Join Pamela Bardhi in this special holiday episode of the UnderDog Podcast as she shares the transformative journey of her personal growth, entrepreneurship, and overcoming adversities in 2023. Through introspection and resilience, Pamela shares profound insights and invaluable lessons learned during this eventful year.
Pamela takes us through the ups and downs of her journey, sharing how she navigated the unexpected challenges that came her way. She shares how she stayed focused on her goals and remained true to herself, even when faced with difficult decisions and setbacks.
Here are some of the Key Takeaways:
- Personal Growth & Lessons Learned: Pamela Bardhi reflects on a year marked by profound personal growth, emphasizing the significance of discernment and healing from past struggles. Her decision to pivot from real estate development towards clarity and purpose defines her journey in 2023.
- Entrepreneurship, Accountability: Lessons learned through experiences with third-party contractors underscore the necessity of establishing key performance indicators (KPIs) and regular check-ins for entrepreneurs.
- Self-care is not being lazy: Pamela advocates for self-care, urging entrepreneurs to embrace clarity and rest as essential components of success.
- Healing Childhood Wounds and Triggers: Because of the earlier issues that arose this year, Pam was reminded of the childhood adversity she had experienced. Pamela shares the emotional impact and the imperative healing process from past wounds. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging triggers and undertaking emotional release and reprogramming.
- Motherhood, Growth, & Lessons Learned: Pamela Bardhi’s journey into motherhood in 2023 becomes a canvas for growth and personal evolution. She emphasizes the value of learning life’s lessons, recognizing patterns, and embracing the joys of parenting despite external criticisms.
- Overcoming Hardship in Real Estate Success: Pamela shares her journey of resilience, overcoming a major surgery while fortifying her team and enabling others, like John Silva, to achieve personal and professional milestones in the real estate realm.
- Entrepreneurship, Real Estate, & Reflecting on 2023: As she gears up to launch a company focused on enhancing property values, Pamela reflects on the lessons and patterns of 2023, urging listeners to do the same. Additionally, she emphasizes the importance of family time during the holiday season.
Join us for this special holiday episode of the UnderDog Podcast. Listen to this exciting episode here:
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The Underdog Podcast host is none other than Pamela Bardhi. She’s rocking the Real Estate Realm and has dedicated her life as a Life Coach. She is also in the Forbes Real Estate Council. To know more about Pam, check out the following:
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Click To Read The Transcript
Pamela Looks Back on 2023’s Growth, New Horizons, Transformations and Healing Journey
Pamela Bardhi: Hello, everyone. Everyone, and welcome to the underdog podcast. Today I have the year end recap for you of my life and all the craziness that has happened in between it. I hope that you can resonate with part of it or somebody that, you know, learn some lessons and kind of listen along for the story. You will. Lots of underdog moments. this year, for sure. It’s crazy. The more that we elevate, this phrase comes to mind. Different levels, different devils. And that’s honestly exactly what this year was, right? Elevated in an extremely high way in this past year. And a lot of struggle, a lot.
Of mental recap, like, things that I thought I healed from that I didn’t, that definitely came back to bite me in the butt. Just so many different lessons and so many different things that happened in this past year. I mean, there’s so much beauty and then there is so much struggle at the same time. But I feel like all the growth is necessary, right? No pain, no progress. We’re always learning lessons as humans. We are always evolving. And every time we think we know everything, life humbles us yet again to. Remind us, like, yeah, no, you do not, sir. You do not. None of it.
And that’s really what I feel like 2023 was. It was a very eye opening year. Now, prior to this year, as you guys know, most of you know that I’m, a real estate developer by trade in the construction world, deal making, real estate development, like, all that hardcore stuff. And really, I pulled absolutely everything back. Starting in 2021 into 2022, I was finishing the remainder of my projects, and then 2023, I wanted to leave it as, like, a year of clarity because there were so many things that I felt like I wanted to do. I mean, I don’t know if you. Guys have struggled with shiny Object syndrome.
That’s something that really would get to me, right? You have all the opportunity in the world to do so many different things, and it’s like, well, what do I want to do? What do I really enjoy doing? What’s really my calling? And, oh, this opportunity comes up. And that opportunity comes up. There’s this gift of abundance with the amount of things that you could do in this world, because I’m connected to some of the most incredible humans that there is, there’s so much opportunity, which. Is good and bad.
And I think this year, one of the biggest lessons was definitely discernment. What is it that’s meant for me? Right. What is it that’s really meant for me? And I’ll get to that because that’s going to kind of tie into what’s coming up in 2024 and what I’m launching in 2024.
