human design, it’ll tell you what type of manifester you are.

And so now I remember Thursday, driving under a bridge seven years ago. On the phone with a friend who was travelling a lot for work. And I just thought my mind and be really cool. I mean, a year and a half later, I was on the road. 150 200 days. That’s insane, right. But again, it comes with the clarity when you learn to accept and just receive and be in the flow, and be okay with whatever’s coming. Because you’re no longer in fear of losing something, or not getting what you want.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, I love that. Well, it sounds like the clarity, like you said, and I feel like from there, you can start to put strings where you want. It’s like, Oh, what, I like this, let’s do more of that. I like this, let’s not do this like, it becomes so interesting. And people are desperately like, I don’t get it. I’m like, well, it’s very long and complicated journey. But a lot of things like manifestation, like the awareness side of things. I’m like letting go of previous belief systems and surrounding myself with people that I adore, and respect and love so much. And like, learning from them, and then be saying, Okay, well, what do I want in my life?

How do I make these decisions aren’t consciously I remember myself, like, I would be sitting at home? And I would be like, Nope, I don’t know. That’s not no negative thoughts. Bye, bye, bye. And I literally it was like, maybe three months that I quit, like, I wasn’t constantly constantly until it was beaten into my head, and it reversed the programming.Tthis was kind of before NLP. Like it was just like positive thinking, reading the secret and stuff like that. It’s like, no, no, no, we don’t think like that. You literally sound crazy. But like, you literally need to talk that unconscious mind. And make sure it’s on the same wavelength as what, who you are, but you have to know why.

Brindley Tucker
And that’s the thing is we’re racing so much. That’s why meditation is so powerful. Yeah, even if you just you know, a lot of people I coach through meditation is just start with a kitchen timer, and set it for a minute. And just for a minute, look for the orange life in close your eyes. Just don’t think and if you meet that simple. Also detect Deepak Chopra, and Oprah Did you know many 21 day meditation challenge as you can now get them online. That’s how I started my meditation journey was with one of those. Guided Meditation is a great thing.

And don’t overthink it. You don’t have to sit like Buddha and yoga, to do your meditation. Yeah, lay in bed and meditate. Like, do whatever is comfortable for you, that is going to give you that stillness, to allow your mind to receive. And have that great creativity needs space, new things need creativity, and they need space. If we don’t create that space, then we can’t create new behaviours or new thinking or new new lines.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely well, it’s just the whole fascination of all of it. Like, like for me, I could never sit down and be quiet because my mind is like. But if I’m in the car with music blasting, that’s when I’m upstairs. It’s so bizarre so to me my meditations to music, that the hardest time they sitting still. Even if it was from India, like my mind would just start going tanks right that in directions. But if I’m listening to a song or listening to a beat, I completely like immerse myself and I go, that’s like, you found your path. Yeah, they trained so incredible.

How different this like to find your space, like, Is it art? Is it when you’re painting? Is it like, whatever it is, as long as your mindset still? That’s right. During that time, whatever it is that you do whatever your meditation may look like, like you said, even in bed? No, I mean, everyone has a different like, it’s just so it’s just so fascinating how like things can come. And for me also to its travel experience, or when I’m in the shower. That’s right. I find that whenever I’m around water, I tend to be much. Yes. Clear. Yeah. Which is why probably why I love cruises so much when surrounded by things

Brindley Tucker
You’ll hear me say a lot is if you start to get into chaos, there’s two things you can do immediately to get out of it. Number one, look down at your feet and say Where are My feet? Where are my feet right now at this exact moment. And then also go find a patch of grass, outside, right in your front yard. Wherever it needs to be take your shoes off, and just stand in the grass and take a moment and get reground into the earth. And those two little things can bring you out of chaos and get you to a congruent centre, centre energy point. So then have that pause. Yet don’t overcomplicate it, it can be that simple.

Pamela Bardhi
And overcomplicated something we all well, I need to be this and this and this and like, I love those tips. What

Brindley Tucker
Were the hardest were hardest on ourselves. We want to be perfect. And again, it goes back to what Eckert teaches us. Our ego is it’s not ego is not just hey, look at me. I’m amazing, right? We all have ego. Ego is what prevents us from becoming our highest enlightened selves and reaching full awareness because it’s constantly comparing. We’re comparing ourselves what we think we should be, that we’re not that we’re lacking, or to something in the past that we regret. And there’s power in the present moment. Where are you right now? Because that’s really all you can control. You know, living in the past is depression living in the future is anxiety. That’s it, right? Like a president

Pamela Bardhi
It’s yeah, it’s against whatever they want. They will never forget the perception. What told me that I was like, like, it was like they had unlocked like a magic box. For me. It’s a gift. And I’m like, sorry, I wonder it’s called. That it’s so true. Because yeah, I mean, if you hit like. You got to take things one day at why you start thinking like this, isn’t this I mean, don’t get me wrong. Go ahead and write down long term goals, Mid Term Goals and all that stuff. But like, chunk it down, took it down.

