Asia & Jareed

Done with Adulting is a weekly podcast that will provide the relief you need from life’s biggest pressure. Boston-based best friends, Asia Ewing and Jareed Gaines attempt to break down the societal expectations of “adulting” and examine the effects across different generations with topics from education, careers, and finances to friendships, marriage, social media pressures, and more.

Asia works a full-time job in a nonprofit, while also running an online beauty business & helping others do the same! Her educational background is in social work, and she’s always been motivated by connections and helping others.

Jareed is also Boston-based. In addition to co-hosting, he is also our talent coordinator, social media manager, and content advisor.

Find out more about Asia, Jareed, and DWA here:

Website: https://www.donewithadulting.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/donewithadultingpod/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/donewthadulting

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/done-with-adulting/id1478761314

Click To Read The Transcript

Asia & Jareed Share Their Insightful Stories and Mission of Shattering Societal Expectations of “Adulting.”

Pamela Bardhi
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of underdog. Today I am honored beyond honored, to have two of the most amazing people on this earth. Here with me and my good friends from college. Asia and Jareed. They are outstanding. What’s going on you guys? How are you doing?

Asia
Hi. Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I’m on the underdog podcast. First of all, these are goals. All right.

Jareed
We’re usually the ones, I guess interviewing somebody for our podcast. Roles have changed.

Pamela Bardhi
And anyone who doesn’t know is listening right now to an adult podcast about these two amazing individuals that you got right here.

Jareed
You were there once?

Pamela Bardhi
Yes, I was just about to say. I’ve had the honor and the pleasure of being on it. It is so much fun. I love you guys’ energy. It’s so much fun and amazing. Always have since college. So it was crazy.

Jareed
I think that’s what it’s been a year already. Cuz it was pretty COVID.

Asia
Yeah, I think it was November 2019 that you’re on the podcast, which hopefully we’ve gotten a lot better. Since then we need to have you back a second. Second time because things have changed. We’ve improved. the sound quality is better. Well, we were in the studio with you. But anyways, yes. All the things.

Pamela Bardhi
It’s all good. You’re amazing. You know podcasting always has its specifications. But the number one thing is the content and the energy. And you guys bring both, so you got that? So many questions.

Asia
I know the common denominator here.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah. And that was crazy, too. Isn’t it? So weird how our entire life went virtual? And there’s blessings and curses. But it’s like being at these virtual events. Like they’re great.

Jareed
The real feel of it.

Asia
You have to bring so much extra energy, like energy times 10. And then by the end, you’re just like, wiped out. I feel like.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, and you’re in your own house. And then you’re like, I don’t really feel the same. But now back to you guys, because you guys are outstanding. This is the most loaded question that I asked and we’ll go whoever wants to answer first, okay. Like what inspired you on the journey to where you are today?

Asia
That is a loaded question.

Jareed
In life in general or in the rest of the podcast?

Pamela Bardhi
Ever, your energy flows? I’m gonna let you answer, however, whatever.

Asia
Okay, I think for me, I feel like I’m in a really exciting time in my life. Like, I feel like in the past year and a half and maybe that’s due to COVID. I have really just been able to have the space and time to tap into creativity and try new things and start new things. And I felt like before COVID we were all in our routines, right? Like, doing the same thing every day, going to work, coming home, whatever we do. And now I don’t know if it’s the fact that I work from home, so I have more time or what it is. But I feel more open and able to come up with new things and creative ideas and go down that path to see what will come of it.

And I feel like that’s kind of what happened with the podcast. Even though we started pre-pandemic, I felt the pandemic. We really like to hunker down and we’re like, Alright, like, let’s see where we can take this thing and how far we can take it. Yeah, we kind of started and we were like, oh, we’ll just see if we can get one episode onto the internet. When you satisfy guests or like if I can upload one friggin episode, it’s a win. So yeah, I feel like going forward. The next couple years are going to be really just transformative in a way that I definitely wouldn’t have predicted pre-pandemic. So, I don’t know, that’s just me. Was that deep enough? That was hard.

Jareed
Can you repeat the question? One more time to think.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely. So like what inspired you on your journey to where you are today?

Asia
I didn’t answer the question at all, but you want to take it.

Jareed
inspiration for me, I’m gonna say my mom and family. I guess I will make a big move. I’m trying to get towards a certain financial goal. So I can always give back to my family. I feel like that ever since college and meeting people up in Massachusetts. Ever since I’m originally from Jersey, ever since moving up to Massachusetts. I’ve just seen more opportunities than ever since Massachusetts, I’ve just met great people, I’ve definitely found just opportunities. That I wouldn’t have found back home and I think that’s allowing me to grow. And hopefully, one day reach my financial goal, which, with reaching my financial goal, I can give back to my family and just kind of have.