One of the biggest things I learned this year was auditing your team
But basically, so many different lessons, you guys. I can’t even believe the stuff I went through this year. I’m like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Some of it feels like a repeat, some of it feels new, some of it feels like. And then some of it is just absolutely incredible. So, one of the biggest things I think I’ve learned is auditing your team and who you’re hiring as entrepreneurs, we rely a lot on subcontractors or like accountants, different teams that help different areas of our business, and we think that everything’s well taken care of and things are being done and all of that stuff.
And if you don’t check back on that, if you don’t create KPIs and if you don’t know what a KPI is, key performance indicators to ensure that certain things are getting done, things are going to slip through the cracks. That’s exactly something that I went through this year. I’m hiring people thinking things are getting done and all of this, and then come to find out that it’s not, and when I look back at that and I’m like, oh. What really fell apart here, one of the biggest things was key performance indicators.
I did not check back with these. People, even though they’re not my employees, they’re not my third party. They’re a third party, technically, right? But anybody that you hire, anybody that you affiliate with, anyone that handles any part of your business, you need to make sure you have follow up set up with them and that you have your KPIs in order. Like, okay, what are the things that.
They are supposed to get done and. Bullet point them and check in on them and hold them accountable?Because what’s going to happen is sometimes.
That really doesn’t happen. I learned that the hard way and I took some pretty hard hits because of it. Just different areas of the business that really, had it been done correctly, I wouldn’t have gotten into one of the holes that I had regarding this situation. So any area of your business, guys, please make sure this accountability is in place by doing these key performance indicators and these check ins with those third party contractors or even anybody who’s representing your business or any part of your.
Business at all, even if their own. Entity, right, like a tax advisor or a financial advisor, whoever it may be, make sure you are setting that up so that, that way things are getting done and there’s accountability there. So that’s definitely huge. So auditing your team through doing that and even internally. Right, so I’m talking more externally, but even internally.
And also holding yourself accountable. Another thing that I found out this year is actually by being more successful, that makes you a lot more prone. To being lazy, which is ridiculous because.
That’s really what you work for. But truly, I found myself at certain points of this year that it felt so weird. It felt so weird to catch a break. And that’s probably a very toxic thing, honestly, to not really allow yourself to rest. So I’m m working on that still. But that’s also another thing that I really experienced this year that was interesting. I wasn’t used to it. I’m like, am I being lazy or am I just taking the time to reflect and rest and all that? And I know so many entrepreneurs who are listening and probably like, yeah, Pam, I definitely resonate.
And what I’ve learned was, it’s not you being lazy, it’s actually you taking a step back so you can gain that clarity so that you know, because if you’re always go, go, you’re not going to have that clarity to move forward, And that was one of my biggest problems. I was doing so much and all of that. There was different areas of my life that suffered because I was so focused on that one thing. So when I stepped back and I said, no, I’m going to reel it all the way back and I’m going to ask for clarity. There is a period of rest that needs to happen along with that in order to allow your brain to really gain that clarity, that it needs that.
Relaxation and that chill moment to really. Just soak it all in and know it’s not you being lazy, it’s actually you recalibrating. And I think that’s really important because I think for me, I was really hard on myself at certain times where it felt like things weren’t moving, but. They actually were right. So give yourself that grace to allow for that space and energy to really.
Come in through you, that you can. Gain that clarity of, what it is that you want, what is meant for you and all that stuff. Because in this life, there’s so much. Opportunity, so much abundance. So how is it that you choose effectively, something that’s going to make sense for you.
A situation this year brought up a childhood wound that I thought I healed from
Pamela Bardhi: So that was another huge lesson and tied to that is this whole situation of impostor syndrome, right? I had a situation this year that brought up a childhood wound of mine that I never even knew existed and I thought I healed from. Now, anyone who’s listening, if you’re into self development and trauma work and all that stuff, I’m always all about that. And I thought I did the work, I thought I did the healing, but the inner child still came out. And there was a scenario where there was this genius, I want to call them.
I’m not even going to say she or he or whatever it is that went out and spread absolute bs, lies about me on a very public scale. And that was something that really not because of what was being said per se. because I knew all that was absolute bs and none of it was truthful. I had all the legal documentation and things to essentially prove that, hey, it’s not, this guy’s an absolute joke. Like, this is going absolutely nowhere and it’s going to get shut down immediately. Pam’s in the right, and has always been in the right in this particular scenario. The bs that was being spread about me earlier in the year, but.
What happened as a result of that. Was really the childhood wound that was triggered by that. That really set me off. When I was in middle school, I was bullied heavily in fifth and 6th grade. And a lot of people don’t know this. Some do know this. And that was something that really messed. With me as a person being in middle school.