Brindley Tucker
No, I totally talked a lot about five year vision anymore. Most people can’t fathom. Five years. And there’s so much that can happen. Oh, yeah. 36 months? Sounds a lot more attainable. That’s that. Start there, and then work backwards. I’m going to be there in 36 months, then where do I want to be in 24? Which is two years? And then where do I want to be in 12, which is a year.

Pamela Bardhi
I love that you break it down a month, it seemed makes it seem so much less like intimidating. Meaning that when you say yours? Oh, yeah. I’m so inspired and just Oh, my gosh, and so your real estate journey? Obviously, this kind of all happened at the same time.

Brindley Tucker
Right? Well, so the accident happened in May of 2012. But prior right prior to that, November 2011, I started I decided I wanted to go into real estate. And put my resume out to become a real estate assistant. Because everything my mother had taught me was in real become an assistant first. And that’s how you learn and mentor. I was hired by Nikki Well, Dini, who’s very well known in the state of Florida. She’s been my biggest cheerleader in my career. She hired me to be the Director of agent services for her brokerage.

And so basically, I adult babysat all day long agents and made sure they were happy and and then I went to the real estate conference in February 2012. Which is where I found out, you know, found her God family business. And really, that was what started the the transformation and then the accident happened in May 2012. Obviously, Nikki and she had just, I always like to honour him because she had just hired a new managing broker. Howard Weinstein and he had been on a job for like, a month. Now he’s dealing with one of his staff members facing 15 years in prison and two felonies and the agents are in an uproar.

And I remember going back back a few years into sobriety and being able to a few years into recovery. Being able to say, make my amends to him for that for that, because I’m sure it was not fun. So obviously, they had to let me go from the brokerage yet a few agents in the office knew that I wanted to rebuild my life. And so they said, we’ll come help us do admin. So I would obviously, I couldn’t drive at the time. I would take my laptop and bungee cords from Walmart, I went and bought a $99 beach cruiser from Walmart. They have no shocks, no brakes, and I would strap my laptop to the back of it every morning. I would go bike from real estate office to real estate office just picking up work as an admin.

So working on their databases doing their websites, I could do pretty strong website design and Dreamweaver at the time. And so I built basically my first leverage business on a bike with a laptop. And some days I bike, I always say I had a nice rear end and Phillips County. Because somebody’s you know, like, like, 40 to 60 miles a day. Then one day, Fred Kahless, called me, and he said, Hey, Brian, I’m not happy with my transaction coordinator. Do you want to do my transactions? I’m like, sure, because you always say yes, right? You figure this out later.

And I call it Maureen Casco who was a relaxation of the time and I said, marine friend call us wants me to do his transactions. And he wants to pay me a lot of money. It was like a whopping like, 395. It’s actually I don’t know how to do a transaction. So she recorded and it was before video before we had fancy cell phones. She recorded how to do a Florida State real estate transaction from contract, so executed contract to close. I listened to that over and over and over. And that’s how I built my first TC business. So in about three years, I went from just myself to doing about 2000 real estate transactions a year. With a team of about six, and in 2016, so that was 2012 2013 ish.

I’m in a real estate kind of event. And I do a pitch because we would sponsor realtor events to grow in RTC business. That morning, you know, there’s mornings that you just wake up and you just know you’re on. Like I never scripted scripted my pitches like but this morning, for some reason. Like I’m in the shower, and I’m talking about how I leverage tea ordering and like a story to tell about leverage. I’m wearing a red dress and my hair just gotten done. And I walked out that day and did that pitch and I nailed it. There was a gentleman in the room, he tapped me on the shoulder and he said, What are you doing? You’re way too gifted and talented to be doing transactions.

And we went to dinner that night and came up with a whole plan to sell my business in three months, and sell it to my employees. So I got to help a lot of moms become independent transaction coordinator. Some of them still have those businesses today, seven years later, yeah. And are Yeah, six years later, I ended up going to work for a big coaching company inside the real estate industry. They asked me to come build out their whole operations coaching programme. Because what we find is most Realtors know how to selling a house. They don’t have a problem selling the house, their natural born salespeople.