I don’t wanna say generational wealth, but, you know, started at least. Or make sure that my family is good and I’m financially good. If anybody ever needs anything, then I got him, I don’t need it back. You know what I mean? So that’s definitely a big inspiration for me. And in regards to the pod, I mean, we’re hoping one day we can. We can take this to a point where we won’t have to work for somebody else, you know what I mean? And we can just do what we love, which is the pod, and make boatloads of money from there and then grow from there. I mean, so for me, that’s where the inspiration comes.

Pamela Bardhi
I love it. Your energies are so incredible. For now, I always ask this question. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Asia
Oh, my gosh, you know, what’s so funny is I was doing this mentorship program with Stone Hill a couple months ago. And it was for alumni of color mentoring students of color was like a new initiative. They were trying to do it and so I got these two mentees and I asked them the same question. And I was like, you know, I just feel like we all get asked that question at some point, like, what did you want to be? What do you want to be like, especially when we were in college? They were like, what do you want to be? So I asked him this question and one of my mentees responded and was like, well. I asked them what their dream job was and she was like. Why don’t you really dream of working?

And I was like, facts like that. We’ve seen that popping up a lot recently. Yeah. Do you have that? So it’s so funny. Now, whenever I hear somebody ask me that question, I think of her but um, that’s a true answer, though. Yeah, it is a true answer. Like, truthfully, when I was growing up, like, I played basketball. And then I obviously played basketball and so now for those who don’t know and so for a long time, like. That was my life, like, I never really, as a kid was sitting around thinking, like, what do I want to do? Because I was so preoccupied with life, like basketball. And so when that season in my life ended, post-college, I coached for one year, just to see if I liked it and I hated it.

But after that sort of season of my life ended, I was kind of like, what the heck am I supposed to do now? Like, I was really just, at that time getting acquainted with that question of like, what do you want to do? And sometimes I still don’t know if I know the answer. I know that I want to inspire people and help people, I know that I love podcasting. Currently, I work in the nonprofit space, which is another way I’m able to provide and give back to others, which I love. And yeah that’s kind of the path I’m on right now. But, you know, everything that I’ve I’m doing right now is sort of stumbled into. I’m trying to continue that kind of just like go with the flow and see where I guess the friggin wind takes me. I don’t know.

Jareed
Yeah, I feel like life is crazy. So many different paths. Yeah and like, growing up, I always thought, kind of like, it was like one linear path. But as you get older and see things and see other people like the moves they make. You realize that it’s just all over the place. And then you finally get to, I mean, hopefully where you want to be, but it could take a while to get there. Yeah.

Asia
What’s your dream job? Or what did you do when you grew up to be a football player?

Jareed
Of course. So he stated, I don’t dream like now I’m at the I don’t dream of a revenue word. But since you asked me to answer, but uh, yeah. I played football, my whole life I played in college if they wanted to play in the NFL. So that would have been my dream job. Outside of that, I also wanted to be either like a CSI agent. Like a crime scene investigator, I used to love the show CSI. Yeah, I had to think about this, because I was like, wait, what is it or an FBI agent?

I just feel like that’s so interesting. But like, also to your question. Like growing up, I always heard people say or ask other people, older people. What they want to be when they grew up. And to me in my mind, I’m like, all these people are old. They should have that answer already. But now as I’m getting older, I don’t even know. At this point, I guess it’s ever-changing.

Asia
I know that I can’t work for somebody, I know that at some point, I have to transition into a full-time entrepreneur. Right now is sort of like the side hustle phase. That’s the only thing I know for sure, though, right now.

Jareed
That I don’t want to work for anybody else. I don’t want to have to wait for Friday to come like that. The only thing on my mind right now is getting to a place. Where I can take my entrepreneurial stuff, full time. And I feel like once, that comes it actually slows life down. Because I mean, people who have the regular nine to five, they’re just always looking for Friday on the weekend.

So when you’re always doing that, like time just passes you by. Because you’re not actually living in the moment. You’re just waiting to get to the weekend or things like that. Or some other type of event that you have come in. But hopefully, once you hit that, it could slow life down a little bit. And you live in the moment and I’m saying you personally like us?

Pamela Bardhi
Amazing. I mean, there’s just like, you know, what’s crazy is like, there’s so many connections. So what do we want to be, when we’re young that reflect on us as we get older, which is so cool, like. He wanted to help people, right? And like, look at where you are now. That is exactly what you’re doing to read this the same thing with you. Like, you played football, you did all these things. Look at where you’re at now, like it always translates somehow, which I think is so cool.

And we’re always transitioning and evolving. Like, that’s the thing. Yeah. learn that. It’s like for even like, for me, it’s like Jesus got, you know like. Going from restaurants to real estate and then, real estate is now kind of shifting into the empowerment world. And like this world, I guess, like influencer space like stuff like that. We’re just when you think you have it figured out life is like, oh, you’re comfortable.