And obviously that’s such an important part of your life, right? It’s you’re trying to figure out your identity when you’re a, teenager, preteen, it’s the weird years where you’re trying to figure out, who am I? What am I about? It’s just such a weird time in everybody’s life, right? But you take things very personally. And I remember that bullying. I thought I was over that, but very apparently I wasn’t because it brought me back to the same thing. When all this crap went out, it just felt like the same thing.
This wound was almost reinforced, which was like the worst feeling, and I had to heal through it, even though knowing all the stuff that was around me was absolute bs. And what was being said, again, it’s not what was being said, it’s this event of people talking negatively. That kind of thing really came back at me because it reminded me exactly of that right, of what I went through in middle school, and I had to heal myself through it and really tell myself, go through that whole imposter syndrome thing where it was just like, it shut me down at certain points, and it was just like, whoa, what the hell? I didn’t even think I was capable.
Of that level of vulnerability, personally. because I’ve always been very strong. But again, we’re always evolving. We’re always growing, and in order to get to the next level, you have.To learn these lessons, or else it’s never going to heal for you. Simply put, that’s just what it is.
I definitely learned that this past year, and it’s incredible. I mean, it was a few months of just, like, shutting out and feeling the feelings and emotions and all of that, and then just reminding myself of who I am and all the things and everything that I healed from and.
Really doing this inner work and this.Inner child work, if you will, and shadow work. I don’t know if you guys have ever heard of that, but it’s really incredible stuff that really brings all this stuff to the surface and heals those wounds in you that you never even knew that you had.
I think that’s the worst part. You won’t know that you need healing until you’re triggered, but are you actually aware of your triggers? That part is key. Are you aware when you’re even being triggered? Because that’s step one. Step two is like, where the hell. Did this come from? Step three is, okay, now that I know, and I know where it came.
From, now that I’m aware, and I know where it came from. Now, how do I heal that? Right? You got to allow yourself to go through the emotions and really process, reheal and reprogram your brain for positivity. When that trigger happens, to really reprogram that. So it’s a lot of work.
I mean, this is a lot of deep work that I’m talking about. It’s not easy when people talk about. Healing and talk about Bali, which I Freaking love, but you think about meditation and crossing your legs and really going and just chilling, and you’re like, on a mountaintop wearing crystals and shit. It’s just like that. When you think about healing, it’s like, wow, it’s yoga.
It’s all these beautiful things. I’m here to remind you that the healing process is not pretty. Not like 99% of the time, right. Often what happens is we repress a lot of our emotions, and then when.The time comes for a trigger to.
Happen, it surfaces, all of that. And then if we repress it. Repress it, then you’re essentially going to explode. But you’ve got to release those emotions in order to heal from that wound. And then you’ve got to reprogram your mind to remember that that trigger is.
Not something that’s going to kill you. Right. Because your brain is programmed to take. In any threat to protect you.
So when you’re hearing stuff in your mind about something, it’s because the mind is trying to protect you. That’s why you go into fight or flight mode and all of that stuff. So it’s just interesting how all of this was really tied in. and that was a huge lesson for me, and healing that I had to work through and really do the work from. And like I said, took me out a little bit, but it forced me into this position of growth, which really propelled me big time, I would say, q one was tough. And then from there, right after that. Is when I found out that I was pregnant with twin girls in early.
2023, which was insane. So at that time, I understood, like, hey, things have got to fall apart in order for, things to come together, right? You have to go through certain levels of growing in order to get to the next level. And it was insane when I found out that I was having twin babies. It just changed everything. It changed everything for me. Everything I’d been working towards, everything that I was focused on. I mean, literally everything.
It all made sense. It all made know, of course, spending. Most of the year waiting for these. Beautiful girls to arrive. I later found out they were girls.
Remember, whatever you’re going through, there’s a lesson there
We found out they were girls in, like, April, twin girls. And Alessia and Aria. just a whole lot of reflecting even back on that, I’m like, wow, from the concrete. Who knew that a rose would grow? Literally.
And in this case, it was two roses. Like, here I am going through some of my most challenging moments, however weird, that I was going through childhood wounds and created two daughters.
How insane is that, right? So remember, whatever you’re going through in your world and things feel like they’re hitting rock bottom or you’re really at a space of vulnerability or you’re really in a space of hurt, or just so many things could be going wrong in your life. Like, just remember that, from the.
Concrete, a rose can still grow, right? And whatever you’re going through, there’s a lesson there that needs to be learned, otherwise you wouldn’t be going through it. And what happens is, if you don’t.