They don’t know how to be business owners yet, they don’t know how to scale the business, they don’t know how to run a p&l. They don’t know how to set up the systems models and tools they need to run a successful real estate business. So what happens is most of them end up burning out of the business. Because they’re trying to do all of it. And then what we found was now these teams started being created to solve that pain point. Come give us 50% of your GCI, we’ll give you all the leverage you need, which is great. It’s a great model. And there’s a lot of people that want that because they want that sense of community. They want to be a part of something.

And that’s wonderful. Yet I wanted something for the agent that didn’t need the community but needed the leverage. I didn’t want them to feel that you have to give away half your earnings just to be able to have administrative and operational leverage. So I left that coaching company right before COVID and decided to build the vision. The business had been a little bit like we’ve been dabbling and things while I was writing while I was building the coaching programmes, but nothing major. So I came back in took the entire business down to the stents which was me. And in the last three years, we’ve been building all the pieces so we now do hiring and training.

Yet first we start with fractional operations. So we basically do TC listing management database social media and for hire fractional assistance. So rather than putting a full $80,000 proven talent on your p&l. You can hire one that’s proven US base 10 You know, 10 hours a week, just get the work done. Then once you are spending we track spending so once you’re spending a lot on that fractional piece. Now we can find your full time person. We now hire train. We offer all the supports amazing and then we go To consult and operation, so it’s pretty, it’s pretty neat. And we get to change a lot of lives, we get to help a lot of business owners,

Pamela Bardhi
You’re amazing. Well, those are the tools, right that like, so did you have to drive, you have the grit, you have everything. But if you don’t have the right pieces in place, you’re never gonna scale, you’re only gonna get to a plateau level. And I can speak for those myself, because I’ve experienced that, and experience. And truth be told, like, that’s exactly how it is. No matter how great you are, you can only go further faster with a team, you can only scale with a team. If you miss some elements, you can be God. But like, you can’t do it all yourself.

Brindley Tucker
It’s just impossible to succeed through others. And it’s an interesting time. I just spoke at an event yesterday that, you know, we’re at a generational shift. And I’m hearing a lot of the older generation say they’re so entitled. They don’t want to work. They have all these, you know, expectations that they need. And I said, Well, no, they want to work. It just looks different. Yeah, it looks very different. 75% of our workforce is going to be millennials by the year 2020. What’s most important to them is freedom and flexibility. Absolutely right and purpose to purpose, and 79% of them leave their jobs for lack of appreciation. Then we have a mental health crisis.

It was interesting. I read a study that you know, because a lot of them want to work from home. So we’re in this remote revolution, as I call it. Because yeah, the baby boomers are like I don’t understand. And I’ve gone to work every day commuting is your thing. And then now COVID. Right, put us back in. I think 47% of workers said that if they were forced to go back into the office, they would quit. It’s crazy. What’s interesting and fascinating is that 72% of them say they now work weekends, because they work from home. 48% of them say that they actually work more hours.

Pamela Bardhi
Working from home. So weird.

Brindley Tucker
Yes. So productivity is actually increasing. Wow, yeah, we have this mentality that because we can’t see them. We don’t know if they’re working. And we have to shift the mentality. And we have to start studying empathetic leadership. We have to become better leaders. If we want to keep people today, because the average millennial will say in a role, 2.8 years. So if you don’t have another role for them, that will give them more new creativity or landscape. They will leave and then you’ve lost that investment in that human capital. Yeah, imagine that. I’ve seen it because all my all my friends millennials, didn’t like it here and always shifting there.

And I’m like, you know, and here’s a funny another thing that I think is part of it is that we’re afraid to hold people accountable. So we’re loving people right out of the business. And it’s interesting, I read something recently that 82% of employees want feedback, regardless if it’s negative or positive. When they’re not getting the feedback, they will leave. So if you have a lack of accountability and a lack of appreciation, they will leave you. You know, KPIs, keep people inspired. Ah, I love that. KPIs are tied to revenue. Yeah. Metrics are tied to activities.

What happens is, is we hold people accountable to the activities. And then we wonder why we’re broke at the end of the year, because nothing is tied to the revenue. So you have to have a healthy balance of both. Because I can make 150 dials a day and not sell a single thing. If I have a KPI that I need to generate this amount of GCI through my dials, am I going to be more intentional about my conversations? Oh, yeah, yes, I’m going to convert at a higher level because I have a revenue goal, but GCI

Pamela Bardhi
I love that keep people inspired. That’s such a great way to do it. Because, you know, keep a progress indicator. That’s amazing. Well, I mean, this is this is the secret sauce to building a business and scaling operations. Like if you can learn how to leverage Yeah, that is everything. And the fact that you provide that support is incredible. And I know that you’re expanding like wildfire, which is absolutely amazing.