Jareed
Like, I know that I know, you were in commercial real estate. So how has that changed with COVID? Since I guess, people are not having as much real estate in regards to office space. Or people are working from home and things like that.

Pamela Bardhi
Honestly, it’s transitioned to commercial real estate big time. And it’s going to affect all the future plans in commercial real estate. Because what’s happening now, if you walk through a mall. You’re gonna see a lot of empty storefronts. You even just drive down Boylston Street, which I was at the other day, like a lot of empty storefronts. And it’s like, what are these people going to do? Right? No longer and the same thing is gonna happen in the office, not just retail. There’s going to be smaller footprints of commercial spaces.

And there’s going to be gotta be a new creation, like, even now. Like new ideas are coming about like, called Cloud kitchens. Somebody basically rents out somebody’s kitchen, like, say a restaurant has their own, like, you know. Obviously, they have their own kitchens, their own stuff, right? Then they’re having these new things, called ghost kitchens. Where somebody comes in and rents that kitchen. When it’s not being used and does their own thing with it. And Mary does, it’s like a win-win situation for both sides, right?

Because that restaurant now has more money coming in. So they can pay the massive rent and then, that person has low startup costs. Because they don’t have to build out a whole kitchen. Right? All these creative, innovative things are coming out, you know, and like in retail. It’s going to be smaller stores because they don’t need that entire retail footprint. Like department stores are definitely going to change. They’re going to be subleasing. Probably within it, they’ll see much smaller, like micro-stores.

Jareed
Department stores have been going out of business for the past decade already anyway.

Pamela Bardhi
Well, because before they used to be the middle, the middleman now. People can go directly to the source. Why are they going to go to the department store for one?

Asia
You know, slide the hangers down the thing, some people like that tactical shopping experience, so you know.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, so it’s like, but those will still exist. It’s not to say it’s gonna be completely out. But it’s just gonna be so much smaller. That’s what it’s gonna be, it’s gonna be a much smaller footprint. So it’s gonna be interesting to see how real estate transforms. Especially in the commercial world in the next few years, but even residential is changing. I mean, you know, there’s like, all these new communities being built.

There’s like co-living spaces coming on, like, all kinds of different things that are coming out. So I’m excited for that future. For sure. That’s awesome and for you guys, as you both have had interesting trajectories in your life. So like, who has been? Dude, you know, you mentioned your mom a little bit. That’s like a big influential figure in your life to Asia, who’s been one of the biggest influences in your life.

Asia
I think, definitely my mom, still, her and are very close, she grew up poor and then. You know, got herself to a place where she was able to just be the provider of our family. Even when I was younger, she served in that role. So definitely a role model for me. My dad was sort of another role model and it’s weird. Because my dad passed when I was 19. And I just feel like life before, like 22 is like, I don’t even know it’s like a blur or something. But obviously, when we’re younger, right? We take advantage of relationships that we know. You expect you don’t expect that you’re going to lose people, especially that young.

So a lot of lessons that I’m learning from him are sort of coming up now like 10 years later. And I’m like drawing the line back to like, Oh, that’s what he meant by that and stuff like that. Which is a weird experience to go through and just a larger part of, you know. People who I know probably experienced this same thing. Who are grieving somebody, but it’s weird. Because it’s like as you change phases in life, right. Even people that you lost whether it was five years ago, 10 years ago, or 20 years ago. Still somehow like, remain have that influence even though you don’t know. Them necessarily as an adult or in the space that you are now.

So I would definitely say both my parents have a huge influence on me. And I will say that I’m definitely don’t know, my family makes fun of me. Because against the grain like I did. I don’t know if it’s like a generational thing. We talked about this on our podcast, but you know, they were brought up to believe like. You find a job and you stick at that job for as long as possible and never lose it and then retire, like. That’s how they were programmed and that’s how we were brought up believing too.

And so now that I’m starting to see like, that’s not the only way you can be an entrepreneur. You don’t have to be a billionaire to be a successful entrepreneur. Or you can live a happy life and do your passions and make money from them. I get comfortable financially. Yeah, I get teased a lot for that. Because I don’t know, I just have visions and see things. This is what I’m going to do. And everyone’s like, okay, you’re crazy. But yeah, I mean, I would say, I wouldn’t have the confidence to do any of these projects. If it weren’t for obviously, my parents and how they raised me. So yeah, I would definitely say both of them.

Jareed
Yeah. And you got to think about it, too. Like we’re talking about black America, black Americans who grew up in the 60, 70s. I don’t say 60s, but they were the 70s and 80s. Yeah, so I mean, that was a different time back then. So then having a job working full time and then retiring, like, that’s a win for them. For us nowadays, we don’t want to do that we want to do more. That’s not looked at as a win for us just to have a regular nine to five and just being able to retire. So, yeah, like you said, the trajectory, I think it’s just it’s changing a little bit with generations.