Learn the lesson, you are going to repeat it.That’s going to turn into a pattern, and you’re going to keep falling into that pattern until you learn your lesson. That’s just the way that the universe works, right? Once you learn your lesson, okay, it’s.
Being pregnant and becoming a mom was huge highlights of this year
Pamela Bardhi: On to the next thing. Like I said, different levels, different devils, right? So very important. That’s a huge takeaway from this year. And then, of course, becoming a mom was like so many people, and it was crazy because I really didn’t announce it to the world. I announced it on bigger pockets when I was on that podcast, and that was so cool. I can’t wait for my daughters to see that one day and say that. And I’ll say, mom announced your pregnancy, her pregnancy of both of you on, the biggest real estate podcast in the world.
And so that was really cool and awaiting my girls. I mean, that was a whole nother thing. Of course, being pregnant, walking around, people are always asking, when are you due and what are you having? And blah, blah, blah, blah. And, I just can remember, like, twin girls, and people would tell me like, oh, my God, you’re ready for the best experience of your life and all these things. I was so excited to become a mom, and I remember there’s one person that.
Said to me, you get to experience life. You get to experience your childhood over again with them. That’s the best part of motherhood. And I was like, what? I didn’t really understand. And then there was people that would tell me, you’re never going to understand love until you’re holding your babies in your hand.
I was like, okay. And I could envision all this, and. I could kind of figure out what that was. And then, the moment happened and. I was like, they are so right. Everything they’ve said is absolutely 100,000% true. There is no dispute.
And I think the coolest thing in the world is watching them become their. Own people and fall into their own.
Personalities and really just like, it’s the coolest thing to realize you are the person that’s going to get to walk them through this life. They’re the ones that are going to teach you lessons and you’re going to teach them back. And, like that person said to me, you get to experience your childhood all over again with them. So now I’m like, all the things that I wanted to do as a kid, all the things I get to.
Now relive that with them, which I. Think is so beautiful. And any parent or parent to be who’s listening. This is what we get to look forward to. Instead, of course, there was a whole.
Lot of people are like, oh, my God, you’re not going to have a life. Oh, my God, you’re not going to do this and all that. And I just thought it was so negative. I was like, kids are supposed to be blessings. Like, why is everybody so like, oh, you’re not going to do this or you’re not going to do that. And for me, it was like looking at it from this perspective of getting to relive my childhood with them and having fun with them and having little built in best friends, that is the coolest thing in the entire planet.
And so that was a huge highlight of 2023, was becoming a mom, and that experience was incredible. But of course, I had a major surgery, so it was a C section. And so recovery time was a good eight to twelve weeks. So there was a whole lot of hardship with that, physically understanding what the mind and what the body could do. Within a couple of days, I was up and walking and everyone at the hospital was yelling at me. They’re like, pam, you need to hang, you need to chill out. It’s all good, don’t worry, don’t push it. But mentally, I was like, no, I can do this. The hard headed Pam, it’s exactly what I did, but just really cool. Just this year, it’s so interesting because it feels like it was like night.
And day between everything, everything, like the. Whole experience of what I went through starting the year and then what it ended as, has been absolutely magical. Throughout this year, I’ve had the privilege of building an even stronger team than I’ve ever had. And watching what my team has been doing, those around my real estate team, and just, they have been absolutely blowing my mind at the growth and the progress that they’ve had. I mean, at a time where real estate has been questioned, there’s thousands and thousands of investors, developers and agents leaving the industry. And here my team is just absolutely crushing it in their own right, and that has been the most magical thing to see.
Real estate is a lifestyle, not a career, Pam says
And one of my favorite stories was John Silva this year. I mean, this man, I remember when he started with, he was working full.
Time, two kids under five, and his. Wife was working as a schoolteacher, Lisa. And he told me his why before he started. And he’s like, pam, my why is that? I want my wife to be a stay-at-home mom.
And I want to control our time.Basically, our time freedom, and have time for the family and not have to worry about corporate or anything like that. I was like, okay, that’s a solid why? Because if you think, and this goes for anybody listening, if you think that.
Real estate is a get rich quick. Industry, I honestly advise you to not look any deeper. It’s probably not the right move for you. But that’s not to say you can’t invest in it or there’s other ways that you can participate in it. It’s just if you are thinking about.
It as an actual career, it may. Not be the right thing, because it really is a lifestyle, it really is a long term thing, and there is a lot involved with it. And if you’re not passionate about it, you’re going to burn out really quickly, or if you don’t have a deep enough. Why?
If you love people and relationships, you’ll. Be incredible in real estate, right. or used to sales and that kind of thing. But John’s why was making sure that.