Brindley Tucker
Well, and we just want to help people, right, I just I want to help business owners have businesses workload. Because I just see the grind, you know, I’m teaching a class now and work life integration balance is bullshit. And somebody said about the word balance this morning, and I said, You got to stop using the word balance. It’s like saying something is normal. Normal is a setting on a washing machine. There’s no such thing as balance, you have one life, you know, to integrate all of it.

And we can today rather than run home at lunch, to feed your dog, bring your dog to work, you know, check with your boss first. Those things, you know, rather than having to rush out or put your kids in latch key. Ask at the conference or is being used. Like we live in a We’re all the flexibility today if we choose to do it. And we will actually get more productivity out of people, when we integrate their lives into the workplace. We allow them to integrate their lives into the world.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. And that’s what everybody’s looking for now is the freedom and the flexibility. Then a lot of people are taking a side hustle. So like you said, people are actually working more, it’s just like, on their terms. That’s right now, for any entrepreneur who’s listening right now. Or anybody who’s interested in becoming an entrepreneur. What’s your biggest piece of advice for any entrepreneurs, or aspiring entrepreneurs.

Brindley Tucker
Master your time, time is our most precious commodity. And time integrity is a very important thing. You have 24 hours in a day, you can’t find more, the only way that you can get more times by mastering your minutes. We underestimate what we can do in 60 seconds and overestimate what we can do in 60 minutes. So you have to get to a place where you’re actually mastering your minutes. The only way that you can do that at a high level is through time blocking. And scheduling your days, and I use you know, it was funny.

Before I came this morning, I pulled up my phone and somebody saw my calendar. They were like, they made fun of it. And I said, No, no, this is peace. Would you like me to walk you through the system? Somebody else threw up their phone and started recording me. And I took them through the system because the way that you can master your time and see everything in one place is your calendar. Right and like and create these blocks of time to make sure family is getting a piece of you. You’re getting a piece of you self care. If you don’t fill your bucket you can’t tell anybody else’s right your team, right you and I we own multiple businesses.

I’m colour coded on my calendar. My personal time is in my favourite colour. Family time is in one colour. My real estate businesses in one colour, my coaching clients are in one colour. And then anyone that requires me to be on time in person is a different colour. Because those are not movable. And what this does is by seeing the colours of the rainbow, I know Okay, everyone is getting enough. So that’s if you can master your time. Yes. You can put a high value on your time and then surround yourself with people that protection. That would be my best advice.

What Would Brindley Older Self Tell Her Younger Self

Pamela Bardhi
I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Absolutely. Now my favourite question. What would your older self tell your younger self based on what you know now?

Brindley Tucker
You’re enough.

Pamela Bardhi
So beautiful. Thank you for sure. Sometimes it’s hard. Like it’s like the simple things sometimes that you just can’t wrap your mind around. But that that is beautiful. I would tell myself the same thing. The same exact thing, the same exact thing. You’re absolutely amazing.

Brindley Tucker
No, you are an honour, thank you so much for having me are amazing.

Pamela Bardhi
So what are you up to in the next six to 12 months? What’s going on in Brindley.

Brindley Tucker
Well, we’re starting you know, we’ve got the real estate business so you can follow us on your Realty leverage. We’d love to help you figure out leverage, just call us we’ll do this console, figure out the best piece of leverage for you. I have a great team, please honour them by reaching out and see if we can help. And then I’m going to be working on a lot of personal content. So a lot of things that we talked about today. I’m going to be rolling out some personal development courses and speaking. Do you want me to come and speak to your group? You can follow me brinly Tucker, you can go to Bradley tucker.com. So we’re excited. I’m excited.

Pamela Bardhi
Oh my god, I can’t wait. I can’t wait to see all the things manifest because you’ve helped everyone else leverage and crank out their business. And now you get to focus on you, Bradley. I’m excited. I can’t wait to see you on more stages. And you’re gonna have those best selling books. She’s amazing. So thank you so much for being here today for being so inspiring and being open. And I adore you and I love you dearly. Thank you so much.

Brindley Tucker
Thank you. You’re amazing.

Pamela Bardhi
So that’s it for today’s episode of underdog. catch us next week, always dropping on Thursdays. And remember, if you’re interested in real estate. Or want to learn how to create more money and magic in your life. Check out meet with pamela.com and let’s chat sending you so so much love.