Pamela Bardhi
I completely agree with you. And I think that a lot of the reason why is technology has enabled us to sort of live a different type of life. You no longer to be an entrepreneur, you don’t have to have a brick and mortar space. Things electronically, like this podcast or for example, without technology. We wouldn’t be able to do this, like, just the radio station. And if you don’t have connections to the radio station, you’re not going to create your own. So like, that’s it right. But like now, I think technology has created a whole new avenue for people to start businesses. You know, pursue their dreams and different things.

And I think that ties into a lot of it. Because Yeah, I mean our parents, that’s what they grew up with, you know, you get a job. That’s just what it is, I mean, then you follow the system. But that’s the American dream. It’s the American dream, right? And then you know, you retire and you have your pension. Okay, all these things, you know. Now in our generation, we’re starting to learn that system is a bit broken. Right and that’s the crazy part.

Asia
I think about like, I don’t know, this is gonna sound so dramatic. But sometimes I really think about, having to work for the next 35 years straight. Before I can like, think about retiring, do whatever it is, I want to do that. Thought alone lights a fire in the pit of my stomach to be like, yeah, this is what life is like, I need to figure out another way.

Pamela Bardhi
Right? No, absolutely. And I mean, that’s the whole thing, right? Like, for me, I grew up in the entrepreneurial space. So like, I never had a corporate job. I’ve done internships. I hated them. It’s just not my thing. Because I’ve been exposed to it since I was about 10. But that’s what I grew up in, right, that’s what I knew. But now we’re entering a whole new era. And like, the thing that really hit me was like, so it was my junior year at Stonehill. Right up until my junior year, spring semester, I still thought I was going to work a job after I graduated.

It wasn’t always like this for me, I was gonna start my own business and do my own thing. I had an internship at one of the most prestigious sports venues in Boston. And my envision was like, Okay, my spring semester is going to be there. I’m going to build the network, I’m gonna build the connections, but I want to work there. After I graduated my senior year, I had an internship there and hated it. Went in for my final grade and my supervisor told me she’s like. Oh, Pam, she gave me a b minus because I was too ambitious.

She was like, You were too ambitious, I was like and I remember walking out of that building first. I was filled with rage and anger and then like. As I’m walking towards the doors to go outside, a voice inside my head was like. Pamela you’re meant to do bigger things. And I remember calling my mom and being like, Mom, I’m just letting you and dad know right now. Making it clear like very very clear. Just hear me okay. I’m not working for anybody when I graduate I’m gonna start a business.

I don’t know what the hell it is. But it’s gonna be something and that’s summer that Oh. They thought it was not said, they were so mad at me forever. And then they calm down, but that summer I went to Europe because I was trying to get inspiration like, What do I do? That’s where I got my inspiration for my cafe. But I remember being like this young, I was like, I think it was like 19 at the time. Yeah, it was 19. You know, I’m going to all these touristy places and doing what I want and then, I’m seeing these older people in their 70s on these tours.

And I remember, like talking to one of them. They were American and they’re like, yeah, we just retired. So we came here. What and I was like, 70 now. Here’s the thing that really bugged me about that. It really woke my ass up. I was like, hold on, I was like, they just live their whole life. And meanwhile, they’re in there in the heat. They’re sitting down like they’re not enjoying it, right? Like their seven-year-old and I’m like, I’m not gonna wait till I’m 70 to enjoy my life. What there’s got to be a better way

Jareed
78 years old. So, years, so enjoy life after that.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah. 78. So they retired early. Oh, perceive, oh, like how the system is broken.

Jareed
That’s why we’re changing, that’s why we’re doing different things. And hopefully, we won’t have to work until we’re 6570. We can enjoy life before them.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, I mean, I call our generation the side hustle generation.

Asia
Yeah, for sure and I think we talked about that on our podcast, too. And just in terms of like, just becoming aware, like how you said. That was sort of your awakening moment when you saw this couple, like. Sweating their friggin brains out when they’re 70 years old. Like when you’ve had that awakening moment when you’re finally like. Wait, is this what I’m about to do for the next 35 years? It’s like, it’s very powerful. But it can also be really scary.

Because, you know, if I was going to try something else. What would it be? Where do I start? Who’s gonna support me? How much do I have to invest into it and I think that unfortunately. Fear holds a lot of people back from making that shift. Or that change or that pivot in their life, which is unfortunate. Because the best things are like on the other side of fear. And so, I don’t know, we’ve been talking about that a lot recently on dealing with adulting.

And just this sort of framework we were brought up to believe in. Then now we’re doing it and most of the people, that we went to school with where hitting our early 30s, like. Things are getting real and you’re kind of like, Is this it? Like, is this what I’m doing? And so, I don’t know, I just feel there’s a lot of just fear and like failure that holds people back from doing certain things would be scared. Yeah, I wish scared money wouldn’t make any money.