His wife becomes a stay at home mom and this man in the shittiest market of all humanity. Well, I can’t say that I take that back, because 2008, I heard, was pretty bad. But in these days, right, with high interest rates and so many people leaving the industry and stuff, he was still.
Able to be so successful in real. Estate in his first year that he. Was able to retire his wife after less than a year of being in real estate.
And he was on my team, he took the blueprint, ran with it, did the work, grind it out, and here he is, and now he’s out there inspiring people on his own and bringing in people and helping change their lives, which is the coolest thing in the entire world. So again, from the concrete, who knew that a rose would grow, right? Despite all the craziness that the year started with, it turned out so beautiful between my daughters, between my team growing and all of that.
The company will launch in 2024 and has the potential to transcend the real estate industry
Pamela Bardhi: And, what’s next is really what’s blowing my mind. I think the absolute most I’ve been able to take the time to have that clarity and meet the right partners to create a company that’s going to.
Have the potential to transcend the real estate industry. From the construction perspective and from the consumer perspective. I mean, this company is a culmination.
Of, literally, my love for a small business, my love for development, my love for construction, my love for real estate, of course, my love for people, my love for creative thinking and imagination. I mean, literally everything I’ve ever worked for and worked on to this point now makes sense because it’s all culminated in this one project that I have launching in 2024. And that is something that I cannot. Wait to launch to the world. because It’S going to help homeowners, existing homeowners.
Elevate in their own right and increase.Their property values in ways they never imagined, through accessory dwelling units and backyard. Offices that are easily installable, and next.
To that, having affordable housing opportunities because of the way that these are built, that’s also going to open up another. You know, for those who don’t know.
My story, I came to the US with absolutely nothing with my parents when I was about five years old. So I’ve watched my parents build from the ground up. So being in the lower, in poverty to the middle, always, that’s been my entire life.
That’s the whole underdog story. So I can’t wait to be able to walk people through that process, because, again, most people’s wealth, over 70% of wealth in the United States of America, comes from the family’s single family home or whatever real estate that they own, which is insane. That’s incredible.
And that’s something to be said for that. So I’m just so excited to launch this culmination of everything for 2024. And it’s going to be something that people will absolutely love, and it’s, going to transform the small business landscape from a real estate perspective. It’s just so much. There’s so much coming. I’m so excited. It’s incredible.
As you reflect on 2023, take time to spend with your family
Now, when you’re going through things, you. Don’t realize why you’re going through them for the time being. But as you reflect and you look back, it all makes sense. And that is literally, quite literally, exactly what happened here. The same exact thing. Now I get why I went through everything that I went through in order to get to this space by the. End of the year.
So if you’re going through something, you’re struggling through something, or reflecting back on 2023, look at all the lessons that were there for you, or if there was a pattern that you didn’t learn from, what is that trying to tell you and see how it all connects together? Because for me now, going back onto this reflection point, I now understand why I had to go through all that I went through in order to get to the space that I’m at by the end of the year. And it all makes sense. So, this is the year that from a concrete, a flower grew. Multiple flowers. And I hope that as you reflect back on 2023, you start to see the dots connect and that you start. To see what your foundation is going.
Pamela Bardhi: To look like for 2024, or what’s going to continue, or what’s not going to continue. Take this time to really reflect and ask yourself, like, did it serve me well or did it not? As you kind of think about what’s happening in 2023, most importantly, spend that incredible time with your family.
That time is the greatest gift. That’s why they call it a present, right?
That’s why they call the present a present, because time is a gift. So as you go through this holiday season, I send you and your family so much love, so much blessings, clarity, reflection, for more growth for the future. Thank you so, so much for listening. I appreciate all of you. And as always, don’t hesitate to reach out. I would love to help anyone who is down for it. So just reach out. Send me a dm. I’m all over LinkedIn and Instagram. All that good stuff, and if you heard this podcast and resonated with it, I’d love to hear from you and just, I’m praying for you and your family to have an incredible 2024. And so it is.
So that’s it for today’s episode of Underdog. Catch us next week. Always dropping on Thursdays. And remember, if you’re interested in real estate or want to learn how to create more money and magic in your life, check out meetwithpamla dot and let’s chat. Sending you so, so much love.
Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my personal stories and heartfelt recollections. If you found this story worth your time and made changes in your life, we’d love to hear from you! Subscribe and leave a review. The Underdog Podcast host is none other than Pamela Bardhi. She’s rocking the Real Estate Realm and has dedicated her life as a Life Coach. She is also Forbes Real Estate Council. To know more about Pam, check out the following:
If you’re interested in elevating your life 10x, and owning your power, Pamela invites you to join her for a 15-minute call to set your goals straight and get clarity. Start building your game plan now: meetwithpamela.com