Pamela Bardhi
That goes back to my quote, regret is far worse than fear. Like, you really want to look back and be like, Huh. I wish I started the dough with adulting podcasts, like hell no, right. Like, if you guys didn’t just go for it.

Asia
I know and the reality of it is some days are. And I think that’s what people don’t talk about the reality of it. Some days you’re like, EFF this. Like, what am I doing? I could stop this right now. And nobody would care, you know what I mean? Those things cross your mind because motivation isn’t always there. Unfortunately, I feel like any entrepreneurial path is about discipline. Because you’re not going to be motivated every day.

So that’s the hardest thing I feel. Is trying to find the discipline to just stay on top of our stuff in whatever. It’s a journey, for sure. But it’s making us into better people. I feel like, I don’t know if Jareed feels the same way. But I don’t know, I feel different today than I did before we started the podcast.

Jareed
Yeah. And I mean, every time we go into it, it’s like, it kind of feels like we always say this, it feels like therapy a little bit. You just talk on the mic and just start talking about whatever’s happened in your life. So yeah, it can be looked at as some form of therapy,

Asia
for sure. I think any creative outlet is a form of therapy.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, oh my God. Amen to that and let’s touch on that. Because that’s the whole reason, why I started this podcast, is because I saw so many people. Like disconnected to reality, because you’re getting the social media version of it and nobody and like, even for myself. I’m guilty of this, right? Like, I grew up thinking like vulnerability is a weakness. So I was trained like, Nah, you don’t show emotion. You keep hustling, you keep going like blinders on. Whatever. Oh, you’re having issues? Don’t talk about it, I mean, it’s toxic, right? Like, at the end of the day, it’s toxic.

Because if you’re not releasing that. Then why people end up with some types of addictions, because where are you supposed to release all this? And then nobody’s talking about it? Like, what’s the disconnect? You just mentioned it beautifully right here and now it’s like. Nobody talks about this stuff, I have my days like yesterday. We had to reschedule this because I was on a site deal. With some craziness, I didn’t get home until 11 pm 1130 and I’m sitting there. I had to carry like two by four by 10s. Which are long pieces of wood 60 pieces onto my job sites.

And I’m just at them today, there’s days where you’re just like. What is going on? Then you just got to be your own cheerleader and keep yourself going. And like, the key is how do you keep yourself going on days like this? Because they happen even to the people, that you don’t think they happen to? Yes, of course, they do. So like, during those moments where you’re just like, Nah. How have you guys found yourselves kind of moving past that? Whether it’s business or personal or whatever, like, what’s your best steps to kind of get out of that funk? Because, man, it happens and it’s does.

Jareed
For me, I always look at the worst-case scenario, something could be worse. Yeah, Jareed, it could be worse, so I always look at politics. I’m like, I really don’t feel, I really don’t want to, like, do this right now. But there’s people who would love to be in the position that I am. And would love to be doing what I’m doing. So I kind of think of those individuals.

And that kind of motivates me. I’m thinking like, if I don’t want to let’s just, for example, work out. There’s people who can’t walk right now, there’s people who are sick, who are laying in bed, who might be on their last breath. They would love to just get up and go for a walk, go workout something like that. So things like that motivate me. I just think to myself, it always could be worse, always could be in the worst situation. So that’s kind of how I get myself out of a little funk.

Asia
Jared is better at that dream. But no he does. He actually has really great self-talk and I feel like that’s. I mean, we definitely bounce off each other in terms of the podcast, like. There are days when I like Jareed kind of knows at this point, like called texted me, I don’t even know like. Talk me off the ledge because I’m about to lose it and he’s like, relax, it’s not that deep. So definitely, like utilizing each other. And I think for me, I’m not as great as that sort of self-talk and getting gratitude. I feel like that’s kind of what Jared was getting towards, like just being grateful to have the ability to do these things. It’s something I’m working on.

I’m super grateful for obviously, everything that I haven’t been working on. But for me, the best thing that motivates me is the community and the fact that we do this together. And I have someone to go to that’s like bugging me right now. Or like I’m sure, I need to be picked up. And I feel like, I can’t emphasize that enough. I definitely have built communities, even if they’re online. That’s another great thing about the online world is you can build these communities of other people, who are doing the same thing as you on your worst day, Pam. When you’re like carrying two by four by 10s.

If you have, I’m sure you do have community or mentor people who have been through that exact same thing. Can you believe this? That I just had to do and it makes you feel better that you’re not alone in doing it. So I would just recommend that for sure. Like a community, I literally have them in every little podcast community online. In my online business, I have a community in my nonprofit world. I have a mentor and a little community. So it’s just something that I’ve always found is so helpful and the worst and hardest days. Because someone else has probably can relate and has been through it and can pick you back up.

Jareed
Into that in regards to the pod. Like, there’s definitely been times when we don’t want to record or even though. Or there might be times, we literally physically can’t record. So we might not drop an episode and I think this happened once. We didn’t drop an episode and then we actually put it on Instagram. And we actually got a DM and people, no episode this week. They could just be saying that because they’re our friends. But to me that actually kind of hits me and I’m like, as little as I might think, somebody else it could mean a little bit more.

So just thinking about I don’t wanna say the fans, but I guess our writer dies. Yeah, the community he’s just like, she was saying also to the original question, about when you’re in a funk. I think at times, it is okay to just allow that funk to take over. And for you to take a step back and to take a break. Because if you’re always talking to yourself or self-motivating yourself. Or talking yourself up to do something, that you don’t even. Have the energy to do that could hurt you, because you’re putting all you’re putting your 100% into it. So I mean at times, I do think it is okay to take that step back and allow. Whatever’s may put you on a funk to just allow you to take some time off and get your mental, right.

Asia
Yeah, just rest I’ve been trying to do that lately to just listen to my intuition. And most days you have to you know, if you don’t feel like it, you do have to push past. But some days if you’re just like this is not gonna happen today. Like you just have to be okay with that. It’s not the end of the world. Rest and get ready for the next day to bounce back even stronger. So I’m trying to do that more and just work based on my intuition. My energy’s really high, like, get as much done as I can. And then if my energy is low, like, still get some stuff done, but like. Don’t overdo it. So yeah, just stuff like that. I feel like.

Pamela Bardhi
Absolutely, I was interviewing someone the other day. And she was like, Whoa, bam, she’s like, there’s different cars out there. Right? I was like, yeah, so what is Supergirl? What are supercars? Like, what kind of gas do they take? And I was like, pretty sure it’s premium and she’s like, premium cars, the premium gas and does a car run at all. If there’s no gas, I was like. That’s exactly right. Pam, she’s like, you need to make sure that your gas tank is full, you are going nowhere. What a simple metaphor. seriously, just go go, go and we don’t stop for gas.

Jareed
Yeah, we’ve been conditioned to think that’s how life works. And that’s how you reach your goals. But I mean, there’s a smarter way to do things and work smarter versus work hard.

Pamela Bardhi
That’s right. Like, I always say I’m working and being productive are two different things. Good work 15 hours a day, but like, what are you getting? And that’s like, the crazy part. That’s the crazy part and like also to I mean. So like this COVID world is sort of brought on like all this new transformation. I feel like this whole new, like level of self-reflection, because it kind of took the world and shook it. Alright, you’re not going to be dropping people.

Yeah, I’m interested to know, how did that affect you guys? Did you guys have any pivotal moments throughout the COVID? Or any realizations or you know what I mean? Like, cuz I feel like so many people have gone through so much self-reflection. And I see so many people pivoting right now, which is so interesting.

Jareed
So I think like, a little while no one called the middle. Because I don’t even know if we’re close to the end of this or quarantine, whatever. But at some point in the middle of this outage, really not that motivated, with work with really anything. I’m just like, this is where this is different. Like we’re just in the house all the time. Working from home, like gems or clothes can go work out. You’re doing literally everything from this little small, unknown, this small area. And after a while, I’m just like, I’m getting tired of this, like I need, I need an outlet. I don’t even know how I got myself out of it.

Honestly, there’s some days where I still feel kind of not motivated, but I guess I’m working my way out of it. But that was a realization that I realized, I’m laying on the couch at 3 pm, which I still should be working and I feel tired. If I might, I wouldn’t do anything. Yeah, I could have been, more productive throughout this day. But I’m just not motivated to do it. And I don’t know, I’m still going through that process, I think a little bit. But it also could be like seasonal depression. I don’t wanna say depression, but like, the seasons up here, it’s always cold. So that could have played a part in it, but that was just like a realization that I had during COVID.

Asia
I definitely went through some of that during COVID. But I think overwhelmingly, I really, I don’t know, I feel like I grew a lot during COVID, right. In the beginning of the pandemic, I started my little online business, through a network marketing company. That was kind of like, came out of nowhere on a whim, but I had time on my hands. So I was like, oh, I’ll give this a try and ended up really loving it and Nick connecting to the community back to my point. And within that community, I was able to learn a lot more about personal development. Really dove into that throughout COVID and we even saw that in our podcast, too.

We took some courses and really just fed our minds the best that we could or at least I did. And I think that was the biggest change for me because I wasn’t. I mean, pre COVID I was commuting four hours a day and there were really long days. So there wasn’t really a lot of time for growth and whatever. Like, I was just like coming home shower, go to bed. Yeah, there were teens, so that was a huge change for me. And then also, I think that another huge change was just my current full-time job. I just actually left and start my new job next week.

But COVID kind of brought to light just some things that I decided, like. Were outside of my personal values, now’s the time where I need to prioritize my personal values and not just like because this is a job. Which was hard to do because it was like. I should just be grateful, I should have a job in COVID. So that was like a really big struggle. But I don’t know, I definitely grew from that and have a new job, thank God, but it was just like it was a lot.

There was a lot of change in a lot going on. And like Jared said it was all going on, like in the four same walls of your house to drive yourself crazy. Yeah, you can, I mean, I think overall, I came out on the other side of COVID. Hopefully, whenever COVID over just more connected with who I am. And what I want to do and what my five-year goals are and those types of things. So I guess it’s like a blessing and a curse in some ways.

Jareed
I mean, COVID told you that, I mean. People are Life is short, you know. Life is short and just anything can happen at any moment. Naturally, the whole world could just change. Like, I think though, the way of life in the US could be changed forever because it’s like, you hate mass. Now, I think mass is gonna be a thing in the future, even when COVID is gone. So

Asia
I’m wearing my mask. Yeah. So I mean, I love masks. I’m like, I can’t believe I like all these people breathing in me.

Jareed
Like with COVID. We talked about this on the pod too. It’s like, you start realizing that we were nasty, nasty culture. We were doing things. They started doing things after COVID, that they should have been doing on your hands. Yeah, sanitizing people start washing their hands. Do is use a bathroom and just leave and we’re in the middle of a pandemic and you’re still not washing your hands. Like

Pamela Bardhi
it’s, it’s wild to me, because it’s like, I look at these things like, please wash your hands. Why do we have to be reminded of the sign? Yeah. Do it for me, like the masks are tough because I have asthma. I can’t breathe in them. So I have the hardest time. But like, obviously, I understand, you know, what we need to do it’s just been crazy because I’ve gotten mixed things. And I have people telling me like, Oh, it’s both or you know, like. All these different things like with COVID and just so many transitions. But for the first time, the world has kind of been pulled apart, forced to pause.

Asia
Yeah. And I think that showed up and manifested in a lot of ways. Like, obviously with the Black Lives Matter movement and just things that popped off. That I feel like, wouldn’t have popped off if people weren’t at home. So because we were actually started realizing what black people were going through in America for some reason. Everything happens for a reason.

Jareed
Like, I mean, the pollution levels dropped while everybody was home. But just different things like that.

What Would Their Older Self Tell Their Younger Self 

Pamela Bardhi
Oh, there’s so many positives with it, too, and then, there’s of course. The negative is that with any kind of shift, there’s always both sides. And like you know, through your life experiences and everything that you guys have really been through, like. What would be the one thing that your older self would tell your younger self, based on what you know, now? And it can be anything, whatever comes to mind,

Asia
I would tell my younger self to just chill out, I feel like when we were younger. Especially coming out of college, there’s just even going into College, like kids that are applying to college. Like there’s just all this pressure around college and having a plan. And what you’re going to do and obviously in our country, College is a good leg up. But we’re seeing now, especially with the internet, it’s not the only way. So I think I would just tell my younger self to just relax and enjoy life. While your body doesn’t ache every day for no reason. And like, just have fun.

Because once you get closer and closer you get to like your 30s and 40s. Life certainly isn’t over. But things change drastically more than they would. When you’re in your 20s like a young 20s commodity, it’s the dream, you have more responsibility. Yes, it’s just like, I would just tell my younger self to live like your life to the fullest. Enjoy life being single, I would tell my younger self that and just get to know yourself. Better before you make any major decisions.

And also, my last thing is like, if you make a decision right now. It’s not like the last time or like the end all be all. Like, I feel like when I was younger, I had such a hard time with decision-making. Because I would always be like this. What if I make the wrong decision and screw my whole life up? Like, life just isn’t like that, like most of the time and you can always come up. Pick yourself back up from whatever bad quote-unquote decision you made.

Jareed
Yeah, I mean, I would agree on that. I would say, Tell my younger self, it’s okay to fail. Because you learn from those experiences. But I also would tell myself, do the things that you want to do? And don’t worry about what other people think of you? Mm-hmm. Definitely, a lot of people make decisions based on what they think other individuals will think of them. But I mean, as you grow older and at the end of the day, you realize that. That doesn’t matter.

Asia
You know what I read the other day too, that was so interesting. It was like, I forget where it’s hot. But I was reading something and they were talking about that. That fact of how like, when you try something new or like maybe you’re going to start your own business. Or start a podcast or whatever it is and like the closest people around you. Who you would think are the people, who are like your router dies, sometimes. A lot of times those are the people who are like. Are you sure like this, isn’t a good idea or put the doubt in your brain.

And when we go through that, right, we think like. These people just don’t want me to be successful like we put it on them, and kind of like project that negative energy. When in reality, like those people just don’t want to see you fail. And so it comes out as a message of like, you shouldn’t do this. But really what in their minds, it’s just also fear and they don’t want to see you know. You go through a failure or anything like that, they want the best for you, right. So even though it comes out as like, they don’t want the best for me. Because they’re not supporting this idea of mine, it might not be that it might be like, they do want the best for you.

And they just don’t want to see you fail. But at the end of the day to Jareed’s point. If you’re okay with that failing and just accept the fact that not everybody is going to support you at first, like. You just have to do it for you and keep it moving and guaranteed. Like, you know, I’m sure you can speak to this, Pam, like all these people come around at some point. All the naysayers come back around at some point.

Jareed
But if you have close friends, who are trying to support you with something. You’re doing that should fuel you to work harder and make sure that it does happen the way you want to happen. So you can go back to him and be like, hey, yeah.

Pamela Bardhi
I absolutely. You know, I read a quote yesterday and I was like, oh, man. It was like this chapter in your life will cause people to wish that they treated you better. I read that quote and I was like, you know. One of my closest family friends said, when I was wanting to get into real estate, just traveling something mad negative. Ice cream, stick to ice, I was like, really, a mother, I was like. Watch when I pull up in the Lambo in your gas station. Just wait. And it’s like, but sometimes, you know, what I didn’t realize is like influence can happen through aggravation.

This is a recent thing that I learned. I’m like, motivation is something that’s a positive thing. And I never realized this. Sometimes, people who nag at you that aggravation can piss you off, so bad that you’re like, you know what? I’m doing? Wrong, right. Like, it’s an interesting way of being influenced too. But I realized like, you could actually use that. You’re sure. Some of the best elevation? Yeah, yeah. Real for real now, like, what are you guys up to in your world, what’s new. What’s new?

Asia
Recently dropped some more merges for the podcast, which is awesome. That’s a donewithadulting.com for its last merge. We did our first paid event for a university WP II. Which was exciting, we got to talk to some really cool college students, man, they’re so smart. Gen Z. They’re smarter than we were when we were there. Okay, that’s all I have to say. So that was a great experience.

And then I think coming up, I don’t know, we just have a lot of excitement about the summer and we eventually want to do an in-person event again. once it’s safe to do so. We kind of have a lot on our list that we want to take care of this year for sure. And just continue to grow our community and share our voices and stories and connect.

Jareed
people. You continue to grow the pod we do have. We have a good amount of great interviews coming up. Everyone’s job drops within the next month or so. So definitely an exciting time heading into the summer.

Asia
Yeah, it’ll be good. I’m excited about it. It should be good.

Pamela Bardhi
Love it, I’m so excited for you guys. I’m so honored to have you here. What’s new in my God, so I’m launching digital courses, I’m launching my coaching programs that are coming up soon. Getting into some live events later, like probably later in the year, most likely, my weddings coming up. We’re crazy in September. So just lots of lots of exciting and good things. And then, of course, just projects, real estate development projects that never end which are awesome.

You know, they’re fun. But yeah, I’m just trying to get everything done before like wedding time. You know? So just trying to get there that way because I really want to be present. Like that’s been one of my hardest things is like being present is so it’s. Because Jareed like you said earlier like sometimes you’re just always thinking about the next thing that you forget to be in the moment. And that’s like one thing I try to remind myself all the time. Yeah, that’s my world. Oh, man.

Jareed
So many great things happening. Shout out to stone Hill.

Asia
I know I’m so excited for you, I can’t wait to see all the pictures.

Pamela Bardhi
Thank you so much. But now you got to let everybody know where to find both of you.

Asia
So you can find the podcast on Instagram at done with adulting pod. My personal Instagram is at simply Asia Noel and if you want to plug your sharing,

Jareed
Yeah, just go to done with the adult Instagram. You can find me through there, actually, we’re both there. So you will find us via that. Also on Twitter done with adulting. Make sure you check out the website, Charlie cups of merge.

Asia
Yeah. And you can pretty much listen to us wherever you listen to podcasts. So whether it’s on Apple or Spotify, you can find us there done with adulting. Go ahead and subscribe, we are a little more casual than we were like, actually talking before this. It’s so funny because even though we always like to interview people, as we said in the beginning, it’s weird to be interviewed. So we’re like, okay and on our podcast, it’s a little more like friggin cursing and just adulting on personal. Have to bring it together when I’m on other people’s podcast because ours is so just like out there.

Pamela Bardhi
Yeah, to behave. You don’t have to behave around here. If you don’t have to do any of that. Honestly, I’m so amazed to see where you’re going with this and like seeing the badass girl. And just both of you to both like in your personal lives and you know and your business lives to just like expand. It’s just the dopest thing in the world to learn. I just can’t wait to see what you do. And like, I just want to thank you guys both for being here today.

Tune in to the episode to hear the rest of my incredible interview with the amazing Asia and Jareed.